<p>My D has already made her decision, which is good, and we have made the deposit. She will be attending Boston Univ. It had come down to two in the end, BU and Fordham, both great schools and both very different. But now I can't help but feel that maybe she should have picked Fordham. I don't think she made the "wrong" decision as both schools are pretty equal academically. Maybe I would feel like this if it were the other way around. I guess I'm just being irrational, but is anyone else feeling like this?</p>
<p>Oh god, absolutely. We are still getting calls and lit from the schools he turned down, and I pitch them directly in the trash so I don’t look at them and feel buyers’ remorse on his behalf. He’s perfectly happy with his choice, but I wonder the same sorts of things — altho’ I admit I was rooting for his 2nd choice. Letting them pick is hard when they don’t pick what we want :)</p>
<p>I will let you know when she decides. she is down to Northeastern vs UVa. she is going into nursing and NEU has an excellent program as well as UVA.<br>
BU is a great school. I like where it is located better than Fordham. Boston is a navigatable city, with lots to do, excellent sports. she will enjoy her experience!!!</p>
<p>@greenbutton - Yes that is exactly how I feel and I do the same thing with the mail we are still getting too. Definitely feels like buyers remorse. </p>
<p>@downtoearth - D has a friend that goes to NEU for nursing and absolutely loves it! Boston is so great, don’t know much about UVA. And yes I like the location of BU better than Fordham too, but I absolutely loved their campus and the size, and D did too. She just feels she likes Boston better.</p>
<p>Westie, I think your D made a great decision. My D2 is a freshman at BU. She is having a wonderful experience. She likes her courses, had made great friends in her dorm, and has an internship in downtown Boston. I have a tendency to second guess decisions, and I find that it’s a waste of energy. Your D is going to a great school in a great city.</p>
<p>Actually, I felt like that when my oldest was a week old. I had this very strong, completely irrational feeling that we had given him the wrong name. He didn’t look like a John David at all! He looked much more like a David John. Possibly his life might be ruined by this tragic misnaming. </p>
<p>Actually, at the time he looked mostly like he should have been named “Blotchy Red Faced Squaller”.</p>
<p>We all got over it once we started getting more sleep.</p>
<p>Yes, I feel the same way. And, really, if they selected their schools wisely, it makes sense to fell that way, don’t you agree. And, the continuing mailings from other top picks certainly doesn’t help. :)</p>
<p>OMG, yes… I remember feeling the same way about my children’s names too.</p>
<p>Btw, I went to BU years ago. I loved every minute of it. Also, it has the best location of any school in Boston, IMHO.</p>
<p>There are days when I still second guess my DS’ decision, and he is 2/3 through his freshman year! But when I sit and talk with him, I feel good about it. There are always going to be pros and cons for each school, but if your child is happy with their choice, they’ll go into it with the attitude to take advantage of what’s before them.</p>
<p>30 years ago, my father was convinced that I was making the wrong choice - and I was attending his alma mater!) But it was absolutely the right choice for me, I had a tremendous college experience and it’s a decision I never regretted. And my dad came around too! :)</p>
<p>I think what is really bothering me is that BU is so big that she will just be a number there as opposed to Fordham its more personalized. But before we put down the deposit we talked to D about this and this is not a concern for her at all. I guess I am worried that she won’t put her self out there enough and seek help when she needs it, or she will get lost in the shuffle. I know she had to make this decision on her own and we trust her. Hopefully this will be a growing experience for her. And @ eastcoascrazy that is so funny about the name, I think we went through that too :). But the point is that 4 years down the road when she graduates, it won’t make any difference.</p>
<p>BU is big, but the different schools make it feel much smaller. I think that you will feel relieved after Orientation when you see how much support is available. The use of email also helps with communication at big schools. My D constantly gets emails from the university and her school reminding her about deadlines and requirements.</p>
<p>At large universities like BU, the first year or two may include some big lectures, but once she chooses a major, she will get to know the professors much more closely.</p>
<p>I also try to remind myself that what I “know” about my sons may not be what they know about themselves. Sometimes as parents we assume that they want a big school, a small school, a urban school, whatever; it turns out they are yearning for something else completely. </p>
<p>And as S1 has observed, I could overthink a sandwich.</p>
<p>Westie, was the Fordham Bronx or Manhattan? If the former, then no contest; BU is in an infinitely better place. If the latter, well, both are great locations. Carry on with the discussion :)</p>
<p>Westie - I totally understand. My stomach is in knots everyday because S has good choices, but no one perfect choice, so he’s still mulling them over. So much stress!</p>
<p>@mutti2012 - It was the Rose Hill campus in the Bronx, which isn’t a great surrounding area, but magnificent enclosed campus, with easy access into manhattan.</p>
<p>@greenbutton - I absolutely had ideas of what I thought my D wanted, guess I was wrong :).</p>
<p>Greenbutton – absolutely agree about not knowing all the corners and bits about our children. This experience has been eye-opening and humbling for me as a parent. As I have described elsewhere, we spent spring of 11th and much of fall of 12th convinced that our son’s interest in big state school was driven by reluctance to leave a known community, since so many classmates would be going to our state flagship. I kept believing that he would come to realize he was a LAC kid. When we finally got around to visiting another big state school (Wisconsin, where he will be a freshman in the fall), I literally watched him fall in love. I felt like an idiot for consuming our lives with all that conflict because I thought I knew what was better for him. Turns out, this kid who spent his early years living in the city and abroad, loves the energy of a big school and was desperate to stay away from an LAC where there would be 1500-3000 quirky, creative, independent kids just like himself. Once I got over my control freak in that regard, the process was much better.</p>
<p>And so, I moved on to trying to insert myself in the dorm selection, roommate selection and class choices. Really hard to express views and not dictate outcomes. I am pleased at how his decision-making process seems to be maturing – at least he listens to what we have to say. Better than I was to my mother at that age, I was sure that I knew it all.</p>
<p>I am trying very hard to remind myself that this process is about me learning how to be a parent of a college student, just as it is about him learning how to be one. I am sure I will have lots more bumps and bruises along the way. Good luck all.</p>
<p>I can totally relate. Our house is just one big mess of stress with D ready to pull the trigger either today or tomorrow on UW Madison or Fordham. She just returned from a two day visit to St. Louis University and while she likes the school a lot, the city of St. Louis didn’t do much for her. She is leaning toward Madison, I can’t say that I’m unhappy with that because it’s a great school and as in-staters, so much more affordable than Fordham.</p>
<p>I feel bad every time my d crosses one off her list, just like we were so excited when we got the acceptances and I became attached. My d’s went to a small private HS and both didnt want a small college. But i have often wondered about the getting lost in the shuffle part. D1 a junior is very happy with her choice, has found her niche within the university. I am also wondering that about NEU especially.
Thanks for the input, just hard to put our babies out into the big world!!! Bu is a great school</p>
<p>Yes, I am anxious. My son had it down to three extremely good schools. He just knocked off the one that I thought was his top choice (and our top choice) by far. It is definitely the most selective and a school that we are really familiar with. He was waitlisted for it, but I think that has nothing to do with his decision, as there are things he could do right now to greatly increase his chances of getting off the waitlist (after meeting with admissions), and he knows it. He just told me he took it off his list because he likes the other two schools better. </p>
<p>We just visited all three schools (plus two others), and he seemed very happy at the one he knocked off. Of the two left, he seemed to like one a lot and the other not so much, leaving me wondering…why is he saying he likes the one he seemed disinterested in now? I am so confused, I am wondering if he’s doing this to torment us, though he is not that type of kid. I’d hate for him to choose a school he isn’t crazy about just to assert himself, that would be ridiculous. I am keeping my mouth shut and trying not to react to anything, but…</p>
<p>As long as I live, I will never completely understand why my daughter turned down the schools she did in order to go to the school she chose (her safety)…</p>
<p>But, she’s very, very happy, and she’s working, and it’s all worked out way better than I would have imagined. It actually looks exactly the same as it would have looked if she had gone to the others. (Maybe proving the point that it’s not the school you go to so much as who you are to begin with?)</p>
<p>Just so you guys know it can and does work out. </p>
<p>Hang in there.</p>