Anybody care to read my CMU essay? Just need some sort of feedback.

<p>Title says it all. I just need to know if I'm on the right track. Any readers are appreciated. </p>

<p>Thanks in advance!</p>

<p>if you still want it read email to <a href="mailto:hcpl2000@yahoo.com">hcpl2000@yahoo.com</a></p>