Engineering is not pre-med, I think the “weedout” is often due to the difficulty of the program and also people deciding they just don’t want to work that hard for all 4 years of college. My advice would be to really work hard the last year of HS, including taking as much calculus and physics (especially Physics C, the calc-based version) and learning to study hard and effectively, to work with friends in study groups, to find people to help (tutors, etc) …
I am not sure I would recommend a women’s college for engineering, since out in the real world, you will have to work with 50,60,70,80, even 90% men depending on the field and the company and the age group. It is good to practice working with men in college, forming good partnerships with men for studying, getting used to their ways, etc. Also to get used to their style of friendships and even some of the male posturing and aggression … better at college than at work.
Engineers can be somewhat shy or even anti-social … again get used to it in college and learn to work with it. There is a lot of team work involved. With the recession and job uncertainties, I think people are a bit less collaborative due to career fears and competition, but engineering is still a team sport … which is fun. I think women can bring a lot of social skills and people skills to the field … in addition to their awesome technical skills … which can make it better and more productive.
Personally, I like a closer to 50/50 M/F ratio at the university, but very few engineering programs will even come close to that (so having non-STEM women students helps normalize the experience, I think). I think talking to current students as to how they are treated by fellow students and staff is useful (schools should have women-focused events or at least a list of friendly students available via email or for your visit) … and I think at many schools male students are very supportive of their female colleagues.
I think engineering is a good field for women, your rating is based on real criteria rather than all on personality, most men are supportive, the pay is good, the opportunities are there (not sure I see a lot of affirmative action, but at least it is a level playing field), you could potentially do consulting part-time if you want to stay home with your kids, and if you are a techie at heart, you may spend a lot of years doing exactly what you like to do … and get paid for it.
More women would be better …