Anyone kind enough to read my UC prompt #1 essay?

<p>I know there are grammatical error and wording problems.
You can also critique on my essay !!
Please anyone will be greatly appreciated :)</p>

<p>i can read it</p>

<p>Thank you :) I pmed you</p>

<p>I'm a first year at Cal. I'd be happy to take a look.</p>

<p>Thank you! I pmed you :)</p>

<p>sure. I'd love to! Just PM it to me. I just finished mine too. Do you wanna do an essay exchange? :P</p>

<p>twilight_girl09 I pmed you right now! :) thanks</p>

<p>I'm willing to read it also. :)</p>

<p>I'm also willing! :)</p>

<p>Pm me if you would like, I will look over it.</p>

<p>im an international applicant. i registered the account just several days ago
hmm, i have helped my classmates with their essays
pm me if you want my help</p>