There are definitely ordinary people on here, they just sometimes lurk in the corner.
My dAughter knew she needed sleep so she made the decision to chose sleep over grades. In ninth grade, she was in bed by 9:30 every might (her idea, not mine). She stayed up later each year but she never stayed up beyond 11pm in high school. There were plenty of times I wished she stayed up until, oh, 10:30 to do that extra bit for the A. But I came to realize she made a good decision. High school had some social stresses but not academic ones.
She knew her GPA did not define her. She had “ordinary” grades in high school but I don’t think she is/was an ordinary student.
Hi
I was a member of CC when my oldest started college years ago, posted little and learned much, I decided to get a new user name b/c the old one identified me too well and my community is pretty competitive and judgy, so I hope to remain somewhat anonymous 
Now I am here for my twin daughters. Both have very similar stats, 28 and 29 ACT (taking again in Sept Oct Dec), a HS sport, couple AP classes but only scored 2’s. GPA around 3.7-3.8 UW , play a musical instrument proficiently. Our family is not well financially at all right now so we will be relying heavily on grants and scholarships. Neither parent has a college degree.
Our home state is MS and probably they will end up going to MS State, go Dawgs!, and be quite happy and successful. Given the opportunity they really want to attend an OOS school, something smaller than a big state school. They have some colleges in mind and we are all doing research to find many safeties and a couple reaches.
I look forward to catching up and reading threads this weekend.
Nice thread, glad you started it OP.
I have a college dropout rock musician who cooks to pay bills and a “typical CC” achiever in a selective college.
I used CC for both (different username with the first kid on the older version of this board), and found it invaluable. As others have said, the parent forum, the financial aid forum, the class specific threads and the 3.0-3.4 or whatever it was in 2012 have all been very useful to me.
I stick around because I enjoy some of the discussions, and I STILL get useful info. For instance this past tax season I was able to figure out how to maximize a college tax credit with help from people here. I also sometimes have something to share with others going through the college/financial aid process that may be helpful.
The Chance Me forum is, IMO, a clicks-driver for the forum’s advertising, nothing more.
@compmom We looked at a bunch of CTCL schools and liked what we saw. However, Grinnell is no longer part of the CTCL group.
(Having posted that, I realize I’m late the conversation and someone may already have pointed that out … apologies if that’s the case.)
Sorry, I didn’t check the current list There are some great schools not on that list of course, that’s why I like to recommend the other Pope book, “Looking Beyond the Ivy League,” which is kind of a misnomer really.
Yeah, the CTCL schools are a terrific starting point, and then you can find “more like this” once you have figured out which ones appeal. My kid applied to about four CTCL schools and seriously considered a couple of others.
http:// ctcl.org /category/college-profiles/page/5/
I will tell you this place gave me a skewed view of my kids stats. Our middle son managed a 2140 on his SAT and I thought it was just a middling score. This year I saw the avg score for our high school and realized it was a very good score.
We looked at many of the CTCL schools for him, as other’s pointed out, you’ll find information about the schools here. fwiw, his favorite was knox. Also, I had deal w my wife that our kids would go to a state school if they couldn’t get into a better school (turns out we had a lot of “debate” about what constitutes better).
My daughter discovered this site a couple of weeks ago. She posted her question and got tons of responses which jump started her finally starting to think about college - thank you all for that
Since then I have been consumed with this site. Like @quietdesperation I think the site at first made us think she was more average than excellent. (30ACT and 3.6GPA with few ECs) But I am starting to come around on that. And even though her scores and grades are good, she really is pretty ordinary when it comes to being a kid. Very little reading or learning just for fun. She spends more time watching Kardashians and on Instagram than reading novels or studying.
And when I ask her what she likes about X college she shrugs her shoulders. “They all look the same Mom! - Just pick one we can afford and I’ll be fine” You know what? She is probably right. Sometimes I think us parents way overthink this stuff.
@stlarenas Starting with what you can afford is definitely the smart way to go. And then you’ll probably find that there are a few to choose from. One or two will stand out as right for you, I’m sure.
Well, unfortunately, the “They all look the same” attitude may backfire later. They are NOT the same for a specific kid, not at all. Every kid is different, what is important for one is completely irrelevant for another. Having clear cut organized in priority sequence the list of YOUR PERSONAL criteria is instrumental in choosing the college that will fit you personally and will make your life there much happier. The grades / stats play only limited role in this selection. They simply will cut you off from some colleges automatically. Then you do not need to research them, knowing that you do not have a chance there. This could be done pretty easily with no emotions attached whatsoever, just as a matter of fact. However, choosing from the rest, where they would be more than happy to have you and where you will be more than happy to spend the next 4 years of your life is a tedious and time consuming task that the applicant should be very willing to get engaged in. Even parents who are close to their children may not realize the certain aspects that happen to be important to the kid. I had no idea that pretty campus was very important to my D. But as shallow as it may seem, this criteria was not so shallow for her. So, I took it very seriously. This is just an example. The research should include multiple visits, staying overnight (if possible), talking to current students, asking questions, walking the campus, having all of these after initial on-line research.
Happy kid will produce happy results, misery will not do that.
I am going to guess this is not the process for most students. My daughter thinks I am crazy for all the research we are doing. The vast majority of the kids in our area just pick one of the state schools, apply, and go. And they pick based on which of their friends are (or are not) attending. That is it. Really.
I am sure that there is probably some colleges that would be better for my kid than others. But I am not sure it matters all that much. This is the kid that let me pick her classes for all 4 years of HS because she really didn’t care. To her a class is a class is a class. Sure - once she was in them she may have liked one better because of the teacher, or the kids in the class, or something else even less trivial. But to her going to school is her job and she will do what is asked. Some classes may end up more enjoyable than others but really they are all just “work” I hope that someday something/someone might inspire her and spark some real passion in her for something. But even if that doesn’t happen I am not really concerned. Tons of people go to college, check the boxes to get a degree in whatever is easiest, get a job in whatever they stumble upon, and do just fine.
CC is like anything. There is the good, bad, ugly, high school freshman parents, the book club, politics, and yes the fake chance me stats.
The things I get from here is specific things and great insight to my questions. Dorms for specific Colleges(even though one isn’t mentioned on here), what to take to college, how to keep expenses to a minimum, and so on.
It’s cheap entertainment too
@stlarenas if your D is the type who can “get along” (with different types of people and different situations) then she’s probably right that she’ll do well where she is planted. When I went off to college few kids bothered visiting. Things worked out.
While I agree that most kids will do fine wherever they’re planted, I have to admit, when I read a description of a student like your DD, @stlarenas, I just want to scoop that kid up and take her to visit some of the amazing schools that can be found in almost every region of this country, to try and elicit some passion or excitement.
There are, no doubt, worse things than showing up and ticking off the boxes and earning that credential, but it’s so much better when you love what you’re learning and are exposed to new and exciting ideas and people you never imagined.
Four years is a long time. Why not get the most out of them, if that’s possible?
@LucieTheLakie I agree. And we are doing way more than any of her friends when it comes to the college search. But sometimes it feels like I am selecting a college that I love - because she seems so indifferent about them.
To date we have visited UC-Boulder, Mizzou, UI-Chicago, Vanderbilt, and Maryville University-STL. We have at least 4 more we will visit before applications are sent and I imagine she will apply to at least 3 schools without a visit because they aren’t sure things and too far to drive to. She did not like UI-Chicago at all (way to urban and busy) but otherwise she has have very little option about the rest.
Honestly though - we live in a very middle class suburb of a large city and most of her friends are not putting the time and energy into the college search like we are - and compared to a lot you on CC we are slackers
VS.
This difference reinforces my view that the college-search needs to be driven by the student. My daughter thoroughly researched her college choice because it was important to her. She’s very happy with her choice. The kid who lives across the street from us decided at the last minute to go to the same out-of-state large public university that his girlfriend was going to (they’ve since broken up). According to his mom, he’s very happy with his choice, too. 
As my daughter would advise, “you do you.”
I can assure you, @stlarenas, you are not alone in having an ambivalent child, even among CCers! Just visiting and giving her some ideas is a good thing. Sounds like you’re doing a great job.
One thing my dad explained to me many of these people live where the have multiple schools in less then a 90 minute drive. We just got back from a college visit road trip 8 and 1 drive by in 12 days. 4100 miles and 72 hours of in the car. Most rewarding thing I did with him ever. I’m flying down to Arizona with my mom next month to visit 3 colleges and hoping for the same.
One thing my dad did is if it was only us he wouldn’t go in or on the tour with me, but groups he would tag along in the back or meet with the admissions or financial people. First time I thought he had no interest in the college, but instead he wanted me to be myself and didn’t want to be the focus or take over the conversation. Said it’s my decision as this will be my home for 4 years and not his or I be going in State.
“and compared to a lot you on CC we are slackers” - not slackers at all by my measure. Our visits were very very limited and much more focused and were based on very strict D’s criteria. So, at the end, there were only 2 schools that D. actually researched deeply, with multiple visits and overnights. She did not care to “spread her wing” too wide at all or go to any place because somebody went there and she never checked rankings or divided her schools to reaches, safeties, etc. She deliberately avoided all of these which was totally irrelevant to her. Frankly, she did not care how others approached the process either. In addition, she withstood the pressure from GC and ignored his advice as he was not very familiar with what she was looking for. She only cared to be as happy as she possibly could at the place away from the comforts of her home and away from us.
For some, leaving it to chances may work very well, but others want to make sure as much as they possibly could. No guarantee though with any strategy, just some kids need some kind of peace of mind even if it is only temporary until the college classes begin.