<p>Here's my pet peeve! Most schools seem to ask applicants where they're applying, usually at the interview. Some even ask on the application! This feels like information that can only hurt an application, especially if you're applying to more than one school. Anybody else concerned about how to reply and whether the AOs trade information between schools?</p>
<p>What we recommended our child say was something like “I haven’t yet made my final decision but I expect that [2 or 3 schools most like the one you’re visiting] will be on the list.”</p>
<p>Don’t worry about AO’s trading information. They’re really just trying to get more information about your thinking and a sense of where they are in the pile. For instance, if you’re applying to the school your brother and sister currently attend they may try to get a sense of whether they’d lose you to that rival school. If you say you want to attend their school because of its rural environment and intimate community they may wonder why the other schools on your list are all large urban schools.</p>
<p>Howard Roark, Search the threads for “Tufts Effect” or pm EXIEMITALUM who is an expert on this topic.</p>
<p>@Sue22: Same approach here for our D. I’d just prefer that she gets a fair shake without too much game theory on the part of the AOs. </p>
<p>@pulsar: Tufts Effect has been my leading theory on this. Thanks for highlighting EXIEMITALUM’s posts!</p>
<p>At the beginning of our process, we gave vague responses, like “We’re really just beginning to explore the options…” More recently, we’ve been giving fairly straight answers…“School X, School Y, and School Z are still on the short list.” Though when my daughter had been asked this in her one on ones, she told me she replied “I really don’t know exactly where I’m applying to yet…” which she really didn’t until just this week.</p>
<p>It’s like playing poker with a full length mirror on the wall behind you.</p>
<p>I just told them a “short list” of mine when I was asked. Idk, I get the feeling that some top boarding schools “horse trade” applicants. When my mom was applying to grad school, she said that grad schools horse traded a lot. That being said, I have no solid evidence supporting the fact that boarding schools “horse trade” applicants. But it seems that one of the reasons they might ask where else you are applying is for “horse trading” purposes.</p>
<p>Some Adcoms ask, and other’s don’t.</p>
<p>Interestingly enough, we’ve been asked at MIT NOT to do this during college interviews. </p>
<p>I used to do it because I often found that a lot of students were applying to boarding schools in a scatter shot approach (i.e. submit a lot of apps and see what sticks) so I gravitated to those students who had a strategy or a specific purpose in mind. There are some who really truly look at a school’s attributes and fit (we like those!!!), and others who look at only “status” or ranking, or prestige. There are others who think boarding schools are one big amorphous blob and one size fits all.</p>
<p>So instead of asking “what schools are you applying to” I now try to ask what specific attributes of Exeter landed the school on the list (you would be surprised how many students can’t answer that question because their parents, not the student, are pushing the process).</p>
<p>However - I suspect some BS Adcom’s might want to know - if this is a truly competitive student - who the school’s competition will be. That might increase their desire to woo an applicant a bit harder or provide attractive aid of applicable. But frankly, if the student is really desired, schools do that anyway even without the extra info.</p>
<ul>
<li>or - If the student is clearly not a fit but is viable for another school, sometimes an Adcom can hint at alternatives that might be a closer match. Depends on the demeanor of the parent or the student. Some people don’t want to hear that information - which is sad since the time to “strike” is before a deadline, rather than the post-rejection scramble that sometimes takes place.</li>
</ul>
<p>But let me repeat - Adcoms DO NOT compare lists with Adcoms from other schools, nor do they make calls on your behalf without asking your permission first. Just not enough time in the day, too many applicants, and too many legal issues to be bothered. Rest assured - your application is confidential. Even in the old days when I did ask the question, the answer and names of the other schools never went into the official report. Each candidate stands on their own merits. I can say this having sat on both sides of the “table.”</p>
<p>Our second son was doing his first interview at school I did not think would be the right place for him. Actually I felt they were trying harder in selling the school to me rather him. In all honesty it was to get his feet wet with an interview. The AO did get out of him where his brother was currently attending and one can easily sense from her that was a very feasible school for him, if not for the AO herself. As we were literally walking out the door the AO asked where else we were looking and when we mentioned the name of a third school she lit up like a Christmas tree. Meeting her obvious approval was the highlight or insight of the day. He ended up at that third school much to the chagrin of his older brother but man what an incredible journey thus far (fit). So, if an AO asks, I have no problem in hearing their thoughts, reactions or free advice.</p>
<p>Parents don’t be suspicious about AOs motives–most of them do care about “fit” and this question is not out of line with trying to ascertain another bit of information in that regard. Remember–admissions is only the start. Your kid’s potential experience at that school is much more significant. If the school is the right choice for the kid–great; if they get in, but the school isn’t right, it can be a very rocky road for the student and parents (trust me!!)</p>
<p>@Exie: “I now try to ask what specific attributes of Exeter landed the school on the list (you would be surprised how many students can’t answer that question because their parents, not the student, are pushing the process).” I’m shocked that more AOs don’t seem to do this. My D interviewed at 10 schools and I can’t recall her being asked. I thought it would be the first question!</p>
<p>Last year, my S completed 10 apps, but only one of them asked him to which other schools he was applying. For better or worse, he answered the question honestly. His list included the biggies: HADES et al. Once he answered the question, I felt in my gut that this school (which was not HADES) wouldn’t accepted him. In fact, this school was the only BS to reject him. </p>
<p>I understand why BS’s ask this Q; still, it is pitiful and shows weakness by the school. As I look back on last year, I should have made my son drop his app to the school in question once I saw that miserable inquiry. Any school that makes a kid answer in writing this Q is a school probably not worth attending. That school fears its competition and signals it can’t compete with the best BS’s.</p>
<p>We’ve finished the visits & interviews. My son reports that all the interviewers asked this question. These are the best schools. I’ve passed through a learning phase, a cynical phase, and now, maybe I’m in the burnout phase of prep school search parenting. Or perhaps it’s the Que sera sera phase. It’s possible to overthink these things. </p>
<p>At this point, it feels more like a good conversational ice breaker. Many adults will say something like, “Oh, you’re in 8th grade already? Are you looking at schools? What schools are you applying to?” I assume it’s a question which gets things rolling.</p>
<p>In the past two years, some things have changed in the visit process. Most schools had online inquiry forms, so there were far fewer papers to fill out while waiting for a tour or interview. This is a good thing, as only my husband can boast of beautiful handwriting. As my son filled out the forms online, I’m not sure if they asked for a list of schools. My role was limited to trying to track down ancestors’ birth dates and paying registration fees.</p>
<p>It could be an ice breaker or a deal breaker.</p>
<p>I agree w/Pulsar. I was asked this Q @ all 5 schools. I was honest w/ the top 3 and simply said I would be happy at any of them. For my safety schools, I just said I<code>m not sure and as it turned out, I dropped one of those schools from my list. I just finished my 4 apps. One is a reach, two are targets and one is a safety. Honestly, I</code>ll be happy at any of them.</p>