Anyone else slightly worried about this?

<p>I'm super worried that I'll come off as such a square. On the Facebook group all everyone talks about is partying and sex...etc (they even said they were throwing one the first night and were going to make friends while drunk!). Personally, I don't enjoy drinking and I don't do the drug thing...I'm pretty conservative when it comes to that type of thing. Also, I'm planning to live in the substance free dorm...so I'll look like even more of a loser. Is anyone else feeling the same way? I just am really focused on my education. I'm a first generation college student and I really want to go to med school and I don't want to screw that up by drinking and partying all the time. :( Help?!?!</p>

<p>I'm going next year as well. Although I am not living in substance free dorms, I won't be much of a hard partier. If you look on our facebook group there is a whole thread for people who don't drink or do drugs. We're not alone!</p>

<p>My son is a freshman this year and loves Oberlin. He chose to live in the first year experience dorm. He has had great first year and loves Oberlin. I don't believe he has been drunk at all (this confirmed by older brother) and I would be shocked if he had done drugs just because of his personality. He just isn't interested at all. I also have not sensed that he has been involved with anyone sexually this year. He still has had a great year, made lots of friends, and feels very connected to the place. </p>

<p>I think that Facebook is a place for people to try on new personnas and I wouldn't necessarily believe everything you read there. I think you will be just fine. Be yourself and you will find others who have the same values that you do.</p>

<p>I agree with shennie. As a student, I haven't smoked or been drunk at Oberlin at all yet. The partiers may be louder, but there are a lot of people that don't participate or do things in moderation or loosened up somewhat. There isn't really pressure either way and I think that the people you end up hanging out with tend to have the same attitudes. You can totally avoid Oberlin's party scene if you want, and all the parties I've been to haven't been that great (granted, it's only been a few). I do know that every year (I think) an upperclassmen throws a party for first years and lots of people did go though I didn't. I highly doubt that on the first night itself tons of new underage freshmen are going to be able to acquire alcohol, plus everyone's parents are still around and you have hall meetings and all that the first day. Actually I've been somewhat monitoring the oberlin 2011 group on facebook and there are some false assumptions here and there, so don't worry too much. But anyway, yay for coming to oberlin! i'm excited to meet all the new first-years next fall. Also, I'm not sure how many freshmen usually live in the substance-free housing, so definitely try and go out to other dorms the first few days to meet people there too (the freshmen dorm barrows is across the quad from barnard).</p>

<p>Hi Shaquita, this is Kriti. I'm in exactly the same situation as you, you ever wrote on my wall about it. I don't think I'll be living in Barnard, though. I know someone else who wants substance free housing (I don't even think she posted on the "people who don't so stuff" thread). A lot of people will be hard partiers, but I've met quite a few people (esp. since I started the IM thread), and a lot of them don't do substances, and don't party. Also, Oberlin being Oberlin, I'm pretty sure there's no peer pressure. No one's going to judge you just because you live in Barnard. And we can be friends! :D. I've been feeling slightly scared too, but it'll be okay!</p>

<p>hey Shaquita, i too am going to Oberlin next year and have been to the facebook group/visited the campus. The girl i stayed with never partied or drank or anything like that, but she still had alot of friends and we had a really fun time regardless. I think Oberlin is a place of acceptance first and foremost, and if you look at the facebook group, there are ALOT of people with your conserns, i wouldn't worry about it, we'll all be ok either way.</p>

<p>I just wanted to say that your concerns are really valid--I think most people come to college with a little bit of worry that they won't "fit in" because of some preference, belief or lifestyle of theirs.</p>

<p>But the good news is, you're going to Oberlin. One of the very best things about Oberlin is its diversity in terms of ways that people express themselves, make friends and have fun. For example, Oberlin isn't a place where the social life is shaped by fraternities/sororities. Everyone has really varied social experiences. Some people have a tight-knit group of friends, others "float" between different friends, others have a lot of friends and acquaintances, and others have a few close friends. I really don't think there are any true-blue loners. </p>

<p>Even though right now it may seem that the dominant freshman culture is based on partying and sex, you will absolutely find your niche with people who share your tastes. You just have to be open-minded and friendly. Plus, who says you only have to be friends with freshmen?! We chilled-out 2nd-years, 3rd-years, 4th-years and 5th-years would love to hang out with you too.</p>

<p>And remember--we're all here to focus on our education. We all got admitted to Oberlin because we're intellectuals and we pursue that. Don't worry and good luck!</p>

<p>I wouldn't read too much into Facebook postings. They will sound much the same for all colleges. Remember: not all Oberlin students are posting there, only a few, and those who choose to spend their time in online social forums may not be representative of the whole campus community of 2,800 students. The ones who are spending long hours studying in the library, or working in the science labs with professors, or practicing their instruments at the Conservatory, or baking bread and granola in the co-ops, or organizing contra dances, may not have as much time or inclination to hang out in Facebook, boasting about their party adventures.</p>

<p>Another online forum you might find interesting is the Oberlin LiveJournal:
<a href="http://community.livejournal.com/oberlin/%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://community.livejournal.com/oberlin/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>Current postings there range from a lost IPOD to a question about which history prof to choose as an adviser to a request for a vocal score of Camelot. It's still not representative, but might give a slightly broader picture of campus life.</p>

<p>Can anyone tell me about the dorms at Oberlin? Our daughter is going there in the fall but probably won't have visited first due to the travel expenses (it's far from us). Is this a terrible idea? Can anyone tell me how she would begin to know which dorm to request if she is artsy, a writer and someone who loves intellectual discussions.</p>

<p>Take a look at the Oberlin website and at the Oberlin Live Journal for a start.</p>

<p>in terms of dorms, you don't necessarily get to choose your dorm. you can choose whether or not you want to live in one of the all freshman dorms, traditional housing, co-ops, or program housing. For the co-ops, you can rank your co-ops in preference of where you want to eat and/or live. For program housing, you apply to a particular program house. Otherwise, you won't be able to choose what dorm you live in as a first-year student.</p>

<p>According to the website (which is a little tricky to navigate...) information for new students will come at the end of the month in the "big book of forms" -- the forms are online (at <a href="http://www.oberlin.edu/newstudents/before/bbof.html)%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.oberlin.edu/newstudents/before/bbof.html)&lt;/a>.
New students will have a variety of choices for housing.</p>

<p>hopeful mom, </p>

<p>From what you say about her, I do not think she will have a hard time finding like-minded friends in any of the available options. The campus is fairly compact, so she will not have a long walk to class from any of them. More information can be found at <a href="http://www.oberlin.edu/reslife/housing/%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.oberlin.edu/reslife/housing/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>There is also some good info at <a href="http://oberwiki.net/Housing%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://oberwiki.net/Housing&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>i agree with what's been said about housing so far. I would probably recommend freshmen dorms since they give you an instant community and there's a large variety of people you can choose to hang out with. However, they do tend to be louder and crazier (though I found that they weren't so awful as some might think). Also, just a note, they will send you the big book of forms in book form (at least, they did that for my year), so you don't need to print the forms out online.</p>

<p>I'd also recommend freshman dorms since it's much easier to make friends. The upper classmen are generally nice, but tend to have their groups of friends already formed.</p>

<p>ShaquitaPack, Have you had a chance yet to read the graduation 2007 speaker, Connie Schultz? She spoke quite a bit about being a first generation student.
Honestly you will be fine. There are many circles of people and no single decision dominates. Some will party, but not all will party. You will find PLENTY of kindred spirits. Do not worry.</p>

<p>HopefulMom, if she's artsy, a writer and likes intellectual discussions, I think she'll find herself at home in just about every dorm! I do recall my D (just graduated) saying that the Freshman Program Dorm (Barrows) was a bit wilder and woolier than the rest, just because kids were a bit hyped up and excited about being freshmen! (First-years, as they call them). As a freshman, she chose differently based on proximity to the food (Dascomb) because she liked to live right in the middle of everything and get up and out quickly in the morning. Dascomb food is blah but she was in the same building as where breakfast was served, so on cold days she didn't have to leave to get it. However, she could eat anywhere on campus, and wasn't restricted to the Dascomb cafeteria. It wasn't the prettiest dorm, by any means; in fact it's kind of shopworn. But its location was convenient and that suited her needs most. Time management was on her mind and this actually helped her deal with it best. She got a nice roommate, and it was never too noisy there. Lots of Conservatory students chose it, since it's right next to the Con. Her floor was all freshman, and the upperclassmen were on other floors. It was a rather surprising choice, since it's not an artsy choice at all. Later she chose a different dorm (Noah) which has more charming wooden bannisters, windows, etc. By senior year she got a super-single at Fairchild which has a nice TV lounge with big comfy chairs and couches on the main floor. Each dorm has its appeal. If I were going there (I'm an alum) today, I'd probably pick Fairchild. Ah well, none of the dorms is "fabulous" and none "terrible" freshman year. Consider the location, therefore, and proximity to food, IMHO. Everybody's nice everywhere.</p>