<p>After spending 2 years looking at websites and brochures, meeting with guidance counselors and admissions reps, and visiting all different types of schools I cannot believe we are down to the last week and my daughter is not able to make a decision yet.</p>
<p>Yes, we have lists - pros and cons for both schools. They are both great choices and the negatives are minor. We have budgets for both schools ($$ are nearly identical, so cost is not even any help as a decision maker). We have visited and asked lots of questions. We have talked to faculty, administration and students. She just told me that she made up her mind 20 times this weekend - and each decision was definitive - until just a few minutes later. It didn't help having a twin sister who was very focused and had no real difficulty deciding to attend her first choice school once she was accepted.</p>
<p>I am thinking of suggesting that she just toss a coin - but after all this work I don't want to have such an arbitrary decision. (Yes, I'm just kidding about the coin toss.) We agreed that this Thursday is the final day for decision making. That way we can mail everything in on time. </p>
<p>My question for anyone else experiencing this right now is: Are there any comments or questions that are helping your seniors actually move forward with a decision that they will not second guess?</p>
<p>My son is in the same position. I do think he is leaning in a particular direction, but whenever I ask, he says he just doesn't know yet. Since he will be a trumpet performance major, he has set up lessons with both his trumpet teachers in the next two days and will discuss it with them. I told him when he returns Tuesday night, he has to decide. He assures me he will, even if it means flipping a coin. :-)</p>
<p>I mainly listen as he talks about the schools and try not to influence him in any particular direction. Besides he already dropped my favorite from consideration! :-(</p>
<p>We're also "completely undecided" as of this morning (4/25)...complicating my S's decision-making is his broken ankle/surgery post-op state (he had surgery 4 days ago)...he broke his ankle 2 days before we had planned a round of "choice visits" and so those didn't happen. </p>
<p>I'm not too worried about it, though...of his four schools, his "top two" vary day by day--but there's one that's always in the top two, and has been since last summer when he first put together his list. If he chooses one of the others it will be fine, but I do think he will choose that one. But I think it will be Sunday (5/1) before he actually chooses it. (And I'll have to scramble with FedEx and phone calls to get the notice in.)</p>
<p>Of course, that one school is the only one that didn't give hm a week's extension due to his surgery...they didn't say "no," they simply have not responded to our request for an extension. We'll try harder today to actually get through voice mail and e-mail and talk to someone in Admissions to get the extra time.</p>
<p>If he's recovered enough on Saturday, we'll do one drive-thru trip to the only one of the four he hasn't seen...</p>
<p>I'm positively jealous of all my CC friends whose kids have made their decisions...but it's only a few more days...and I do believe he can't make a "wrong" choice--even if he throws a dart, it'll wind up being a good choice!</p>
<p>we did fill out the thanks but no thanks to most of the schools but are down to the final two. we also filled out the 'yes please' for the last two so at least that's done! my daughter's decision is complicated by the fact that her special friend is attending the school that I think in her heart of hearts she knows is her best match, but they had vowed months ago not to attend the same school. The other school is ranked better academically but her visit was off putting. Oh, and there is a $12k out of pocket differential in favor of the 'better fit'. We are trying to help her make the right choice; we don't want her looking back on this twenty years from now with any regrets. By the way, we did go thru the decision rubric mentioned above in this thread - her 'best fit' was hands down the points winner. Good luck to everyone else!</p>
<p>As a mom who was on a first name basis with the Fed Ex man throughout the application and decision process last year, I wish you long-suffering parents luck through these final few days. Yours will be a special kind of joy (and relief) when they finally do choose.</p>
<p>We recently visited our son at his college for the spring orchestra concert. It gave us a chance to see the campus and him without being surrounded by the hoopla of admitted students weekend, parents weekend, orientation, etc.
It was great to see him in his regular weekday environment, and to observe the campus and students. He seems so much more at ease in his environment than we had anticipated that it was worth flying 2,000 miles each way just to see that. We all laughed over how crazed our household was this time last year.</p>
<p>While on campus we saw a few prospies. We could easily tell the leisurely junior visits from the last-minute senior ones (there is a frantic look in the eyes of parents wishing their kids would make a decision that cannot be mistaken -- been there, done that). It was all too clear a reminder that we will be in the thick of it again this coming year with our daughter and we have no illusions (or delusions) that it will be any easier --different kid, different schools, and probably more drama in the process! </p>
<p>Celebrate with your kids when the decision is made. You earned that right.</p>
<p>We are also waiting for white smoke from S's room. He will be heading out of town on Thursday so I had hoped for a decision over the weekend. He has two wonderful options, has been leaning towards one all along, but just hasn't been ready to give up the other. Interestingly enough, wherever he ends up, he will have the option of cross-registering at the other school.</p>
<p>1MoreMom -- I had to laugh when I read your post. Just last night, I told our S to let me know whether the smoke from his ears was black or white! We have given him until Tuesday -- then I want to be able to overnight the acceptance and get the other decisions to their respective schools. He's down to 3 choices, all of which are good. One is a little more convenient and slightly better financially (about $2500 per year, so not enough to force the decision). A previous post talked about the idea that the kids, after years of doing their best work in school and ECs, finally are in the driver's seat. I also think that my S just hates to give up any of the schools, although clearly he can only attend one. Actually, one school would only be available for undergraduate, and the other two are possible grad school options. After all the effort, though, I guess we can give him until tomorrow.</p>
<p>Do they wait because they do not know, or do they wait to watch the parents suffer? Last year my D waited until the last minute, and I think she knew all along.</p>
<p>momoftwins - we were there, as well, and then comes that certain something that makes them choose, and that's it. overanxious mother, have followed your son and his injury, and although the drugs are affecting him (as they would all of us) I am thrilled to hear that he may be recovered enough to visit that one last school! Give him my best and a wish for a truly remarkably speedy recovery, and know that whatever decision he makes, after all your preparation and research, he will make it with knowledge and information, and heart.</p>
<p>OOOOOOOhhhhhhhhhhhhh God, I am in the same situation...3 more days to go, and I am still hesitating between Harvard and Yale. I have made that decision chart, and Yale turned out the winner. What hinders me from choosing it are the pleas of all of my relatives, friends, teachers, who want me to go to Harvard. But somehow deep in my heart I feel that Yale is for me, it just feels more like me, and I beleive that I'll feel more comfortable there...and still I have doubts. How am I supposed to turn down Harvard, yes Harvard. People will think me insane until the rest of my life. And I cannot turn dwon Yale, since I love it sooooo much...
I beleive that whatever I choose, I will lose and screw myself up, and ask myself until the rest of my life "what would have been, if..''</p>
<p>PARENTS, please don't push your children so much...the pressure during these last days is already UNBEARABLE!</p>
<p>We are there. My D is 95% ready to commit to Chicago, but she wants to go over the finances one more time for Swarthmore. It really tugs at her.</p>
<p>Go with what feels right to you! Your friends, relatives, and teachers will not be the ones spending four years at the college; you will. Yale is a great school. I think you will feel far more regret if you turn down the one you love for the one others think you should choose than vice versa.</p>
<p>And I agree with you--parents should never pressure their kids to choose a particular college. It's a hard enough decision without outside pressure.</p>
<p>This is such a funny thread (easy for me to say - my kid's all set - but it wasn't easy - he's the one who told me "I don't have time to think about it, this week or next week"). The white and black smoke is SOOO funny. I also liked lalady's story of being able to distinguish between juniors and seniors at the visits. Yikes! This too shall pass!</p>
<p>mariela
[quote]
beleive that whatever I choose, I will lose and screw myself up,
[/quote]
Instead, I believe that whatever you choose, you will win! But I agree - go with the one YOU want. The relatives will just have to <em>settle</em> for Yale :rolleyes:</p>
<p>I asked S, as we were starting our discussion, if he had thought about it, and he said "No, haven't had time because of the show." They are so young, aren't they? :) See my thread "Penultimate discussion results" for details - he finally did consent to employ his cognitive capacities to analyze his choices in detail.</p>
<p>Overanxious- Sorry to hear about your S's injury. Good luck to him in his recuperation and in making his college decision.</p>
<p>Mariela- I say, when in doubt, follow your gut!</p>
<p>30+ years ago, my sister decided to transfer after her freshman year. She was faced with 2 great options and couldn't make up her mind. She went as far as sending deposits to both schools. At summer's end, she sat in the packed car with our father, having to drive to school, and STILL not knowing which one to choose. Both colleges were about a 6 hr. drive from our house in opposite directions. God bless our father for not strangling her at this point! She tearfully made her decision while sitting in the car, and it proved to be a good choice, as she went on to become quite successful in her field. And, I think her decision making skills have dramatically improved, too. True story.</p>
<p>Yes, my DD is still undecided, although I think the number is down from 5 to 3. We are doing a second visit next weekend to Yale (o.k., so we arrive Saturday night and leave Sunday evening, but that was the only time that could be squeezed in between Track meets and preparing for IB exams). All of the paperwork will be completed for all 3 schools and on Monday one packet will be taken to the post office. Just wish I had an idea which one it will be.....</p>