<p>I totally get that there will be drinking and lots of it. But so many of my friends are sharing stories of drinking that dominates the social scene.</p>
<p>Friend's son just transferred from Kenyon due to huge amount of binge drinking. Starts Thursday night and ends Sunday.</p>
<p>Friend's son depressed that all there is to do at Univ of Maryland is parties with huge drinking.</p>
<p>Friend's son overwhelmed at Macalester at amount of drinking. </p>
<p>The stories go on and on...</p>
<p>We refuse to pay top dollar to send son to school where primary activity is drinking. His top choice is St. Olaf, where there will be drinking (but much less than at PARTY) schools. What do you think?</p>
<p>So much depends on the individual. I have heard that some departments & majors have a bit less of it but each kid can find the crowd that s/he is comfortable with. I don't believe my S drinks much (he hates feeling "out of control" so much he rarely even takes the meds he's supposed to).</p>
<p>Even tho the school he's at is notorious for partying (USoCal), he has found some very nice friends & I don't believe he finds the drinking to be much of a problem. My niece found a LOT of drinking at Notre Dame & a friend's son found a lot at U Penn, but they both were able to find a nice group where it's less predominant & not binging.</p>
<p>Some schools have "health" and drug-free dorms where they try to encourage healthier lifestyles & have quiet hours, etc. Your child may wish to look into it. My S just landed where he was placed & it turned out to be the "Great Outdoors" floor & he enjoyed it. They did a few outdoor activities as a dorm floor & got to know the girl's corresponding GO floor.</p>
<p>I don't think you can KNOW now whether whatever school your kid ends up in will have drinking be a "primary activitiy." One must assume that learning and classes occur if the student is to get an education & graduate, no matter what school it is.</p>
<p>Actually, yes. Most of today's campuses seem to be drenched in alcohol.</p>
<p>However, even on the wettest of campuses (well, at least at large schools), there are some kids who do not drink. </p>
<p>My son couldn't drink for three of his four years at a large university because of a medical problem, and he had no trouble finding things to do and people to do them with. (Incidentally, Complications, this was at the University of Maryland.) He didn't mind going to parties where everyone else was drinking, so he didn't feel that he had to say no to invitations. He did avoid the Greek scene, though.</p>
<p>My daughter, who is a sophomore at a different large university, doesn't drink out of preference. Unlike her brother, she does not enjoy attending alcohol-oriented parties where she would be one of the few non-drinkers. But she has found a group of friends who drink only occasionally or not at all and who don't build their lives around "partying," and she has a social life that seems to please her. (Need I say that this social life does not involve Greek houses?) She even found two other non-drinkers with whom to share an off-campus apartment next year. All three of them are pleased at the idea of a "dry" apartment because it will minimize the noise and barf issues.</p>
<p>With the obvious exceptions (e.g., Brigham Young), I think it's reasonable to assume that most large campuses have a lot of drinking, but that there is a sufficient quota of non-drinkers and moderate drinkers so that those who don't drink can have a life. I would be more concerned about small campuses. If they're drenched in alcohol, there might not be enough people who don't drink so that a non-drinking student could find sufficient compatible friends and non-alcohol-related things to do. I think that alcohol-averse students who don't drink should check out the drinking scene very carefully at any small school that they're considering attending.</p>
<p>These "drinking" kids must have tons of time at college. I do not hear stories like this from my friends at all. Kids barely have time to work out in gym. I would review my kid's schedule and grades in such cases and seriously question paying for it all.</p>
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These "drinking" kids must have tons of time at college. I do not hear stories like this from my friends at all. Kids barely have time to work out in gym. I would review my kid's schedule and grades in such cases and seriously question paying for it all.
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<p>I don't think that your friends are managing their time efficiently.</p>
<p>I think the drinking culture is huge at the Ivy my son attends. It does start on Thursday (sometimes Wednesday). He is a little older now and I get the feeling his crowd may be edging towards being a little more responsible. They tend towards nicer bars/restaurants (more upscale) than keggers in frats. However, alcohol is the main focus of any gathering. I don't like it, but it's a reality.<br>
As far as "not having time"- I assure you that most of the students have plenty of time to party with the exception of some athletes (in season). These are kids getting great grades in tough courses. STILL drinking a lot of the extended weekend.</p>
<p>My daughter is at Cornell living in a sorority house. She is required to go to X number of mixers a semester. She has so much work she only stays at those fraternity parties for an hour or two because she couldn't afford to sleep in the next day. I know because she calls on weekends between 9-10am before she heads off to libraries. She finds it hard to go to gym or get together with her friends on a regular basis. I know she used to go to a lot more parties as a freshman, but this year to quote her, "it just gets old after a while." I do think the first year people do get a bit carried away, then it calms down.</p>
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We refuse to pay top dollar to send son to school where primary activity is drinking.
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<p>Makes sense to me. I can understand having some fun, but wasting 1/2 of a week, every week, on drinking is a waste of life.</p>
<p>Friend's kid left Beloit because the freshmen either drank or played TV games. Another acquaintance's kid flunked out of an engineering program due to partying. It's beyond stupid.</p>
<p>For those whose non drinking children go to parties where there is alcohol, what happens if the party gets busted? My daughter was in a room for less 10 minutes (I know this because she called me when she left her room to meet friends to go to a school event and called me back in tears 10 minutes later) last year when this happened. She did not have a drink, nor did she have a infamous red cup in her hand. She was written up and we received a letter saying she was on probation for violating the school's alcohol policy.</p>
<p>So she has a notation on her file and so do the incoming freshman who, at a mandatory 2 day summer orientation, were caught with a case of beer while checking into their room.</p>
<p>All of the above is true. Lots of drinking, true. More of a problem for freshmen, true. Can avoid it, even at heavy drinking colleges, true. (And also, can find it even at colleges with no reputation for heavy drinking, true.)</p>
<p>The child of close friends didn't touch alcohol (or the equivalent) through her second year of college, probably one of only two or three kids in her high school class who didn't drink or get high on a regular basis. (Hard to believe, but I believe it.) She is at a LAC with a deserved reputation for heavy drinking. It has never bothered her. She found friends who didn't drink. She had taught herself how to have fun a parties where everyone except her was drinking. Ultimately, she decided it was OK to have a glass of wine, and she does that sometimes. She has loved her college from Day 1.</p>
<p>I can guarantee that there are things to do at the University of Maryland other than binge drinking. How a particular student reacts to the world is going to determine a lot here.</p>
<p>The only thing I question in the OP is what basis there is to conclude that St. Olaf is exempt from the general rule that residential, rural LACs tend to have the biggest drinking problems. I know only one kid there, a lovely young woman who is doing fine, but who is no one's idea of a teetotaller.</p>
<p>I do actually think St. Olaf has somewhat less of a drinking problem. A young friend who attended told me the St. Olaf kids who want better parties go over to Carleton to drink/party. I think St. Olaf tends to attract a more conservative student body, which does make it a little different from the typical rural LACs. Although, Sewanee is also somewhat conservative but has a huge drinking culture. Who knows???? </p>
<p>S has a close female friend at his school who does not drink. She pledged a top sorority, goes to parties, but simply doesn't drink. He said it was an adjustment for her to be around so many kids who were heavy drinkers, but she did OK.</p>
<p>Complications - I understand where you're coming from. Unfortunately, drinking is a huge part of the culture on most campuses. Whether or not an individual student can build a happy life outside of this predominant culture depends on a lot of things.
I know examples both ways.
Neighbor's kid at Darmouth is a very light drinker and has found a group of like souls and is doing fine. Took some work though.
Neighbors kid at Vandy is having trouble with the party and greek scene. Wants to transfer.
Friends kid at a OOS state school was a top student in high school and is now close to failing and dropping out. He was hit by a car while crossing a street (drunk) last year. He's made it through that OK... but wow..what a wake-up call.<br>
Friend's kid at Cornell dropped out after one year due the party scene. Is now attending Wheaton.
My kid is at a big party school. I know he parties - seems like Thursday through Saturday night. Keep his grades up and does LOTS of other things. I've talked to him about the dangers of excessive drinking until I'm blue in the face. Not sure how much impact it had - but it seems he's at least keeping himself out of trouble. He got lots of scholarships - and they're GPA driven. So so far, money is NOT an issue.
Lastly, I know one neighbor who believes her daughter is a non drinker. My son goes to school with her and knows differently. She actually drinks a LOT. Hmmm...wonder how many of THOSE situations are out there.</p>
<p>i think what makes st. olaf special is that it does attract large numbers of students interested in the music offerings there. my guess is that these students have strong music backgrounds at their high schools: select choir, symphonic band, marching band, jazz band, orchestra, etc.
they are motivated students and aren't there to just party. just good kids.</p>
<p>Perhaps UCLA is an outlier, but I never did find as much drinking as people claim. Then again, I didn't look under every rock...</p>
<p>It seems to me that a lot has to do with the personality of the student. If you want to find keggers, you will. If you're happy relaxing to a movie or a video game with friends, you'll do that too.</p>
<p>^Exactly. Also, UCLA fits the profile of a college that one would expect to have somewhat less of an alcohol culture: large, public, urban, not especially greek-dominated, not fully residential. It's not its own little world.</p>
<p>Regardless, I know that the frats were pretty good at offering a ton of alcohol. In any case, I never was a binge drinker. Why spend so much money to drink bad alcohol when you can spend LESS money and drink good alcohol?</p>
<p>I submit that binge drinkers are people who haven't had a Chimay or a nice glass of Blue Label.</p>
<p>Is the drinking at college some "surprise" to many parents? </p>
<p>I recall back when I first started posting on CC that there were lots of threads about drinking and drugs in HS. While lamenting the alcohol culture in college, isn't it a little late? If the student is in college and binging, is it that school's environment that is responsible or is it the student?</p>
<p>MomofWildChild stated:</p>
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S has a close female friend at his school who does not drink. She pledged a top sorority, goes to parties, but simply doesn't drink. He said it was an adjustment for her to be around so many kids who were heavy drinkers, but she did OK.
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<p>I think that if a student has decided to not drink or drug or to do so very moderately, the school environment is just that--background.</p>
<p>To be honest, I find a lot of the parents' shock regarding drinking to be a bit strange. My "boomer generation" family and friends seem to all remember drinking at their colleges. UCLA, for what it's worth, seems to be calmer today than it was in the 60s and 70s.</p>