<p>i don't mean acquaintances.. i meet those all the time. "what's your name? major? interests", "oh, let's be facebook buddies". and then you never see them again. i haven't had a decent friend conversation since... i don't know.. high school maybe. it's not hard to find people to make small talk to. it's actually not even hard to get people to speak to me. people like to make small talk and ask me questions. but, i find it so difficult to expand beyond that, and i usually haven't gotten past the acquaintance stage. i kind of feel like i should be very careful with what i say. i don't want to freak people out by trying to find out too much about them at first (they'll think i'm a stalker). and if i don't talk enough, or am very quiet, people end up thinking i'm snobby (this happens most often in class where i'm too tired to talk, or am just absorbing what i'm given). i don't feel like friends should be that hard to make. i just don't have it in me anymore. it's even harder to get the people i want to hang out hang out with me. there's some people i find really interesting, but they end up thinking i'm creepy.. just b/c i want to be their friends. oh well. life sucks.</p>
<p>You just got to take a few chances. People tend to be less judgmental than your gut instincts say.</p>
<p>Here's a few golden rules:</p>
<p>1.) People love talking about themselves. In small talk, be sure to bring up questions, run with topics, and throw the ball in such a way as to get them to say something about themselves.</p>
<p>2.) Think about what you'd think of a person if he/she did something to you. The same applies the other way around most of the time. Hence, if you invite someone to an event or treat them like a close friend, their first thought is most likely "wow, a good friend" instead of "creep".</p>
<p>3.) Take a few chances. You need friends but not specific friends. If a few people find you creepy, that's OK. Just be friends with others - you'll get your circle quick enough.</p>
<p>Especially #1 ^....</p>
<p>I like excelblue's advice, all of it is excellent. I have to work on #3 and especially #2. I guess it's all about finding common interest or common ground really.</p>
<p>Find some organization or volunteer activity (one time thing or ongoing) that you are interested in and sign up. You will be around people with similar interests. Once you start hanging around with people at organized events, then it is easier to set up hanging around together at other times as well.</p>
<p>i have the same issue. i have a TON of facebook/acquaintance friends i've met through classes and ec's, people i would stop in the hallway for a quick starbucks run or chat with inbetween classes, but would not actually hang out with them on a personal basis. i probably know most of my class in this manner, but i don't really -know- them all that well. </p>
<p>try not to be TOO serious and all academically-focused when talking with them. questions like "what class are you taking", etc are okay for icebreakers, but if you KEEP talking about that (unless the person is a real nerd that only talks about school) people might start to find you tedious, talking nonstop about classes when they are quite sick of sitting in lecture all day. crack a few jokes, make fun of the professor's toupee, so they find you amusing to be around and hopefully the next time they go out with their friends, they'll remember your stunning sarcastic wit or whatnot and invite you along :)</p>
<p>Find things you have in common with others as you talk to them. Some ideas for common topics are.....music, movies, food, travel, sports, pets, electronics, video games, etc. Once you find something in common you can expand on that, ie. go to a concert together, a movie or play video games. After you have common experiences together it usually takes the friendship to the next level.</p>
<p>@ 4321234</p>
<p>Join student clubs and activities on your campus. Be assertive and speak up. It's easy to make friends with those who share similar interests.</p>
<p>Are you new students who just got to college? Or have you been there a year or more and still having this problem? If you are new, remember that it takes time.</p>
<p>Here is trick. If you have one person to do something with, whether it is hang out, go to dinner, study, whatever---invite a third. You invite that person to join you, and people are always happy to join a little group, always more eager to go out with more than one. </p>
<p>I'm an adult lurking here, but have to tell you that trick has worked for me for years. Social people do it all the time.</p>