Anyone to take a look at a personal statement?

<p>So, I'm a senior in an American school outside U.S. (from Georgia, to be specific) and I recently wrote a personal statement to apply to US colleges. I had a tutor read it, and I have no doubt in his intellectual potency, and he loved the work. (I've heard him critique others' essays so he wasn't being overly nice and stuff.) He gave some hints which I'm taking into consideration, but I decided to show the essay to my English teacher as well. She said plainly "I don't like it". "They won't understand" or something of that sort. Yet she is just another average person pretty much foreign to me so her opinion matters as well. Is anyone here willing to spare five minutes and take a look, and see weather it's actually horrid or not? It's my seventh attempt due to self-evaluation and I like 90% of it at this point. If you would take the time, I'll send a copy on email or something. Thanks in advance )</p>