<p>Thank you all for your responses. Unfortunately my son tends to suffer silently about things. I hope that he will really stand up for himself if meds don’t seem to be right.etc. and not just be accepting. Good luck to all of you with your children.</p>
<p>Wow, a lot of this sounds like our situation except S is still in HS.</p>
<p>Can I just ask, what specifically do you mean by your child or your family is happier when the child is on medication? Obviously if everything is running more smoothly that is better. But it sounded like some of the kids were unhappy pre-diagnosis. I know there is a 60% co-morbidity with depression and ADD - is this what you are referring to?</p>
<p>arrgghh. My S was diagnosed with EFD in April of his Sr. year of HS. Always took the most rigorous courseload, always had problems with what I called deliverables. Always did HW, just didn’t always turn it in. OK grades, not what we expected. We figured he was the unmotivated smart kid. Ends up he is very high IQ,but has issues with planning and doing work as assigned and turning it in. He always did it, sometimes his way, but often forgot it at home, in his locker, in another book, etc. It drove his AP physics teacher insane, but most of his other teachers understood and accommadated. </p>
<p>S spent the summer working with a therapist close to home. He was out of school by the time he started the sessions and never really got a chance to practice any of the techniques he learned. !st semester college is over and he has a 1.89 GPA. He got an A in one class, dropped one and got D’s in all the others. EFD issues or problems due to partying? I don’t know. His therapist and I tried to get him into therapy at his college but they looked at his high IQ and asked why he needed help. His therapist over the summer did not think he needed meds. </p>
<p>I have to suggest you stay right on top of this. I have tried to get my S back to see his therepist where he was home on break, to no avail. So now I am waiting for him to crash and burn, come home defeated and start all over at a local state school. It is unfortunate, but the college is blowing his EFD off because of his high IQ, S is unwilling to seek help because he is proud and I am going crazy watching my S fail. S thinks he knows how to do better, I am not so sure. …sigh</p>
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Sometimes there’s a big disparity between subtests of the IQ, indicating a Learning Disability that coexists with a high IQ total. It can be very stressful, emotionally, because a bright student uses one very strong ability to cover over the other deficit. The energy to do all that can pull away from the ability to concentrate fully. It’s mighty distracting and depletes mental energy to be compensating constantly inside one’s head for a learning disability. </p>
<p>So to OP, while they are looking for ADHD, perhaps also let them do an adult IQ test that will reveal any gaps in performance v. analytic ability that might constitute a Learning Disability. IIIRC, a 20 point disparity in subtests can classify as a learning disability. Gifted, learning disabled, and ADD can all happen at once, with a child of such good overall intelligence, motivation and character as a student that they don’t “crash” until college.</p>
<p>I honestly believe that there are those in academia (and academic support) who are jealous and mean spirited about the hairy, slouching kid with a stellar IQ. </p>
<p>I’ve also seen some staff nastiness towards a perky blonde from a well to do family. It is some version of “Yeah, righttttt. You have problems” (with very snarky tones). And yet the high IQ kid and the fashionable kid can, indeed have challenges – anything from sleep apnea to depression to ingrown toenails. </p>
<p>So keep researching and keep going back to the doctor (or to new doctors). </p>
<p>We have a friend who is a pharmacist and she says there are some 30 meds that can be brought to bear for ADD issues. If your doc/counselor starts and stops at just one (or just two) then that is a sign that the professional is not up to speed. </p>
<p>We learned that sleep issues can be aggravated by weight gain (that pesky Freshman ten) and by alcohol (something not every high school senior or college freshman wants to discuss with parents). </p>
<p>As for those . . . miserable . . . staff who want to blow off a student’s challenges, there are several topics to discuss: 1) any student who fails reflects poorly on the college.
2) any student who fails has a (some times vocal) family that will hold the college as at least partially responsible and 3) any student who ends up, God Forbid, suicidal, – or murderous, exposes the college to lawsuits and can permanently impact the well being of the college. </p>
<p>One has to be careful, of course, so that a parent doesn’t sabotage an offspring’s college life – but, for heaven’s sake, the mentally ill shooter at VA Tech had an abundantly high IQ. It is in no one’s best interest to have a student failing or feeling abnormal or out-of-touch with what should be fairly happy years. </p>
<p>Mamom, please tell S that no one is brilliant at all aspects of living. The Disney movie “Flubber” (both the 1960’s original and the later version starring Robin Williams) portrays a brilliant professor who stinks at Executive Function. I’ve told my guy that he may be one of many men who can star in a career as long as he hires and appreciates a top notch Executive Secretary. Since he doesn’t (yet) have that sort of staff on hand, he needs as many cheat sheets, tolerant professors, helpful friends and nagging parents as he can get. With strokes to his pride and abundant humor, he is hearing me a little.</p>
<p>By “cheat sheet” I mean reminder lists that say things that most people don’t need to have spelled out – like “set alarm” : )</p>
<p>@mamom: I don’t have any solutions or magic potion or I’d be using them myself. But we understand how crazy you can feel when all the “experts” keep saying nothing is wrong. I often feel like people are watching a penguin and yelling “just flap harder and you can fly – you’re a bird, after all, you lazy thing”. I have no idea what sorts of evaluations/tests S2 has undergone but we get results on Friday. His university had services, but you have to go find them and of course that wasn’t going to happen. He took the same class 3 times and failed it 3 times – wouldn’t you think that would send up some sort of flag? But no, it doesn’t. Advisors get an email “suggesting” they “touch base” with an advisee AFTER they have been put on academic probation (I have friends who are professors) – what good is that? We admire the ashes of the barn once it has burnt down? I consider S2 lucky in that he withdrew before he was put on probation, which saves what good academic progress he did have. </p>
<p>Sigh, indeed.</p>
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LOL. I pushed my S to get university services which he finally tried to do, but then he got the “so what are you doing here?” remark. I will push him to go back when he returns to school and hopefully, they are more helpful.</p>
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<p>Love the analogy.</p>
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<p>I think it can become very depressing when people know they are not able to perform up to their potential. My son said things like “I feel like I can’t think” or “I feel like my brain is always in a fog”. To know him, you would never, in a million years, suspect that he felt that way. The first thing people notice about him is how unbelievably smart he is and his quick wit.</p>
<p>And yet, he felt like he couldn’t get it together (despite good grades). He felt like something was wrong with him and not only did he feel slightly depressed (and anxious) but it undermined his confidence in himself. With a diagnosis, medication and someone telling him he really could do it with the right tools, he seems so much more happy. My personal belief is a lot of depressed, anxious people have undiagnosed issues like ADHD, sleep disorders, etc. and without proper diagnosis and treatment many turn into adults who start to self-medicate with drugs, alcohol and the like. Just getting a diagnosis and realizing you’re not ‘crazy’ can go a long way toward making someone feel better.</p>
<p>This is so timely for us, thank you to everyone for posting. I was just drafting a very long message to my daughter’s psychiatrist detailing the definition of ADD-inattentive and her symptoms. I first brought her to a therapist at our HMO when she was in 7th grade. Transitioning from a one room class in 6th grade to a different room and teacher for each class was a disaster for her. Her A’s slipped to C’s and sometimes lower. Her backpack was a total mess of crushed papers. It was a terrible time, with me getting angry and accusing her of being lazy. She withdrew and was miserable for two years. I made appointments with counselors at school fist, and they kept saying things like, “oh this is a normal phase at this age, nothing to worry about”. When it was apparent she was depressed, we visited the therapist who referred her to the psychiatrist whose only job seemed to be prescribing Prozac. All along they all said this was not unusual behavior and we should just work on organizational skills. I even asked about ADD once, and was told that since she didn’t have trouble sitting still in class and didn’t cause any disturbances in school it didn’t fit the definition. </p>
<p>The Prozac actually seemed to help level the moods out a bit, and sophomore and junior year were not too bad with heroic effort on her part to keep things organized and stay on task. She stopped taking the Prozac mid-way through junior year because she didn’t like the “dull” feeling it gave her. Still, her grades suffered from failure to turn in homework and the inability to study. Now that I have read the definition of ADD-inattentive on wikipedia I see that she fits every single one of the characteristics they list- including feelings of detachment from her peers and low self esteem. I am so angry with all of the “experts” we have sought help from. Not once did they do any sort of test for ADD. My angry letter is demanding that she be evaluated for this condition. Is there a specific test that is used? I suspect the HMO psychiatrist will just reply that “in reviewing the record” they do not find evidence for ADD. My daughter tested in 99th percentile on SAT’s, yet has a B average in even the simplest classes. I don’t know that she would have done better in school with more appropriate intervention, but I’m determined we get this assessed before she heads off to college.</p>
<p>Is it possible for the kids to take the medication as they would a cup of coffee, i.e. just so they can get through a night of studying? I have read that “normal” kids are using the drug this way, but wonder how it works with kids who are suffering from ADD. She already has insomnia, so I don’t thing she would stick with a drug that causes agitation. Well now I have written way too much, but I am just so relieved to find such a good source of information.</p>
<p>A diagnosis of ADHD is really based upon a series of tests and observations. They look at performance on various tests and compare it to the IQ to ascertain if someone is performing on level. My son’s testing took 6 hours. We hired a private counselor who specializes in ADHD. It costs us about $1,500 (wasn’t covered by insurance as we had to meet a deductible).</p>
<p>Don’t let someone tell you that they can diagnose ADHD based upon a computerized test or simply by looking at the academic record and/or behavior. It’s really a matter of looking at the big picture - IQ, performance on tests requiring substained concentration, observations by the person administrating the tests, observations by teachers, etc.</p>
<p>As for medications-as someone pointed out, there are dozens. Some can cause agitation in certain people, while others don’t. It’s a matter of trial and error to find the right one. Sometimes, they don’t even need medication all the time, just during tests. It’s really an individual thing. For example, my son gets better results from Adderall if he reserves it only for tests.</p>
<p>My daughter was diagnosed with ADHD/inattentive by three different psychiatrists/neuropsychologists, based on solely on interviews and questionnaires. We did arrange for a full battery of neuro-psych. tests, following all those providers’ advice, to see what else might be going on, and to tease out what might be ADD and what might be something else. We were told that the part of the testing that tested attention/focus really wasn’t that reliable given the artificiality of the testing situation.</p>
<p>The gap between verbal and performance for our daughter has always bee 20 points, but they tend to look at how you actually do in school as well. Slow processing speed, executive function difficulties, mood disorders, and other possibilities need to be looked at to get a better picture of what is going on. And ADHD is not one thing, we have been told. It is a catchall term.</p>
<p>My DD has a 24 pt difference that was discovered by a school psychologist in the 4th grade, but was not explained to us and we did know any better. She didn’t go through testing with a behavioral psych. until the 7th grade, and we had to then fight three years to get a 504 plan because she wasn’t failing. It was truly a frustating process. You just have to continue to be your child’s advocate.</p>