<p>Has anyone been through this experience? Especially in regards to dealing with a school where one has been accepted and the other waitlisted (or had not yet heard from their respective program). Any luck in trying to swing probabilities in your favor?</p>
<p>What do you mean by "swing probabilities"? Are you talking about letting the school know about an accepted SO?</p>
<p>I was lucky enough to avoid the situation you're talking about, but I just wanted to send my sympathies. The two-body problem is tough to solve.</p>
<p>If you think that's tough, try solving the three-body problem. <tongue in="" cheek=""></tongue></p>
<p>Los - yes, something to that effect. I'm wondering if anyone has had success with using one person's acceptance to try to get the other one off the waitlist.</p>
<p>Ok...guess I can't hide it anymore...I'm coming back on a limited basis...</p>
<p>I know a couple (now married and in tenure track positions) who had to go to separate schools for their MS degrees, but were able to be at the same university for their PhD onward (including post-docs). </p>
<p>I know another married couple who are living in different states finishing up their MS degrees at different institutions, it is not uncommon. It is rough, as they only get to see each other every 3 or 4 months, but they seem to be weathering the storm as well as can be expected.</p>
<p>You can bargain for positions after graduate school (such as the post-docs and lab positions), but I would avoid making a fuss for graduate school itself. That is not the foot you want to start out on in the beginning of your graduate studies. If you have to have one opt out for a masters at one school while applying to get admitted to the school with the other, that may be the best route. That way, the other would have time to beef up research and other credentials to be a stronger admit.</p>
<p>Well, unfortunately, we are going for PhD programs (~4-6 years) and taking time off is not an option (would negatively affect my SO's chances of getting admitted later on--people in that field don't take time off).</p>
<p>If you read what I said, I didn't say to take time off. I said to take two years in separate cities for an MS degree and then opt out to apply to the same school. That way you get time to built your academic resume on both ends and have a greater chance to be admitted to the same school. </p>
<p>I've done the LDR thing, it works if you want to make it work. My fiance and I did it for 2 years and are now getting married in a month. It sucks, but is doable, especially if you both have your hearts set on advanced degrees.</p>
<p>straight to the doctorate. I don't see any validity to the masters adding credibility really. Nice thought but I don't see it.</p>
<p>I'm involved in support (real estate) of the recruitment of faculty to UCLA. The two-body problem doesn't go away once you have your PhD's. UCLA lost a candidate for Chancellor when neither of the requisite departments would offer a position to the candidate's spouse. Similar difficulties occur at less august levels.</p>
<p>For engineers, the MS gives a nice salary boost. It also exposes the student to new areas that undergrads haven't really heard of.</p>
<p>forestbrook, are you and your SO applying to the same dept?
It won't hurt to ask; try sending that info along with some other updates.</p>
<p>No, different, fairly unrelated departments. I'm wondering whether it's better to contact my SO's department (waitlisted) or go through mine.</p>
<p>For the SO, an MS is not a good idea (would probably actually hurt more than help when applying for PhD programs later on).</p>
<p>
[quote]
he two-body problem doesn't go away once you have your PhD's. UCLA lost a candidate for Chancellor when neither of the requisite departments would offer a position to the candidate's spouse.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Yes, I understand this, the only people I've seen be truly successful in getting their sig other hired is when they are in the same department and they are able to hire the sig other a faculty (or researcher) position that will open up within the next couple of years to attract their #1 candidate. I know many of unsuccessful couples as well.</p>
<p>I was naive to think the OP and his/her SO were in the same department. I wouldn't even mention it to my department if I were you, it can put you in a very awkward position. It would seem whiny if I were the committee looking over the supplemental material if you mention 'well, my SO got in, so please let me in as well and here's why'. Just have him/her give supplemental info that shows interest and commitment to the particular program, they may look down upon him/her trying to persuade them based on relationship status.</p>
<p>If my understanding is correct you have already been accepted and your SO is on the waitlist. If that is the case, I am not sure I agree with ophiolite's suggestion not to say anything. </p>
<p>Once you are accepted to a program, they are usually pretty enthusiatic about actually getting you to come to their school (especially at the PHD level). I don't think it would be a problem to contact your department (having already been accepted) and say look I really want to come, but here is the problem... Obviously you would have to be very tactful and cautious about how you say things so as not to put yourself in an akward situation if indeed you do decide to matriculate at this school. See what they say and ask them if it is appropriate for your SO to contact her department. Just make sure you present it as though you are looking for advice / suggestions from the department rather than as some kind of ultimatum.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, I don't know whether or not this will make any difference - but it is probably the approach I would take...hopefully it won't be an issue for me because my SO probably won't be applying until I graduate.</p>
<p>Good Luck!</p>