<p>By all means, apply to Chicago behind your parents’ backs. Just make sure that you have figured out how to pay for it behind your parents’ backs, too.</p>
<p>If not, make sure you’re prepared for them to have changed the rules of the game behind your back. While you’re trying to change the rules so that they’ll have to pay for you to go to Chicago, they may be deciding that they’re really not willing to pay for anything but a community college, to which you commute daily from their home. I would think that would be completely unfair of them under ordinary circumstances, but if it’s okay for you to try to change the ground rules unilaterally then I guess it would be okay for them to change the ground rules unilaterally too.</p>
<p>I dont understand. How does applying to U of C (which I do not recommend doing secretly) force his parents to pay for it, assuming he is not applying ED? Its an application, a few of hours of time (depending on how fast he can write the essays,0 and maybe 50 or 75 bucks for an app fee. Then at most he gets a letter saying “youve been accepted” My DD was accepted by three schools. She is only going to attend one of them. I will be damned if I pay a penny more to the schools she is NOT going to be attending ;)</p>
<p>Thank you parents. I posted this thread because I wanted to see what other parents would think of my situation and i felt i needed some outside ideas on the issue. I appreciate all the feedback I’ve gotten and all the helpful comments. To be honest, I really ( maybe stupidly) thought that if I applied secretly, paying for my app fees and everything, then got in; it wouldn’t show disrespect, just initiative and that I was responsible and independent. ( i’m not being sarcastic, I really thought that.) But, you know, after reading these comments, I’ve realized that secrecy is a terrible idea and i genuinely thank you for keeping me from making a bad decision. After much thought, I’ve decided that I will NOT apply to the University of Chicago. I mean, it’s just college, nothing to ruin a relationship over. Thank you. and please no more of </p>
<p>"If not, make sure you’re prepared for them to have changed the rules of the game behind your back. While you’re trying to change the rules so that they’ll have to pay for you to go to Chicago, they may be deciding that they’re really not willing to pay for anything but a community college, to which you commute daily from their home. I would think that would be completely unfair of them under ordinary circumstances, but if it’s okay for you to try to change the ground rules unilaterally then I guess it would be okay for them to change the ground rules unilaterally too. "</p>
<p>While, I understand and agree, in retrospect that applying in secret is, spoiled and selfish and bratty and know I do deserve your censure. Comments like this do hurt. I’m sorry for wasting your time. thank you.</p>
<p>If you want to get away from your parents, CMU and Pitts will be far enough that they cannot be helicoptered in on a moments notice. :)</p>
<p>I assume you live in s. NJ, Del or Phily suburbs.</p>
<p>No one’s thrown this out, but Swarthmore is similar in many ways to Chicago (in terms of intellectual-ness and vibe and so on) and I believe it falls within the radius the OP’s parents stated. Just a thought - many students at Swat said they considered Chicago and vice versa. Good luck!</p>
<p>True artsloverplus; I’ve decided on Pitt. I’m not really excited about it…yet. But, I’m visiting it soon so we’ll see…</p>
<p>Oh and I live in Northeast PA… so…</p>
<p>NE, Pa… Humm.,… What about Shawnee, Jack Frost, Big Boulder and Camelback? ok, ok… wrong forum… :)</p>
<p>Seriously, check out Hamilton and Colgate…</p>
<p>nil–
Ask your parents to expand their radius to include direct flights, and tell them that having the money in the bank for a last minute ticket would get them to you (or you to them) quicker than driving several hours.</p>
<p>I also believe there is value is saying for several weeks “I really, really, REALLY want to go to Stanford”, and then ‘compromising’ to Chicago. Behavorial negotiation researchers refer to the process as framing and anchor adjustment…</p>