Agree with mom2, absolutely decide on a number and plan on going if they meet it. Attended a workshop with my mom and they said if you have a specific number in mind that will make it affordable, propose it and see what they say. They seemed to think about 3 or 4k is doable, more than that unlikely.
Parents should call, kids do not have all the info.
I wish we had gotten better advice from our GC. @mom2collegekids I wish I had known about CC back then, as your advice makes a lot of sense.
H met with a financial aid officer just after he dropped S off at an accepted student’s visit. The HS guidance counsellor told us that virtually every school that gives aid will negotiate it, as long as you just ask. Since finances are strained in our household, S understood going in to visit the first school that he needed better aid if he were going to go there.
At the time, I had just incurred additional significant medical expenses, well beyond what we anticipated when S first applied for financial aid. So H went in to explain our family situation, and he explained it to them that he would be providing this information to both schools under consideration. S visited the second shool the following week, and DH had already talked with them by phone.
Both schools eventually gave additional aid, and S made his decision based on his visits. He said the dept faculty in his major were more open to undergrads. I wonder if he was more open to that school since he went in to the accepted students visit knowing that financial aid was initially better, but I am glad he has been happy there.
When he decided, about a week before the 5/1 decision day, my son wrote a nice email to the other school thanking them for their offer. He explained that while the decision was difficult, he wanted to let them know he was declining so that they could use those funds for another deserving student. At the time, my son thought my husband should write the apology to the FA director since he met with them about it.
This all went down over the course of just a few weeks, and it was a very stressful time, since the window between acceptances, getting financial aid letters, accepted student visits, and the 5/1 decision date is so condensed, all at a time when my son was studying for 4 AP tests in early May.
We will always appreciate him for telling us that financial aid was virtually always negotiable, and for his recommendation letters. But what does everyone else think about the guidance counsellor’s advice that the father should call if we are dealing with a male FA officer, but the mother should call if there is a woman?
^1950s
I think you should assume that someone with budget responsibility working in a college financial aid office (in the US, not in Afghanistan) will use professional judgement in evaluating aid appeals, not resort to stereotypes or wacky theories. What if your aid professional (male) tells you that he needs to take your case up the line, and that he’s putting his boss, the head of financial aid (female) on the phone? Do you hang up because you’ve got the wrong gendered parent handling the appeal?
It is a significant stretch to say that financial aid is “virtually always negotiable”. Every college will review your aid if they have made a calculation error; if you have input the wrong information or have an old estimate which has been corrected by new, accurate information. That’s not negotiating- that’s acting in good faith. There are a lot of colleges where if you call to tell them you got a better deal someplace else will be happy to congratulate you on your good fortune and wish you luck at the other college.
There’s no way my H or S will do a better job at discussing financial aid, so it would always be me in this situation. My clients are about 50/50 on whether the husband/wife brings in the info. That would never factor into my actions and I don’t think it would for f/a either.
Unless there is a language barrier for parents, I can’t imagine the 18 year old student being as knowlegable about finances and expecting them to make this call. I’m all for establishing and working on independence, but those huge college bills are addressed to parents!
Actually, my kids don’t get bills in the mail (nor do I). The bills are on their college email accounts, and they have to give me the password if they want them to be paid.
I think the male/female instruction is ridiculous. I am the only parent, and I’ve spoken to male and female FA officers. Some are knowledgeable, others don’t seem to have a clue, but I don’t think anyone has ever given me the wrong information or dismissed me because I am female. I think the parent who is the most knowledgeable about financial aid and the family finances should make the call or make an appointment.
As to the 1950s advice have whoever is the better negotiator/knowledge or likeable do it is one theory. Assuming both parents are equal, I am not sure. My brothers elementary school has a lot of parent involvement, mostly the moms however when it is something “serious” it is the dads. It irritates the heck out of my mom