There is a girl, and ugh I can’t find the will to go up to her. I have tried to gathing that will and bit the bullet, but I just can’t. I feel there are too many rules on approaching girls, “you can’t do this,” “that can only happen after this,” “if you heard that, do this.” I am in no way of knowing anything about her unless I asked her if we can go to the college cafe and get to know each other, but even that I am told is weird and unlikely to be successful. This is really just a dumb boring english class, so I can’t really bring up an assignment when we typically don’t get them. I really really really wanna go up to her, but I always flunk out. Any suggestions? Anything would be great 
There aren’t rules to talking to girls except don’t be rude. Sit next to her and ask her if she’d like to get a cup of coffee at the cafe. I’ll let you in on a secret. Girls, when they are not in a relationship, like to be asked to do things.
@gearmom she wouldn’t think a random guy who she has never spoke to before asking to get coffee with her is weird or anything?
You’re not a random guy. You’re a classmate. Have you ever asked a girl you don’t know to dance?
@gearmom No, I haven’t. I just have been getting advice from a whole slew of people and not one is the same as any other. A lot of people said don’t ask her out to coffee yet, as that was my original thing.
And you know, it’s a cup of coffee not a marriage proposal. You’re over thinking this. Just ask.Truly, it is not a big deal.
@kywelch17 This is too silly. Humans interact. Ask her for coffee. Are girls telling you not to ask or boys? “Hey, I was wondering if you’d like to get a cup of coffee?” If yes, that’s fun. If no, the sun rises tomorrow and you know you can ask people to do things.
@gearmom guys
I remember when I was a college freshman I found this guy in my English class to be very interesting and cute. So I made it a point to walk out of class with him to ask about a poem we were studying. Eventually we swapped numbers and talked about class. Unfortunately it didn’t go anywhere because he had a serious gf, but he was very friendly and we ended up having good rapport as classmates. So, I think there’s no harm in asking this girl class related questions and taking it further to discuss over coffee. You never know what it could lead to and a plus would be that you get some practice on approaching girls you like…good luck!
@kywelch17 I suspected it was guys. I’m a girl expert. Girls are flattered to be asked. Just be chill, “Hey, I was wondering if you want to get a cup of coffee?” It’s that simple. Maybe she’s in a relationship but whatever the answer, you’ll be fine really. That’s how my son met his girlfriend. Just asked her to study.
Do you even know anything about her or ever talked to her even once? Please don’t tell me you are just interested in her for her looks?
@coissantsi Nope. But I’m not asking her out or anything like that either? I just think she is pretty interesting and I am using a we should meet up so we can get to know each other. I guess that is where I make my judgement.
If you are one of those people that just say youre an awful person for going after girls you dont know, I dont need it sorry and if I am in your eyes, oh well.
I dont know how to study for an english class. I guess i will ask her when I see her next. Just hoping youre right. @gearmom
@CALSmom See though I think a guy would say yes because its pretty rare for a guy to get asked out by a girl. Just saying, wish one would do that to me haha. I would say yes regardless who it was.
@kywelch17 Fortunately I was a little girl in to late 70s and we had rollerdisco. They instructed you to rollerskate in groups of two or three sometimes or you couldn’t skate. The first time I was asked I just froze. Gave kids lots of practice in taking risks. Years later in college, I gave my number sometimes to cute guys. Usually worked. Give it a try on Monday and report back if you want and we’ll debrief you.
P.S. Nothing wrong with asking a girl just because you think she’s pretty.
Physical attraction is a common first step, first spark. Not a problem. If she made a comment in class that was interesting, say that and ask her to coffee. She could say yes, later, or no. But remember, she could say yes. Those guys telling you not to ask her could be scared to do the same or want to ask her out themselves. Go for it. It is not a big deal for girls.
Fair enough, do you sit next to her?
@kywelch17 just to clarify I never asked him out only asked for his insight on a poem
However, maybe you could try sitting next to this girl in class and strike up conversation…current events, campus activities, etc
I think girls appreciate the friendly approach and not so much the approach like “I am really into you”…keep it casual and light
@kywelch17 I asked a boy out. We were at a function and got along but he didn’t ask for my number. I got to my car and said to myself, “You know what, I’m going to give him my number.” So I did and I didn’t even get home before he had called. (we didn’t have cell phones) Turns out he was too nervous to ask. No guts, no glory. Good practice for you.
@kywelch17 Sit next to her for a week. Talk to her when you can, then ask her for coffee. You’ll read her vibe when you chat. This would be less risk for you. And if she doesn’t have coffee? Her loss.