<p>
Then maybe he needs to look at some place that is more in line with his learning style. I’m not seeing Earlham as a good fit no matter how much he likes it.</p>
<p>Agree with Thumper on the age, I mentioned that on a previous thread. At age 23 he is out-aging the general population of Earlham and a college with a stronger age peer group might be better in the long run. Young people who have been in the workforce for several years and are now in college at age 24 or older have a very different attitude than 18-20 year olds, especially males. I can’t speak to colleges and universities with regard to auditory vs. visual learning - seems to be that may vary by major more than by college or university, but I could be wrong. It springs to mind that hands on learning tilts stronger toward professional and technical education more than a liberal arts curriculum.</p>
<p>I agree with the suggestion to go to work first. Come back 3-5 years later.
It’s more likely he will fail again if he continues. He cannot absorb much now.</p>
<p>My son left a small LAC for after 3 years (including two semesters on leave by his choice) and ended up enrolling at a large state university. We were convinced was huge mistake but not at all! In fact, he has found that professors there more accessible and more willing to be helpful than the LAC. Is doing very well academically and that has been huge boost to confidence as well.<br>
So please look at your local universities; there is often much more there than expected. He is also on older side and yet huge range of ages (many veterans for example) on campus so not uncomfortable at all. Best of luck!</p>
<p>I don’t know about the OPs circle of friends, but in my circle of friends - all college educated and successful - we have had a plethora of things happen with our kids - from the kids that head off and suddenly 4 years later are graduating to kids that start and stop and switch schools, to kids that start and stop and take more entrepreneurial routes never to (or not yet anyway) achieve degrees to kids that flunk out twice, go to work and years later graduate. I don’t think there is a sole in our group who ‘thinks’ this has anything to do with parenting. No one can ‘predict’ what will happen to kids when they leave home at 18. So if the OP’s haste in wanting her son back in college is a result of some kind of perception about parenting skills or because the belief is “good kids from good families” go to college and graduate in four years…my advice is let it go now. And after watching a few friends with their kids bouncing around figuring themselves out, my second piece of unsolicited advice is to let him figure out the next step and the step after that and the step after that. Wait until he asks you for help. He’s had at 5 years after age 18 with parental guidance and it isn’t working for HIM so perhaps let him take the lead. </p>
<p>Thank you for all your responses. (Madison, I recognized the chair. Graduated from there many moons ago!) I realize that each of us understands our own situations the best. I will let my son continue his fight for as long as he wants. At the same time he is applying for jobs throughout the country and is preparing himself for whatever comes next. He’s 23 and his life is up to him. </p>
<p>My son took a different route after high school. He attended a CC and left before the first semester ended. He is 20 now, works full time, has his own car, pays for his insurance and phone. We haven’t started charging rent, yet. It took me some time to get used to it, and not be embarrassed that he was not going to college. In hindsight, that seems silly now. He is a bright young man, and he will find his way. Different drummer, different paths. OP, I wish you and your son well. </p>
<p>Op, I don’t think it’s selfish that you want offspring to be a productive, self-supporting adult. I don’t think anyone has children with the hope that they will graduate college then continue living with parents! Some “kids” are better at self-support than others, and some parents encourage it more than others. Some are content to let young adults live in parents’ home, much like they did when they were 12.
I have to agree w the majority here that he needs to move on from Earlham. The tone of your posts make it sound like you feel the college that desires such unique kids has shortchanged your son. There are many reasons(excuses?) why student has repeatedly done poorly in college.This smart kid that has had so much trouble in classes he says are boring needs to learn attending them and doing one’s best is part of life, even if it isn’t exciting. He doesn’t have to like it, but he has to do it. Not all education is in the classroom, and this fellow needs to learn he can’t succeed college by skipping classes. If there is some disability that prevents him from attending class, then I recommend he seek a different career path.</p>