<p>@busdriver- That is how we felt with our D, she had 6 acceptances total and knocked off the 2 we thought she was interested in the most right away. Also, she never once talked to us about BU before she was accepted, so we assumed she wasn’t that interested. Come to find out she never thought she would be accepted but apparently it had been in the back of her mind that if she got in she would likely go there. Makes me wonder if I know my daughter at all.</p>
<p>When our oldest was a couple of weeks old, my husband came home from work and held her. He then put her down - on her back. I immediately said “Honey, you are supposed to put her on her stomach during the day so she can develop neck muscles to lift her head.” He looked at me, smiled, and said “Yeah, I worry about that too. I just know that she is going to be going out on dates, having to hold her head up with her thumb because we didn’t put her on her tummy when she was 10 days old.” Message received - we talk about this and laugh at these moments - helps with the worrying to remember that this time next year your daughter will probably be like mine - posting a Facebook message that “nothing beats studying on the BU beach in a bikini in April.” Just make SURE she does FYSOP - move heaven and earth and skip the matriculation ceremony if you have to. It’s the best idea ever to have the students spend the first week doing community service, and they make great friends.</p>
<p>Very glad it has worked out so well for your daughter, poetgrl. They may not always make our choices, or what seems numerically right on paper…but sometimes I think they know what would make them happy more than we do. Of course, I still am counting on that arranged marriage with your daughter anyways, if she ever gets rid of that boyfriend.</p>
<p>“Makes me wonder if I know my daughter at all.”
I know exactly what you mean. We feel like we know so much about what they want, and it’s alarming to realize that we might not have a clue. When you think about it now, out of all the schools, does BU seem like the best place for her now?</p>
<p>So my kid has it down to the school that seems like the perfect environment, heaven on earth for him…and one that seems rather harsh, not the type of place he’d like or fit in as well. And I’m afraid he’s going to choose the wrong one.</p>
<p>don’t worry, I’m coming to find you about that arranged marriage when they hit their late twenties. :p</p>
<p>I don’t know what it is like when you have boys. Can you tell him what you see, without telling him what to do? I can do this without making anyone upset. (As you can see, I have very little influence, but I can do it.)</p>
<p>Can your husband say something? </p>
<p>Sometimes I sic my oldest on my youngest, which can work or REALLY backfire.</p>
<p>Good luck.</p>
<p>I’m counting on it, poetgrl. Between you and the landshark, I got both boys taken care of. Perfect girls and beautiful grandkids, what more could I ask for?</p>
<p>I am afraid to say anything right now. I have gotten such a weird reaction when I tried to say anything, that I ended up sending him an email when I was sitting 5 feet away from him. I am usually pretty persuasive and sneaky, but right now I think he sees right through me. My husband seems to have more influence (kid relates to him much more than me, I am always wrong in an argument…though I am usually right of course), but he’s disappointed that kid threw out top option #1, so I told him just to not say anything. And the oldest is also shocked that his brother threw out option #1 (same school he goes to), so God knows what he would say. I’m trying to just shut up, as I was told that he wants to make his decision without our input (though I doubt that includes not wanting our 220K+ input). I think he’s just tormenting us for sport. Which is not like him at all. Sometimes I wish I had a girl who would actually talk to me!</p>
<p>S2 was adamant throughout the admissions cycle that he did NOT want to follow his older brother to the same college. Too many years following him lockstep through every class and school . He wanted an identity beyond being S1’s younger brother. He applied to S1’s college only because we insisted. It was a safety and a financial safety. </p>
<p>He was admitted to the honors program at S1’s college with a full tuition scholarship. A year later I’m still chewing the inside of my cheek while smiling and nodding because he turned it down to attend the more expensive college that had been his one true love since the moment he set foot on it for a visit during his junior year. </p>
<p>He is happy, happy happy there, and the tuition is doable for us without loans, but I was anxious over the decision making last year. (He, however had a pretty easy time with the decision.). What made it a little easier on all of us was our parental declaration that the decision had to be made, with deposit, before our spring break family vacation. So at this point last year, the decision had been made already. </p>
<p>I can’t imagine him anywhere else, now.</p>
<p>“Sometimes I wish I had a girl who would actually talk to me!” LOL!!</p>
<p>busdriver : Let me tell you, the grass is not always greener.</p>
<p>busdriver - Not sure if BU is the “best” place for her (not yet anyway), but I definitely feel she will be fine there. She had at least 3 schools that she would have been very happy at, but in the end she chose the one she thought would be the best fit for her. I think once she is there and settled I will feel better about the decision, I haven’t had enough time to process it yet.</p>
<p>Also, I have two daughters, D1 always talked non-stop (still does) and tells me most everything, always did. D2 (the one attending BU) keeps everything bottled up and hardly tells me anything. She is also closer to her father and will open up more with him. But even he was surprised when she made her decision.</p>
<p>Westie my life except the opposite. D2 (the one deciding) tells me things but I worry about my words swaying her in the wrong direction. I want ther to be happy with her choice and not because she thinks it is what I want. so i am careful to present the facts but not how I feel.</p>
<p>Are you kidding? I’m about to lose my mind. Of the 8 or 9 schools she was accepted to, not one was a clear “this is it”. Narrowed it down to 2 schools over the past week. One has the better overall campus experience, one the better program. I couldn’t even try to brainwash her to go with my pick because I couldn’t make up my mind. Which is more important? The experience at both of these schools (Chico State in California, SUNY Purchase in NY) is going to be completely different. She chose Purchase (far better program for her major, graphic design) and I’ll be worrying until she’s in the deep end of the pool and I see that she’s swimming. I don’t remember it being this difficult or traumatic when I did it, a million years ago.</p>
<p>D sent out four “will not be attending” replies today and called swim coach to one school to let him know she would not be accepting his offer and attending. (That was a little harder for her than she thought it was going to be.) She has three more schools to follow up with yet. She says I am determined to make her doubt her choice. I guess I got attached to each one for different reasons.
I am so sad…I love her choice (Case Western) but the whole process still makes me feel sad. I am not sure why…</p>
<p>My son has graduated from the school of his choice and I still worry about everything.</p>
<p>^ Me too. It never ends.</p>
<p>bluepoodle, I feel the same way, and I don’t remember feeling this way when older child was deciding between two finalists five years ago. Might be because I was blissfully unaware of this website at the time. CC can be very useful, but I think it also creates a lot of anxiety and second guessing.</p>
<p>It took me years not to beat myself up for tossing all his acceptance letters into the recycling bin. As if…that would ever make a difference!</p>
<p>S was deciding on law school this year. It felt even more unnerving than undergrad, like the rest of his life may depend on it. We stayed away from his decision process, after all, it’s his career and his money on the line. He picked a school where he felt the most “at home” and all three of us are very excited about the next school year and the new adventures it will bring.:)</p>
<p>It is SO hard to step back and let kids make their own “once in a lifetime” decisions. My h.s. sophomore has three study abroad programs on the table for next year. One is to go to Malaysia to be a kind of student ambassador to the Muslim world, one is to be an exchange student in Taiwan and one is to attend a boarding school in China and receive intensive Chinese language instruction. Two of these programs are full scholarships through the U.S. State Department. I feel so torn. I know he wants to learn Chinese but I wanted him to have a host family. He doesn’t think he’d learn as much Chinese in Taiwan since there is no guarantee that he would be given language instruction throughout the year. That program is also not a scholarship and is not associated with the State Dept. I thought the program in China would be perfect until I learned about the boarding school - AFTER he was accepted. He has to make up his mind in the next couple of days…</p>
<p>For many of our kids, college is the first adult decision they’ll have to make, one in a long line. It’s normal to be slightly sad for the path not taken. David Foster Wallace expressed this well:</p>
<p>“Day to day I have to make all sorts of choices about what is good and important and fun, and then I have to live with the forfeiture of all the other options those choices foreclose. And Im starting to see how as time gains momentum my choices will narrow and their foreclosures multiply exponentially until I arrive at some point on some branch of all lifes sumptuous branching complexity at which I am finally locked in…But since its my own choices thatll lock me in, it seems unavoidable–if I want to be any kind of grown-up, I have to make choices and regret foreclosures and try to live with them.”</p>
<p>What can you do to get off the waitlist?</p>
<p>I think it would be better to start your own thread on this athena1.</p>