Appeal Advice & Revision Help

Colleges and Universities A-Z University of Washington
1

Hey all-

I was waitlisted and because UW is my dream school and top pick, I have written an appeal but would like some input or advice if possible! I know it is not the best, and my writing is very confusing and I have quite a few run-ons often, but I find it difficult to revise and replace. I find it hard to look at my writing with fresh eyes and decide on how to change/fix my issues. Thank you in advance!!!
GPA: 3.6
ACT: 31
SAT: 1390
Accepted into Husky Marching Band recently.
Extracurriculars: Marching Band Section Leader, Jazz Band, COPE (Swedish Hospital Volunteer), Altar Service @ Church, Mission Trip

My name is x and I am currently a senior at x High School, waitlisted for the autumn quarter of 2018. In spite of the fact that I have full faith in the Admissions Office’s decision-making processes, I feel deeply obligated to reach out and request a reconsideration of my qualifications and my possible prospective role at the University of Washington.

Although I was heavy-hearted with the waitlist notification, I remained optimistic. I made contact with Director McDavid, expressing my wholehearted interest in the Husky Marching Band. I was offered an audition and later informed of my position in the alto saxophone section! Simply by practicing the marching band anthems and fight songs, I feel a stronger sense of pride and attachment to the University of Washington than I have for my high school.

For many years, I dreamt of being a part of the Seattle campus that is so enriched by many like-minded students and faculty who are dedicated to community growth and unity. Although I spent hours touring and exploring many other universities that catered to my interests, it became clear to me that the University of Washington was the only school capable of bringing out my full potential. The endless support and warmth that exudes from both the staff and students, coupled with the innumerable opportunities offered in all departments, quickly ranked University of Washington as my top pick by far. However, growing up in the circumstances I have faced and experiencing the setbacks that have challenged my academic performance, I believe that what I have lacked during my high school career can be made up for, as I have matured and grown from the past.

At the young age of seven years old, I was forced to say goodbye to my older half-sister, who was my best friend and carer. Due to instability and emotional turmoil in my family, estrangements with family members were common and occurred often. With a limited understanding of the situations at hand, I struggled to adjust to the frequent loss of familiarity. By the time I was a freshman in high school, my half-sister was a mere stranger to me, not having been able to speak to her in years. Arguments and verbal attacks kept the house all but silent, and my concentration with studying proved to become more difficult the more I stayed home. I already grappled with my classes and grades due to the distractions from my family, but as soon as finances presented itself as another problem within my household, I took it upon myself to work a part time job and partake in paying bills in order to ease tensions. The massive responsibility of work and school took a toll on my GPA, although I slowly began to adjust myself and learn to balance my priorities. Now, I can look back on all of these hardships and highlight the resilience I have gained and the skills I have learned to aid me in the future on my journey beyond high school. Being away from home and having a better sense of prioritization will allow me to succeed at UW. I have fallen deeply in love with the study of life, therefore sparking an exciting and genuine interest in school. Despite the fact that many of my senior class peers have been coasting with schoolwork during the second semester, I still strive to raise my grades so that I do not lose sight of my number one goal of enrolling into my dream school.

In my strongest belief, the University of Washington is where I belong, and I am completely dedicated to striving for excellence as a community member and as a student of such a prestigious and boundless institution. I will be fully committed to achieving my dreams and performing to the best of my abilities as a Husky, as I cannot see myself anywhere else but at the heart of Seattle on University of Washington campus.

2

Hey there! So when I read your appeal, I thought it was actually pretty good. If you want me to go through and correct things like grammar and awkward sentences, I definitely will. However, the biggest issue with your appeal is what isn’t there. To me, you did not outline a specific reason why you need to be at UW and why you need to be in Seattle at this time. Yes, you explained low academics, and yes you feel a connection to UW campus. If the admissions team were to let every kid in with a connection to UW, they would have let thousands of kids in.
On the appeal info page on UW’s website, they emphasize that you need to explain why you need to be at UW campus in Seattle at this time (straight up bolded and italicized if I remember correctly). Finding that reason is going to be the way you get in. For me, it was my dads medical treatment and that my other school options don’t provide what I’m looking for anymore in regards to academics. Find a solid, logical reason why you need to be at the UW Seattle campus, and your appeal would be better.
Another thing that I had to work on in my appeal too. Take any forms of negativity and make them positive. Do not use anything as an excuse, but rather word them as explanations for lower grades. Make sure you acknowledge that at the end, lower academics fall on your shoulders. One sentence that rubbed me the wrong way was “despite the fact that many of my senior class peers have been coasting with schoolwork during the second semester…”. It’s negative, it’s arrogant, and it puts down your fellow classmates. If I were you, I would remove all mention of other students (unless 100% relevant) and focus on how you have improved in relation to other students or yourself. Has your GPA risen recently? Have you jumped in class rankings? Use that rather than that sentence.
Speaking of improvements, you are going to want to show UW that you have improved somehow. Start with the numbers. Has your GPA, class ranking, or test scores improved since applying? If the numbers are of no sigificant difference, then have you been working hard to be a dedicated community member, even more so than before? You need to show UW that you are trying to improve even with the disappointment of waitlisting.
I know I just wrote an essay in response to a pretty good letter, but I just want to make sure you succeed in your appeal, or put up a good enough fight. If you need any further help with your appeal, message me!
Good luck on your appeal!

3

“I love UW!” is a very vague reason to admit you. Being interested in the “quality of all departments” doesn’t specifically match you to UW versus other schools.

Think harder about what you can bring to UWS and what only UWS can offer you. Your dedication to auditioning to the Husky band is great, but is there anything academic perhaps?

The other thing to consider is that an appeal letter can have a letter of recommendation from a teacher or counselor. If there is someone at your school who will sing your academic and extracurricular praises, use that option.

4

@alexiabrown: I hope that you are admitted to the University of Washington–Seattle.

Your appeal letter is sincere & well written–although a slight bit lengthy.

If you live nearby, I would consider hand delivering your written statement to the admissions office in addition to sending a copy via email.

5

Think of it another way. Replace “school” with “guy” :slight_smile:

Although I was heavy-hearted to be put on this guy’s girly waitlist, I remained optimistic. I made contact with his mom, expressing my wholehearted interest in this guy and finally getting a date with him. I was offered an audition and later informed of a 15 minute date with him at Burger King! Simply by practicing my charm and eye-batting, I feel a stronger sense of pride and attachment to this guy than I have for him in high school.

There are lot of schools to choose from. It’s like dating. Practicality comes first, soulmate comes much later.

6

@psoriasis Hello! I took a lot of your advice and added in more about what I can offer to the school and touched on why I needed to be at UW at this time. I took a few parts out and put in a more self-oriented reflection and positive perspective into the letter. However, it is a bit lengthier now at around 767 words. Thank you for your help and if you’re willing to look it over before I submit it, it would be super appreciated!

7

@alexiabrown im very willing to look it over for you!

8

@alexiabrown I apparently need 15 posts to message you and I’m not allowed to share any other form of communication, so if you can message would you please message me?

9

@Psoriasis Well, it looks like I can’t message either :frowning: Unfortunately I only have 2 posts so I will just post it here in this comment if you don’t mind! I made a few grammatical changes, switched out some word choice, and added a few points. Thank you so much in advance, this means a lot to me!!!

To Whom It May Concern:

My name is x and I am currently a senior at x High School, waitlisted for the autumn quarter of 2018. In spite of the fact that I have full faith in the accuracy of the Admissions Office’s decision-making process, I feel deeply obligated to reach out and request a reconsideration of my qualifications and my prospective role at the University of Washington.

Although I was heavy-hearted with the waitlist notification, I remain optimistic. I made contact with Director McDavid, expressing my acute interest in the Husky Marching Band. I was ecstatic to be offered an audition and later informed of my position in the alto saxophone section! Simply by practicing the marching band anthems and fight songs, I developed an even stronger sense of pride and attachment to the University of Washington. To be accepted into the music department and contribute to school functions set me in a trance, further encouraging my interest in UW.

For many years, I have dreamt of being a part of the Seattle campus that is so enriched by myriad like-minded students and faculty who are dedicated to community growth and unity. Although I have spent hours touring and exploring many other universities that catered to my interests, it became clear to me that the University of Washington is the only school capable of truly fostering my full potential. The endless support and warmth that exudes from both the staff and students coupled with the innumerable opportunities offered in all departments, cemented the University of Washington as my ideal college. However, growing up in the circumstances I have faced and experiencing the setbacks that have continuously challenged my academic performance, I believe that what I have lacked during my high school career can be reconciled, as I have matured and grown significantly as a result of my tribulations.

At the vulnerable age of seven years old, I was forced to say goodbye to my older half-sister, who was my best friend and role model. Due to instability and emotional turmoil in my family, estrangements with family members were common. With a limited understanding of the situations at hand, I struggled to adjust to the frequent loss of familiarity. By the time I was a freshman in high school, my half-sister was a stranger to me, as I had not been able to speak to her in years. Arguments and verbal attacks kept the house all but silent, and my concentration with studying proved to become increasingly difficult the more I stayed home. As I grappled with schoolwork from home issues, finances presented itself as another problem within my household. In an attempt to ease tensions within my family, I started my first job in junior and worked part-time to help pay the bills. The massive responsibility of balancing work and school took a toll on my GPA, but I slowly began to adjust myself and learned to address my priorities. Now, I can look back on all of these hardships and utilize the resilience I have gained and my learned skills to aid me in the future on my journey beyond high school. Being away from home and having a better sense of prioritization will allow me to succeed at UW, especially within the Living Learning Communities. At the same time, being close enough to return home every weekend will allow me to ensure that my younger brother will have the opportunity to acclimate to being the only child at home, and that I can continue my volunteering at Swedish Hospital in Seattle. I have fallen deeply in love with biology and medicine, sparking an exciting and genuine interest in collegiate academia. I strive to raise my grades so that I do not lose sight of my paramount goal of enrolling in my dream school. Among the 46,000 students at UW, I plan to set myself apart by bringing my accomplishments along with my empathetic perspective of recovery and improvement. My open-mindedness and broad sense of problem solving will aid me in bringing a deeper connection within student bodies and building a strong relationship between scholars and education itself.

In my strongest belief, the University of Washington is where I belong. I am completely dedicated to striving for excellence as a community member and student of such a prestigious and boundless institution. I will be fully committed to achieving my dreams and performing to the best of my abilities as a Husky, for I cannot see myself anywhere else but at the heart of Seattle on the University of Washington campus.

Sincerely,

x

10

@alexiabrown this forum isn’t working I s2g

11

@Psoriasis Also!! Quite a silly question- I have been browsing through other posts about appeal letters; should my letter be double spaced? And do you think giving a physical copy to the Admissions Office in person will really increase my chances? Thank you so much!

12

@alexiabrown wooo!! This letter is much better than the original. This letter is beautifully written and provides not only a reason why you need UW, but also why UW needs you. It’s extremely good, and I say you are ready to submit!

Side notes: make sure you submit your best letter of recommendation, even though it’s optional. Also, if you have taken running start courses send in an official transcript with your appeal.

Good luck on your appeal!

13

@alexiabrown when you copy your letter into the appeal box on the website, it removes all formatting, so double spacing isn’t needed. Just make sure there’s spaces between paragraphs, and you’re good!

About walking in, I don’t think it would help. They have your appeal already, and because of the amount of kids that do come in to hand deliver things the school has started getting annoyed with it.

Good questions!

14

@Psoriasis Okay!!! I’m going to submit it now, thank you so much for your help and input! The Marching Band Director of UW already submitted his letter of rec to the admissions office directly, so I think I will refrain from submitting another one (also because my teachers only submitted them in common app :((

15

Hey, it says that you have submitted your letter today. Best of luck! This afternoon, I got word back that my appeal had been accepted, so I will be attending this fall. Hopefully, you will be as well! Your letter is well written and I think mentioning the Husky Marching Band was a great idea. One of the things that I think really helped me was to talk about some of the clubs and organizations on campus. I hope you update us on how it goes!

16

@sicksadworld Hey congrats!!! Thank you for the input. I know my stats aren’t all that great but hopefully my effort will be regarded and I’ll have a shot. It’s a gut wrenching wait for sure!

17

@alexiabrown : I do hope that you are admitted to UW-Seattle, but the second version of your appeal letter is not as good as your first effort.

In the second attempt you misuse words & compound your initial mistake of unnecessary length. The length presents you as a bit of a complainer & it waters down the sincerity found in the prior version–which was already too long & in need of editing. Nevertheless, the band director’s recommendation & support may be enough to get you admitted.

I hope that receive good news soon !

P.S. Although you have already submitted your appeal letter, I responded in an effort to encourage you to use the resources of any writing center which is available to you.

18

@alexiabrown have you heard back yet?

19

@Psoriasis No, not yet. :frowning:

20

@Psoriasis I GOT IN!!! I’ve been crying and sobbing for like five minutes before I could tell anyone else! Thank you so much for your help!!!