Anyone want to check my Carnegie Mellon supplemental essay?

<p>Here's the prompt. </p>

<p>Please submit a one-page, single-spaced essay that explains why you have chosen Carnegie Mellon and your particular major(s), department(s) or program(s). This essay should include the reasons why you've chosen the major(s), any goals or relevant work plans and any other information you would like us to know. Because our admission committees review applicants by college and programs, your essay can impact our final decision. Please do not exceed one page for this essay.</p>

<p>I'm worried that I didn't answer the question fully or well.
Thanks for the future help.</p>

<p>PM me–I can definitely take a look.</p>

<p>[PS: I know my post count is low; I just switched to a new account to unlink a few comments from my name. I can provide you proof that I’ve submitted my own application, if you’d like. :P]</p>