Applying to college is NOT a competition!

[tk21769]

One of my kids worked a summer job along with a few friends this year. She left after school started, but a good friend stayed and works mainly weekends. The manager was very nice and got along well with the teen employees.

My daughter thought about asking him to write a LOR, but ended up not needing it. Her friend who stayed asked, and he said he’d gladly write one IF she promised not to use it for a highly selective school where his daughter is applying. She can use it anywhere else, but not the school where he sees her as being “the competition.” What kind of a message is this to send to a young person (who happens to be a great employee)?

The manager has a conflict of interest. He’s being honest in disclosing it. He’s trusting the student not to use it on his own daughter’s target school. He could have just flatly refused to write any LOR at all. How will his D feel if she is rejected and the employee who received Dad’s glowing recommendation gets in?