I graduated from high school a year ago and I did not attend Prom either my Junior or senior year due to financial reasons, not having a date,and not even having friends to go with due to changing schools three times within my four years of high school. I never have been a social person becuase of my aspergers! I feel like colleges should have college prom,why don’t colleges have this? I attend community college and there are no dance events here! I’m almost 20 and I believe the cut off age for prom at my former high school is 21,should I find a high school girl to go to prom with? I worry that me not going will hurt my future dating prospects. I feel sad that I didn’t go because I wanna feel special and I feel like that’s what prom does for people.i want the experience of a good dance someday because I feel like they are a good part of relationships and bonding!
I went so I can tell you that many events at college will be sort of similar.
If you’re feeling that sad, I would suggest going to therapy.
You’ll be fine OP. Hold your head up.
Prom has no impact on future dating prospects and I would not shop around for a younger girl to go with now if you don’t already have friends that age.
When you transfer to a university, they might have formals?
A few comments:
– If you feel that sad, go to a counselor NOW.
–Many people don’t go to prom for many reasons. Going to prom or not does not make or break anyone’s life.
– Stop looking backward and start looking forward. Forget about HS prom and move on to new college activities.
– Seek out social activities in college that you want to take part in and go for it.
–Some colleges do have dances (ex. through a sorority/frat, club, school sponsored) so keep an eye out for those.
@happy1 I go to community college so they don’t have that stuff! Why do Communtiy colleges not have much or any social events or extracurricular activities? I feel like they should offer those things becuase I graduated from high school like everybody else asked and I feel like I should be rewarded for it! Why am I not rewarded for hard work? Why do other kids get to fail and stay in high school forever or atleast until 21 and have full access to events and extracurricular activities while everyone else expects me to act like I love my Communtiy college!
Honestly prom is not a big deal. If you need a helpful story, my dad didn’t go to prom bc it was expensive and he is happily married to my mom, and well, I’m here, so. My mom didn’t go to prom bc she grew up in a country that didn’t have prom. She’s perfectly fine too. Tons of people don’t go to prom.
FWIW, I think its kinda creepy to try and find a high school date; you need to look forwards not backwards. Try joining a club at your CC, that might help you get involved in stuff and meet some people.
@snowfairy137 it is creepy to loook for a high school date(I don’t mean it that way) but you know I feel if I feel like prom is important. I just freaking hate it there at my Communtiy college becuase they have no classes that interest me(no classes in Zoology, Meteorology,or Environmental Science),no organizations of interst me,and no events like dance. What should I do? Would forming my own organization be hard if I never been in a leadership position? I feel like my school should have what I want because I’m paying them money to attend there!
I encourage you in the strongest possible way to seek professional counseling at your CC. You have a series of posts on CC regarding your unhappiness (can’t take a vacation, no family, no interesting courses, didn’t go to HS prom etc.). I think going to a professional and talking out some of your issues could be a tremendous help not only now, but for your life going forward. Nobody here who has never met you or spoken in depth with you can give more than general advice.
You are done with HS so stop looking in your rear view mirror and start looking forward. That you feel that people who failed HS and have not moved forward are “better off” than you at a CC indicates a problem. And the thought that you now want to go to a HS prom is concerning. As many posters have indicated, HS prom is not the be all and end all so you need to move off of that idea now. Again, counseling may help you to see that while CC may not be ideal , that you are moving forward.
The fact is that millions of students start their college experience at a CC for various reasons (get grades up, save money, other responsibilities etc.) and while it seems that your CC may not be perfect, the best course of action IMO would be to do as well as you can, take as many general ed classes as you can (talk to your academic or transfer advisor and set up an academic plan that makes sense) and give yourself as many options as possible for transferring to a four year college down the road. CC’s often do not have as vibrant of a social life as residential four year colleges as many students commute, go part time etc. but while you are there I suggest you seek out and join some clubs that interest you and make the best of it.
@happy1 they do not have professional counselors at my CC! Only an education success coordinator!
It seems that counselors are available. Take advantage.
https://www.ivytech.edu/southwest/7706.html
@happy1 I attend Ivy Tech in Lafayette and that campus was not listed on there! I’ve been to therapy at mental health facilities in the Communtiy but I’ve had two therapists that I liked and two therapists i didn’t like! I don’t know what ingredients make a good therapist but I had the biography of one therapist i liked and one therapist I didn’t like and I showed it to somone and they thought the one I liked was good because he came from a social work background and the one I didn’t like was bad becuase he came from a residential health(very focused on people with actual behavior issues) rather than helping me navigate my issues, give me help for the future,and help give other resources in the community. The last appointment I had with the therapist I didn’t like was not good becuase when I asked about is it normal to have regret about spending money, he said you can’t change whay you spent money on in the past( I don’t neeed that thrown up in my Face becuase I already know) and I asked is a lot of people bad with money at some point and he laughed and said no so I quit seeing him then.i need someone that can relate to my issues in someway because he has had that issue or know someone who has had that issue! I acutuallt brought up the prom issue To my old therapist that was good and even though he went to prom he said he doesn’t remember the last time talking about prom or isn’t sure where his prom pictures are even at and finds his wedding dance much more memorable. My old therapist that was good said to him the only difference between prom and other dances is that prom is a lot more expensive. Did my therapist have a good point?
I am not a therapist and will not opine. All I will say that you need a therapist you can relate to, can speak to comfortably, and who will be honest with you.
(And FWIW I can’t remember the last time I even though about my prom – once HS is over people move on to other things)
One of our local cc had an anniversary gala; students could attend. Also some fundraising events for local non-profits are formal dinner and dances. Check your local paper
@happy1 but could you please answe my questions about what kind of dances I have access to as an adult? I reallt don’t wanna go to the bar when I turn 21 because I never wanna drink alcohol and I think most of the people at Bars are Stupid!
There are many dances and ‘prom’ like events at colleges. Fraternity and sorority formals, military dances, fund raisers for charities, homecoming dances. My dorm held a ‘prom’ event; we just organized it and held it in a nearby hotel, just like Prom. No dates were required, we just went in groups. If you belong to a group on your campus, suggest a prom themed fund raiser.
In my adult life, I’ve been to weddings that are like formals, to fund raisers at my kids’ school, to company Christmas parties that are very Prom like. Even cruise ships hold formal dinners with dancing. You’ll have a lot of chances in your life to experience a dance if that’s what you want to do.
Generally speaking, once people graduate from high school, nobody really cares about their high school prom. Trust me, you really didn’t miss much. It is way too over-hyped. College ladies are not going to care whether or not you went to your junior or senior prom.
But you know what you could consider? Find a local swing dancing club in your area. A lot of the time, colleges will have stuff like this. Join it and participate. If you don’t know how to swing dance, save up some money and take a couple of classes. They’re often offered at community recreation centers or on college campuses, so the cost is cheaper than taking a dance class at a for-profit place.
Why are you still focused on HS and HS prom, that ship has sailed. High school is done with it is behind you and it is time to move forward. Maybe you should find someone like a local therapist in your area to possibly talk too. You are almost 20 years old move on with your life, enjoy life and stop dwelling on the past. You can’t move backwards just forward, no need to dwell on anything just keep swimming. You are going to a CC right now, and saving money while taking your general education courses and whatnot. Join an organization at your CC or social event most CC have those. I know going to a CC might not sound fun right now but when you get to University you meet so many people and make very many friends and you will be glad that you saved so much time and money. For now just focus on your grades and getting to where you want to get to. You can do it, best of luck. Also, consider talking to someone whenever you get the chance. Best of luck in your future.
@AW1996 I have mentioned Prom because I want a dance! Why haven’t you answered my Question in the previous posts asking,why isn’t there a such thing as college prom? I don’t wanna go to bars for dance because the people there are stupid and i don’t wanna drink alcohol! I hate going to community college so much that I wanna tell the people there that they suck! Why can’t there be a place for me that doesn’t involve alcohol or stupid people?
Try to find a swing dancing organization. I have a friend that does it and he says it’s a lot of fun. This same friend said prom was a boring experience.