Anyone interested in proofreading my UC prompt 1 essay?

Describe the world you come from — for example, your family, community or school — and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

Latex glove water balloons, pre-made “blanket forts,” homemade magic tricks, and placemat paper airplanes were utilized growing up in the world of a Chinese family restaurant. On our constant quests to avoid boredom, my older brother and I would play trivia games with dinner bell buzzers, hide and seek underneath tables, and 3 cup shuffle with teacups and fortune cookies. After school, I would teach myself arithmetic and English, adding menu prices together or learning new vocabulary words of “Chardonnay” or “Zinfandel.” While our only responsibilities as kids were to entertain ourselves and learn in school, my parents had the precarious jobs of understanding a whole new language, making a newfound business succeed, and raising two kids.
My Chinese Korean-born parents immigrated to America to avoid the political instability in Korea and find better opportunities with their families. Their Chinese-born parents, my grandparents, immigrated to Korea with little to no property, seeking refuge during the Chinese Civil War. As a constantly moving family, we’ve struggled to find safety and prosperity in different counties, yet finally settled in America, the rumored land of opportunity.
With a new country at hand, my parents were determined to succeed, and put in 200% effort to understand the new country’s language and customs. While I would learn new vocabulary in school, my parents would also be learning everyday in the restaurant, constantly improving their knowledge of nurturing a business and the English language. After months and months of hard work, we achieved financial stability and a community that supported our newfound business.
Although my world is not filled with free rides and lucky streaks, I’ve gained an unstoppable drive from the world I’ve been raised in. My family’s example has taught me to push myself to achieve whatever I set my mind on, adapt to any unforeseen changes, and be grateful for everything that we have in the world. I’ve applied these ideals to every area I strive to succeed in, whether it be campaigning for ASB presidency, leading my high school’s Asian Cultural Awareness Club, or pushing the ______ High School Badminton team towards victory. My world has peaked my curiosity of the business world and the technical side of running an independent business. From observing my family’s growing restaurant, warm interactions with customers, and high standards of quality, I dream of getting a masters degree in business and starting my own business with the same exceptional standards my parents upheld. I will be one of the first members of my family to achieve a college degree and give back to the world that supported me.
Now as we enter the 30th anniversary of our family restaurant, I know that my parent’s determination has yet to die out. I will continue to work hard for my family and the world that inspired me, being ready for all the fresh challenges college has to offer.

Thanks for your consideration!