Anyone help me with this essay? (transfer)

<p>I have just finished my transfer essay on why Upenn.</p>

<p>Please help me read it and offer me some advices. (PM me please)</p>

<p>I am an international from a university in China.</p>

<p>Thanks</p>

<p>Ni hao, I will send my email address to your PM inbox, you can email it to me.</p>