<p>DD got into her two favorite schools, and is now really torn between them (Oberlin and Westminster Choir college). Anyone else with a child completely divided? </p>
<p>She knows both professors and really likes them both; has friends at both schools, and loves the music program both places. However both offer such different choices: Oberlin is funky and has a really high powered conservatory with so many interesting instrumentalists (viola de gamba, lute. . .). Westminster Choir college has the awesome choirs, small and supportive student body, close to NYC and Philly. Right now Oberlin has a wonderfully large and established department, but Westminster Choir College with the faculty change is starting a lot of wonderful new opportunities!</p>
<p>Anyway, anyone else in this boat? I am sure my daughter will be so happy either place, so I am trying to stay out of it. I know the chairs of both departments, however, and admit it will be personally difficult to turn one of them down!</p>
<p>(and I know we are truly blessed to be in this position, as does dd. Still, she really feels that she also doesn't want to say no to either one of the professors, whom she really admires! She is a serious kid, and this is hard for her!) </p>
<p>We are struggling with a big name school and a smaller school with a lessor name but still a very good school. My kid is thinking he might be happier at the smaller one rather than the big name school but when we tell people what we are thinking they are all surprised. It is a tricky one but I think you just need to go with your gut and time is running out to decide.
When does this stress end! Good for you for keeping out of it. I wish I could report the same.</p>
<p>The title of this thread caught my eye. My current high school senior (not my music major) is in this boat, being pulled in 4 directions (for theater, not music.) My sense is that we will be worrying this issue until April 29th. Just so you know you have company. It seems as if others are able to make their decisions much more quickly!</p>
<p>Good for you for trying to stay out of it! I’m trying to do the same with my D. I don’t completely agree with her rankings, but it’s her college career, not mine, and she has good options. I heard an interesting piece of advice about making decisions. It goes as follows: Make a list of your choices and the pros and cons of each. When you are finished, don’t go back and look at the list. You will already know what choice to make. If it works for your D, let me know:)</p>
<p>My D made her decision on Monday, but she did agonize over it. She really liked several of the professors she took lessons with and they kept in touch with her after her audition. Writing the e-mail note to tell them she would not be joining their studio was very hard. If she could have studied in multiple places at the same time, she would have.</p>
<p>We gave her our thoughts throughout the process, but we left the final decision up to her. In the end, she felt drawn to one school more than the others and that’s where she will be attending. </p>
<p>Good luck! I like the idea of the pros and cons list, maybe it would help!</p>
<p>I don’t know if you’re just venting, but my violist D went to Oberlin and it was an amazing place for her. No regrets. The students, the faculty, winter term, the vibe, the town… She loved it all.</p>
<p>Suzukimom— those are two great options for an organ major. Because of that, if the money is equal…she should indulge in the luxury of “going with her heart”. Congratulations on the wonderful choices she has!</p>
<p>My sympathies to all the agonizers and their families! Both my Ds did the pro-con list, the online research, the campus visits, the coin toss, the magic 8 ball…and still didn’t have an answer until (in one case literally) the final hour. In fact, they both went off for their first semester holding tight to the concept that the could transfer immediately if they hated it.</p>
<p>It’s good to know that we are not the only ones agonizing, although I’m sorry that others are having trouble deciding too. I’m trying to stay out of it, although I did help with the pro/con list. My son will be pursuing a dual degree (music performance and science) and was waitlisted at his first choice school. He has begun to realize how hard it would be to obtain a dual degree at that particular school, so he’s pretty excited about the next two choices. As cellocompmom mentioned, people have a lot to say when they hear that my son is still considering a less prestigious, smaller school as well as the big name, larger university. Both have great things to offer, and both would come down to the same amount of money. The larger school’s professor has really made an effort to contact my son to answer questions and just keep in touch. That is making a big difference as my son hasn’t heard a word from the professor at the smaller school. That’s OK too, but I am noticing the influence. I’ve offered to arrange a return visit, but it appears that it won’t make a difference. He’s been to both schools numerous times. He’s done sample lessons and has attended both music and non-music classes at both schools. Still no decision though. Hang in there. We’re almost done (with this part).</p>
<p>OMG! I am in the same boat! I was going to apply to Oberlin but didn’t for other reasons.</p>
<p>I was happy to be accepted at 4 schools. It took me a long time to narrow down to two
before finally deciding on one. I used to think the pressure of auditioning, applying, meeting teachers, etc, was going to be tough. I was totally unprepared when it came time to decide on which school’s acceptance that I should take. It was a painful process and I must have kind thousands of brain cells in the process. I have not been eating or sleeping well during all this time. </p>
<p>I actually wished that only ONE school accepted me and I didn’t have to go through all this. (JUST KIDDING OF COURSE)</p>
<p>SandraHNL my daughter has said that repeatedly! Last fall, she kept saying “mom, you don’t know I will be accepted anywhere. . .” which was annoying because I know the level of her playing and I knew we had a good mix of safe and reach schools, and the professors at some schools were telling me how much they wanted dd. </p>
<p>Now same dd is telling me how difficult it is and perhaps only one acceptance would have been easier! (I don’t think so!)</p>
<p>Right now merit aid is not equal, but one school is considering the offers she’s had elsewhere, so it may come down to going with her favorite that offers the most aid - which is no small thing. </p>
<p>Was just thinking, if I had to choose between Oberlin and WCC (and she still thinks about Eastman at times, too), I wouldn’t know what to do. These are tough decisions our kids are making, and they would be hard for me, too! Hearing everyone else’s stories helped me see that, so thanks!</p>
<p>And it is good to know we are not alone, and I thank everyone for sharing their stories and their child’s process. (So far making the list of pro’s and con’s hasn’t worked, tho her primary teacher here suggested it!) </p>
<p>Good luck to all of us, and yes, May 1 we will be done!</p>
<p>She should also factor in the weather and location of the two schools, because they are very different! Oberlin is relatively isolated and the weather can be rough, while WCC is closer to NYC and Philly and winters aren’t as bad. And the “vibe” of each school is different too. Did she have a real affinity for one school the moment she was on campus? Did she find the students more interesting and engaging at one as opposed to the other? Get in touch with those “instant feelings” and then as lkbsmama said, get out the the pen and paper and make a good old fashioned list.</p>
<p>I totally understand. My son applied to 8 music schools this year. He was so scared of not having any schools to go to that three of the music schools were safety schools. As he went through the auditions all over the country and faced with couple of rejections or negative feedback, he was truly resigned he may be going to one of his safety schools. I just hoped he would have a school to go to.</p>
<p>When all the results were announced, he was accepted to 6 music schools with sizable scholarships, some of them the most highly ranked in the country. He was faced with the hardest decision he has ever made. It was easy to eliminate the safety school but the last three and then two were so difficult. He slept on it, then he talked to his friends, teachers and mentors, then he slept on it more. Amount of scholarship made it harder since his second choice school offered him such a huge scholarship with an offer of possibly more. I stayed out of it but let him know that the decision has to come from him. I told him to disregard the scholarship information and make the decision only based on the school and the teacher. After that, his decision came relatively easy. He is following his heart and will be attending NEC this fall.</p>
<p>We don’t have a decision yet either. My D knows she has some good choices, but she just isn’t excited by any of them like she thought she would be. To top it off, she is in the pit orchestra for the school musical this week. Thirteen hour days at school + late night homework do not give her time to do a pros/cons analysis for music schools! Hmm, maybe fatigue has something to do with her mood…</p>
<p>D’s choice came down to 2 schools. I had mentioned from the start that I would pay the full ride for either under-grad or grad school - but after putting 3 kids through private lower & HS we needed to be practical!</p>
<p>D got a nice offer from #1 but it would still make a spectacularly expensive 4 years. And #2 school is a state university (with excellent music school) and including scholarships, in-state tuition, etc. it will practically be a free ride…</p>
<p>Both great music schools…but the deciding factors were:</p>
<ul>
<li>input from her excellent vocal instructor (‘because the in-state university has an excellent program, save your $$ for graduate conservatory’) and </li>
<li>a personal phone call from VP professors of our state institution telling D they would take great care of her and her voice and</li>
<li>an invitation to live in the special Music College Dormitory</li>
</ul>
<p>So, decision made on Tuesday, and we are all very happy about it! Glad its over…</p>
<p>Congrats, badblonde and your D! Very wise to consider that grad school will also take $'s, and for classical voice her voice will just be that much more mature by then to take full advantage of the opportunities at that time. Double nice that the VP professors gave her a personal call, and triple bonus about the living situation. Cheers all around!</p>
<p>DD decided finally last night - Westminster Choir College it is. With teacher Alan Morrison, who very helpfully emailed her all last week with more about his ideas for the organ department, and with almost a free ride of merit aid, she is very happy and excited. We both love Oberlin, but they offered the least aid, with even less than Eastman, so it was just too expensive when she loves Westminster, too. Thanks for listening everyone! good luck to all with your own decisions!</p>
<p>There’s a lot to be said for a school that obviously sees your student as an excellent fit by putting their money where their mouth is. Good for them. Great decision. Best of luck!</p>
<p>I am glad we (me, wife and son) are not alone in this. We are waiting to hear final financial packages from his top two choices. Meanwhile, I got a call from his back up school yesterday telling me they goofed up and meant to offer him a nice financial package. In the words of the caller “we really want your son to come here. don’t make any decisions until we get you a number.” I have a feeling there is not going to be a lot of sleeping at our house this weekend.</p>
<p>I can join you. My son was already agonizing a lot over the choice when one of the schools not really in the running dramatically increased his scholarship money. It was enough to put that school (which is considered a top music school) in the running again. The savings would allow us to buy our son a new instrument and have money for at least one year of graduate school. Son is visiting Oberlin and I will be curious to hear what he thinks when he returns this evening. The money versus location thing is going to be a very difficult decision for our son. I am not looking forward to Sunday.</p>