Anybody up to provide harsh criticism for a Common App essay?

<p>I'm applying to University of Chicago (first choice), Kenyon, Sarah Lawrence, Reed, and two safeties. I answered Prompt 3, the person who influenced you essay. It's a bit long and has a few content problems I'm not too sure how to address, but I'd really appreciate a few experienced editors to look it over and tell me what you think. Friends and teachers have said it's touching, poetic, and poignant. But I'm not really sure it tells enough about me, and I feel it's a bit depressing (and long).</p>

<p>I prefer non-09'ers, but harsh criticism is paramount. Thanks :D</p>

<p>I answered the same prompt so I think I can try and help. I'm an 09'er but i submitted all of my apps a week ago, and i promise to be brutal. hehehe.PM it.</p>

<p>im an 09'er, but not applying to any of your colleges. And yes, I can deliver the harsh. PM me if you want. :P</p>