<p>I love how you guys have so carefully managed to keep the actual names of the schools secret. Kinda...odd lol</p>
<p>Not really. The discussion is about the decision PROCESS, not asking for advice on selection of a specific school.</p>
<p>Last night my daughter asked me to just pick a school for her. I thought that was a nice way to plan on blaming me anytime anything goes wrong in the next few years. It was nice to laugh about it.</p>
<p>In the meantime her friends are lining up in both camps. It's bad enough to have me ask mildly if she has anything to say, but lots of peers all day long - I'm so glad it's not me.</p>
<p>^Don't fall into this trap. Last April 30th , at the end of a very tearful week, friends chose the school for their child when at the 11th hour she still could not decide. One year later the student is miserable and the parents feel guilty. Part of the maturation process is learning to make decisions. Offer support, express opinions, but the decision must be theirs.</p>
<p>whew! My D just called from Boston and really is enjoying the campus, the people and the program....we may have a decision although Boston is a long way from So Ca!
It has been a great growth experience to make this decision. Her comment on the phone was "it is surreal to think that in a few months I could be living here!" She said that it was really different looking at schools with that in mind then when we toured schools her Jr. year and even in Feb. So the all night flight there last night and back again tonight was worth the investment.</p>
<p>my-3-sons,</p>
<p>There is no way that I will tell her where to go. She knows both Tulane and the U of Illinois are marvelous options, and so do I. I also know that it could be only natural to look for a reason any time she received a bad grade or overslept or had a bad day or a broken heart. And that reason could easily be, "Mom made me come here".</p>
<p>I'll be happy with either decision, but will not fall into the trap. I also think it's interesting that even my husband and I cannot figure out which one she will ultimately choose. And the ticking is getting louder.</p>
<p>My son bought stuff at the bookstore of every college we visited - going back from 3 years ago when we were visiting colleges with his sister. He also has stuff from his older brother's college. So he kept wearing all this stuff, it was like he was trying the college on. I think I knew where he was leaning toward when he asked me three days in a row to wash one college's socks. Yup, socks. If your daughter got t-shirts or other stuff, have her put them each on and imagine, or go to the mall or to school and see how she feels wearing it. Sounds stupid but for some reason it helped my son determine how he felt.</p>
<p>mcdeb,</p>
<p>I'll try that one tonight. If I offer to take her out to dinner, maybe she'll wear the green Tulane baseball hat with the U of I Final Four orange tee shirt. (I am pretty confident she wouldn't be seen in public with me if I dressed like that) It's certainly worth a try. Too bad we didn't buy any of the socks.</p>
<p>Last year, May 1st, standing by the fax machine with acceptence cards from 2 schools in his hand, I asked: "Which school can't you let go of? Five or ten years from now, can you picture yourself saying 'I kind of wish I'd chosen the other one.'"? He said that's when he knew and the decision was made.</p>
<p>It's Carleton by a nose...but wait...Oxy's on the outside...but no, it's Grinnell!!!! Winning in a burst of speed!!!</p>
<p>You guys are TOO FUNNY!!! Thanks for sharing your stories. Now if I could just find the scholarship paperwork due Friday ....</p>
<p>Well I'm in the same boat with the rest of you frantically trying to decide between colleges. For me, it's in-state-but-intimidationg Berkeley vs no-financial-aid-dream-school Georgetown. It's been grueling trying to make this decision, to say the least.</p>
<p>Good luck to everyone! :o</p>
<p>So last night I took my daughter out for ice cream. It has been known to help in decision making. She still changes her mind every 5 minutes. We had already decided that Thursday - TODAY! - will be the drop dead decision date. She said that she thought by sleeping on it one more night, she would be able to decide by Thursday.</p>
<p>In my sweetest mom voice, I asked her this morning if she slept well. The sweetheart said that she did. Then I asked her if she felt closer to a decision. And she said that she has been leaning more towards one of the schools since last night. Again, in my sweetest voice, I asked which one. And in her sweetest voice, she said she couldn't tell me yet, she'd let me know tonight. (GRRRRR!)</p>
<p>We are still not talking about it, but being encouraging in the background- a late night bedtime tuck in has been good for a few tidbits. Three schools, two similar in out of pocket costs and one pricier.....what to do, what to do. I finally got D2 to talk to D1 who is 3rd year university- don't ask her what to do, ask her what surprised her-goo& bad- about the school/location she chose.</p>
<p>I like the ice cream idea- we made a date to have dinner tonight with DD, making good munchies & we'll just review some pros & cons and let her simmer....until Monday I guess!</p>
<p>I must say, she struggled just as much over the prom dress and I loved the story of the sister sitting in the car in August trying to decide, no way I'll tell me DD that one! She'd jump on it in a minute.</p>
<p>Boy, am I glad all this is behind us. It was fun, in a dramatic sort of way, but...new challenges, new adventures.</p>
<p>SomeMom and MomofTwins -- just so you don't feel alone, this indecision is not unique to girls! After 10 days of accepted student visits, and almost a week to really consider his choices, he's finally decided on Dartmouth. As of this morning, I have to add. He did give us a tentative idea that he was moving in this direction on Monday night, but then yesterday his best buddy was able to work out the financial aid issues at one of the other schools my son was considering, so I thought we'd be struggling with this until Sunday! In the end, Dartmouth's focus on undergraduate education and slightly better financial picture finally tipped the boat for him. Also, he can look at the other two choices for graduate school later, but Dartmouth would not be in the picture for him then.</p>
<p>I actually think that the indecision these kids are facing is the result of spending the time and effort to really research the schools which fit them the best. In my son's case, I could really see him at any of his choices -- they were all good fits for him in different ways. Geography helped move him away from UChic. and Rice, but his top 3 choices are all on our coast. Like many other focused kids, he is also reluctant to close doors on opportunities. I just wish that he had an easier time making this decision. We'll be faxing/mailing all of his responses this afternoon, so I hope nothing changed during the day! I have to say that reading about the difficulty that other kids are having in making this decision really helped me to be more patient and understanding with him -- thanks CC!</p>
<p>My daughter yesterday evening told me that she thinks she wants to go to her "safety" school, which was off the list as of the weekend. When we have logical discussions, she admits that there are many reasons not to select it. But when she thinks about all of the change that is coming, I think it just seems much more appealing, at least at the moment. Of course, by bed time she was again discussing her reach school as a possibility.</p>
<p>I feel like I am watching a horse race with the top contenders neck and neck as we approach the finish line.</p>
<p>Lp75,</p>
<p>Make sure she knows that change will happen either way!!</p>
<p>Also: which decision will be easier to reverse, if she is unhappy? Much harder to transfer from safety to reach than the other way around....</p>
<p>Does anyone have a deadline later than us? We are set for Monday afternoon, last Fedex dropoff. This will be after a weekend in which she has two performances for the school play, three days at Stanford admit weekend, my family in town for niece birthday and studying (her not me) for the AP exams next week. Oh geez. Trying not to complain in light of our great good fortune. I am a believer in the idea that if you want to run with the big dogs you have to be able to keep up. </p>
<p>But in practice? Oh geez.</p>
<p>"I must say, she struggled just as much over the prom dress"</p>
<p>Bringing back nightmares!!!! I don't know which was worse with D, picking a school or a prom dress. (The former was a disaster, the second turned out all right.)</p>
<p>Thank God her little bro got in ED, and just needed to rent a tux.</p>
<p>I couldn't've survived another go 'round.</p>