If anyone is interested in giving their advice and constructive criticism, please let me know and I will PM you. Thanks! 
sure PM me and i’ll give some comments.
Be careful offering up your essay; plagiarism is real. Maybe ask a friend from school?
Sure thing! I did this with my friends all the time. TheNoisyZabet makes a good point, but I just finished submitting my EA applications – I’m happy with my essay, and I am so so not about to change it.