<p>My boyfriend and I will be together for 4 years this December, and plan on going to college together. I'm trying to decide whether I want to live off campus with him in an apartment, or live on campus in a dorm. If anyone has experienced this dilemma, please comment and share your stories/thought! </p>
<p>By the way, if all you're going to say is something along the lines of "going to college with your boyfriend is stupid," don't bother posting.</p>
<p>NO. Absolutely not. Do the dorm thing for a year. You guys can wait. A year is not much and dorming really is the way to go. Those in dorms statistically do better. You make friends easier, form study groups easier, etc. Trust me, it is better for BOTH of you to dorm for a year. Don’t rush. </p>
<p>And for my background, so you don’t think I’m biased or whatnot: I have no issue with people going to the same college as their SO. I had been with my (now ex) fiance for 4 years at the start of college. I am SO glad I chose not to live with him. We broke up my sophomore year (on very good terms) and I do not regret living in the dorms one bit for 2 years. I gained an invaluable network of friends that I probably wouldn’t have had otherwise. I now live in an off campus apartment with my new(ish) boyfriend and have for the last year. I have zero regrets. </p>
<p>I highly, highly, HIGHLY suggest living on campus. Also, are you even sure that you can live off campus? Many schools require freshman to live on campus.</p>
<p>Dorms 100%. Really. You are going off to college to have new experiences and meet new and different people. If you live with your BF, you will most likely not meet anyone new and will be limiting yourself so much. One of the most valuable aspects of a college education is not the education itself, but the experience of being on your own for the first time, and learning how to deal with all sorts of situations and all different types of people. If you always have the safety of your boyfriend to run back to you will never put yourself out there to try new things. Also, most new people that you meet are not going to want to hang around with you and your boyfriend, but with just you. Do yourself a favor and go for the dorms.</p>
<p>I think it depends on the person. Dorms can be a pretty horrible experience, depending on the quality of the dorm you get. </p>
<p>You should weigh the pros and cons.</p>
<p>Like, one pro like others in this thread have said, is you’d make friends. A con could be you’d be less focused on your studies with all those friends and activities.</p>
<p>Thanks for the input! </p>
<p>I forgot to add that we’ve been long distance for three years, and have been living together for the past four or five months.</p>
<p>I still stick by what I said. My ex moved in with us when I was like 16/17 and we lived together on and off for two years. The dorm experience really is invaluable.</p>
<p>The friends and networks you’ll make in the dorms will FAR outweigh living with your bf in the long term. Just give it a year.</p>
<p>Dorms 100%. You don’t want to look back (or have Him look back) in 5, 10, or 20 years and realize that you never had a chance to be yourselves. That just sounds like a divorce waiting to happen. Be at least a little independent now.</p>
<p>Dorms.</p>
<p>If things continue to go well with your boyfriend, you’ll know why and still have plenty of time to live with him after the dorm experience.</p>
<p>If things go awry, the dorms avoid awkwardness with living situations.</p>
<p>College is a time of personal discovery and major changes, so it’s important to have room to allow that to happen.</p>
<p>Dorms are you insane? Rooming with your boyfriend instead of the dorms is tantamount to essentially instantly confirming your status as somebody tied down, unapproachable and introverted. Not only will you not make new friends and connections you won’t be enjoying yourself as all of your brief acquaintances move along and develop complex and satisfying social circles. </p>
<p>Additionally, have you realized that people do move on? In the event, as unlikely as it may be, that things don’t work out with you and your boyfriend than what now? Your stuck paying rent with somebody who just dumped you and you have nowhere to stay and nobody to turn to and confide in.</p>
<p>The dorms are most likely cheaper or the same price as most off campus housing options. </p>
<p>This isn’t your choice here, I’m telling you not to live with your boyfriend. </p>
<p>I have personal experience with this. My roommate freshman year had a serious multi-year girlfriend that moved out with him to college. She lived off campus and he lived in the dorms. Yes he was gone a lot visiting her and staying over at her apartment, and she got to see him essentially as much as she wanted. Both of them were fairly outgoing as well. My roommate branched out in the dorms, he joined a fraternity and had a great freshman year. On the other hand, his girlfriend would only hang out with him and couldn’t make any new friends.</p>
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<p>The dorms at my college are about 40% more expensive than the on-campus apartments. Funny how they make you pay so much more to live in a closet sized room that you have to share.</p>
<p>Live in the dorms for your Freshmen year. Consider moving out afterwards, but not before. Almost all of us have said the same thing for a reason.</p>
<p>What if you break up?
<p>Though I might move in with two others next school year, I’m glad I live in a 10-month dorm. Considering all of the late-night things that I attend, it helps to be able to take a simple 10 minute walk back home at midnight.</p>
<p>It’s true, people do make a lot more friends through dorm life. I used to eat dinner with between 2 and 7 others who lived on the same floor as myself everyday, but I started eating dinner a lot more often with the two I plan on moving into a house with instead. That alone has changed my relationship with the 7 dorm-mates and the other 2. It’ll change a lot more if I move into a house… but I won’t be spending $2,444 on a dorm room each semester. Meh. It’ll either be worth it or it won’t.</p>
<p>See if the college has apartments. UCM has apartments in the same buildings as the dorm rooms. They’re apparently pretty sweet, but I haven’t bothered to go into one yet.</p>
<p>I only see one problem which is that you’re coming into college with your bf. There is a potential to break up, but I’d say if you’re feeling pretty secure by junior or senior year…go ahead and get an apartment together. I am 99% sure I’m going to be marrying the girl I’m with but as a transfer student it is hard to make friends anyways without being able to get into the dorms.</p>
<p>I would absolutely live in the dorms. It’ll be a lot harder to become integrated into your college community if you live off-campus and with your boyfriend, and on the off-chance that you ever break up (however rare it may be), it’d be nice to have other friends and people on campus to turn to. Even if you never do break up, it’d definitely be nice to establish relationships with other people on campus, which is much easier to do when you’re living in dorms with other freshmen.</p>
<p>In summary: definitely live in the dorms. Some of my best friends (and current roommates) are from my freshman dorm, and it’s always nice to have a community on your floor/in your dorm.</p>
<p>Dorms so much. I think everybody has touched on the important points here. Even throwing out any of the ‘what if you break up’ reasons there are a ton of reasons from a social standpoint that you would want to dorm it up. You’ll make far more friends dorming than living with your boyfriend, and the last thing you want is to graduate, look around, and realize the only person you’re really close with now is the only person you were really close with four years ago.</p>
<p>You have the rest of your life to live with your boyfriend, but limited opportunity to live in dorms.</p>
<p>According to your profile you’re 17 turning 18. I don’t mean to sound like an old prick lol, but if I know damn well if I had a daughter she would definitely not be moving in with her high school sweetheart before she’s even old enough to drink(Not that it’s preventing you anyways, I’m just saying you’re way too young).</p>
<p>Stay in the dorms, and enjoy the experience. I wish I could’ve had a traditional freshman dorm experience. Don’t make the same mistake I did.</p>
<p>^ Not to be a stickler, but unless you are paying your future D’s rent, you have absolutely zero say. I moved in with my current boyfriend when we were 20 and it’s nbd. Lived with ex before that.</p>
<p>^As a response to the former - depends on the family, but I would wager in the majority of instances a 17 year old doesn’t have the resources to pay their own rent. Also, in many families, age of majority means little in that the kids respect their parents’ say. I certainly would not have moved into an apartment with my long-term boyfriend at 18, regardless of whether I imagined myself grown or not. My parents wouldn’t have let me.</p>
<p>Anyway, I don’t think going to college with your boyfriend is stupid - I did, but not intentionally - but I do think that you two should apply to some of the same schools and some different ones. I have quite a few friends from HS that got married to their HS sweethearts and I myself just got married to my HS boyfriend of 11 years last month, so I know it could work. But you do need to think about your own interests and needs, too. As long as you are both doing that when you select colleges, you should be fine.</p>
<p>However, I don’t think you should live together yet. The reason I say that is because I also had been dating my now-husband for 3 years by the time I went to college, and we went to college across the street from each other (think of a Barnard/Columbia or Scripps/Pomona type deal). I already spent way too much time with him, and I think if I had lived with him I wouldn’t have made any friends in college. It’ll be easier for you to form your own friend groups, get to know other people, and development separate and independent lives (which is necessary for the health of your relationship) if you live in the residence halls.</p>
<p>^ That’s exactly why I said unless you’re paying for D’s rent. </p>
<p>Some college freshmen get help from parents for living expenses. Many do not. More than you’d think. I know plenty of people who have been paying their own rent since they graduated high school, including myself. Maybe it’s because I come from a low income area, but parents couldn’t afford their rent + their child’s rent. Others still pay for off campus housing with scholarship funds.</p>
<p>You may not want to hear it but the real deal is you two will break up sometime in your first year. Do the dorms.</p>