<p>I’ve heard numerous stories about Barnard women not finding happiness at the college until their second and third year.</p>
<p>Does the fierce competition that I’ve heard so much about hinder your ability to make good friends and be happy?
anything else on your undergrad experience would be really helpful.</p>
<p>THANKS IN ADVANCE! I’m seriously thinking of applying ED</p>
<p>Most of the women I have met there are very happy with their choice. Most of it has to do with your personality. D1 for instance is not what you would call a generally "happy" person, yet she is very happy with Barnard, except for tonight as she has a test tomorrow and two papers due.</p>
<p>I second mardad's analysis. My daughter is an "I'm only happy when it rains" type, but she has certainly been happier at Barnard than other places. She adores the city; the adores the women she's met, and she's very engaged in her courses. She likes having the city to lure her boyfriend from visiting from Wash. U., and she certainly says she could not imagine herself at any other school.</p>
<p>Just this week she went to a Harry Potter party at Columbia, went to movies with friends, went to literary society functions, met a friend for dinner at South Street Seaport and bought an incredible dress very discounted as well as planned her colloquia papers. It's good.</p>
<p>My d is in her third year and has been almost crazy-happy since day one. She has made incredible friends and found her passion in her major (neuroscience) while still getting to enjoy her love of dance and grow in that area (not many places offer that!). She has found the work to be challenging and stimulating but that is what she signed up for and, though she does get stressed at times, she always comes through and feels great about it. She would have it no other way!</p>
<p>She has made friends that I know will be hers for life. She and her suitemates are so very close and she still meets for lunch with her first year roomies as well. She also has made great friendships with various Columbia students (some of whom have graduated). She loves taking advantage of life in NYC and has gotten to participate in auditions for things like the Radio City Rockettes, A Chorus Line, and Wicked to name a few. Even if she does not get hired, she loves attending the auditions for the experience and to get to dance at that level. At this point, she would HATE leaving school if she got hired anyway, so it's a win-win for her. All that being said, she has actually made it to the end of the audition for A Chorus line and has made call-backs for Rockettes and gotten hired for a regional production (summer). How many colleges give you that sort of opportunity? Or even to SEE shows on Broadway for great low prices or even for free??</p>
<p>To the OP: have you visited campus? Talk to students there in person and get a feel for it yourself before applying ed if possible. Best to you in your college applications!</p>
<p>D2 is just a firt-year, but to this point she's very happy with the school.
She's met a number of new friends, getting along great. Likes all her classes a lot. Has not reported experiencing any "fierce competition".</p>
<p>Might depend on what you're taking, I guess.</p>
<p>Yeah, my d actually expressed that she felt a little, well, under-challenged her first semester as the course load whe was encouraged to take was definitely lighter than what she has taken since. That was a good thing, though, becuase she was able to make plenty of friends and get her feet firmly grounded in a good mix of academic and social activities.</p>
<p>All that being said, for my d at least, the only competition she has ever perceived (at least that I know of) is with herself. She routinely studies with groups of students and as far as I know they always try to help each other out. She works hard and loves it.</p>
<p>churchmusicmom-- i have visited the campus several times and stayed over at both Barnard and Columbia. every time i go back i love it even more.</p>
<p>i'm a very hard worker since ive been in high school, so i dont want to be stressed 100% of the time at college... when it boils down to it, thats my main issue</p>
<p>Barnard's academics are somewhat demanding for my D, but that's why she went there. I think any good institution is going to ask a lot of its students in one way or another.</p>
<p>Oooh...I love hearing these happy stories. I had the opportunity to visit Barnard this past weekend, and my goodness, I absolutely fell in LOVE with the school. Wow, but hearing from these girls during the student panel discussion was a bit daunting. It's like they accomplished so much, involved in so many activities, while holding 3 jobs or so....it's crazy! Very intelligent, independent, confident girls.</p>
<p>Gosh, I just hope they accept me. I think I will actually cry if I get rejected, especially since I began to plan out what activities I would get involved in if I get accepted and attend the school next Fall : ( </p>
<p>I would have applied ED, but I still have to take SATs in November, and it will be too late.</p>
<p>More happy stories, PLEASE! : )</p>
<p>I think it depends on what you mean by "happy". I suppose my daughter would fit your description of "not finding happiness until the second year" -- she is extremely happy this year (her 2nd) and has said many times how much happier she is this year than last. But she wasn't really "unhappy" her first year -- she just had a harder time than anticipated making a core group of strong friends. She took some very challenging courses her first semester, opting for courses geared for sophomores & juniors -- and it took some time to adjust the the workload and expectations for college level work. She found herself spending a lot of time studying when she saw her roommate going out to play -- though the situation was reversed the following semester when the roommie ended up being the one with the heavier courseload. </p>
<p>Here are the two things that I observed that I think were major factors in the adjustment my d. was making.</p>
<p>1) Culture clash: My d. is a west coast student coming from a middle class family (needs a lot of financial aid) who has always attended public schools, and was expected to work while in college. She ran into both the east coast/west coast culture clash and the rich / not rich culture clash -- different expectations and life assumptions coloring relationships. It took her awhile to find her "people". </p>
<p>I think that this issue would have come up at any private, elite East coast school -- my son experienced a similar feeling of not really belonging at first at a different East coast LAC. </p>
<p>I think my d.'s situation was made worse by the fact that she is very outgoing and sociable and really needs the company of good friends to be happy, and because she did have some good friends attending different schools -- so she ended up spending a lot of time socializing off campus, which of course only made it harder to get involved in life & friendships on campus.</p>
<p>I also think that the all-freshman, corridor dorm thing did not work in my d's favor -- she tends to have a more diverse group of friends in terms of age, and she is much happier now in a suite with a shared kitchen as opposed to being relegated to a food plan and eating in a large dining hall. My d's courseload and hours created a situation where she often found herself eating alone her first semester -- if you are eating all by yourself, it just doesn't seem nearly as lonely if you are preparing a plate for yourself in your own kitchen. </p>
<p>2) I do think from my observations when I spent a weekend living in my d's dorm that the Barnard lifestyle is not as "friendly" as my own college dorm life experience had been. As an adult visitor, I kind of appreciated the relative quiet -- but when I described the chaos of my own freshman dorm life, my d. said she thought she would have liked that better. I saw long corridors with every door closed -- and the high density, high rise living is not really conducive to the "everybody knows everybody else" atmosphere that took place when I was in college. I think this is a function of urban living -- if you are in NY, you are not going to look upon your dorm lounge as being a social hot spot. </p>
<p>So I think as a prospie, you should think carefully about what your expectations are for college life. I think my d. did want an urban lifestyle, but it took her awhile to find her comfort level. </p>
<p>--
Again, my daughter really was never really *un*happy -- she certainly had a busy life and never contemplated transferring, and always seemed enthused about the academic aspects of college life. I think that it just took her awhile to find her groove.</p>
<p>Limulus -- my daughter has never felt stressed. Challenged, yes. But she has never complained of being overwhelmed by the workload. </p>
<p>But I think you do have to be careful to make sure that there is a good fit. The description of Barnard being full of "intelligent, independent, confident girls" involved in multiple activities while holding 3 jobs is pretty much accurate. I would say my d. found her "happiness" when she arrived sophomore year with the multiple activities and jobs all in place. So if you are looking for "fit" -- expect a high energy lifestyle.</p>
<p>You know, I was initially drawn to Barnard...then to Wellesley, and now I think I'm falling in love with Barnard all over again.</p>
<p>Advice: For those of you who are torn, confused, or unsure -- do not apply ED. Apply RD and make up your mind in the spring, after narrowing down your choices and visiting the colleges highest on your list. </p>
<p>Barnard is a wonderful college. As a parent I am particularly delighted with the high level of academics, the seemingly unlimited academic resources & options, quality of advising, and the respect that Barnard faculty seems to have for the students. I am also pleased to hear my daughter speak positively about the college administration. The school has been reasonably good to us for financial aid, and my d. was given a grant last summer that enabled her to take a public-interest oriented internship rather than having to spend the summer on her feet working retail. I have seen my d. blossom intellectually and I do think that the Barnard experience has offered much more than she would have found if she had attended a public university in our home state. </p>
<p>Barnard isn't perfect -- I could think of plenty of things I & my d. don't like. My d. would prefer co-ed - she likes having guys as friends and she also like to hear the male point of view in class discussions. According to my d, the food is terrible and I feel the meal plans are overpriced. Housing is acceptable but the I think the system for housing selection for continuing students is really screwed up. Life in New York is hectic and the urban environment that my d. finds stimulating is one that I would find exhausting. What passes for "courtesy" in New York City seems like outright rudeness to anyone accustomed to life outside the urban Northeast. </p>
<p>You could look at just about any college and come up with a similar list of pros and cons. The worst mistake you could make is to develop an idealized mental picture of a college and focus all your hopes on the single school -- because if you aren't disappointed in the admissions process, you might be disappointed when you enroll and start to discover the various imperfections for the first time.</p>
<p>A lot of the issues that you hear as generalizations, both positive & negative, don't play out when you narrow things down to individual cases. For example, Barnard offers some theme housing options -- its very possible that the girls who opt for those floors end up with more of a sense of community and connection than my daughter found with her more random assignment. If you hear one student complaining of being overwhelmed with work and another who feels underchallenged.... you might want to ask their major. My d. said one of her problems in terms of social life was that a lot of the girls on her floor were pre-med and (understandably) they studied endlessly and obsessed over their grades. Barnard actually has many more English majors than pre-med students, so I imagine that if my d. had been assigned to a different floor her experience could have been quite different. </p>
<p>So I would also suggest that instead of looking at any college or university as a whole, that you also spend time exploring the college catalogs to imagine yourself with various majors, and look to see what housing options are and how much choice entering students have about where they are housed. The question is not really about how well the college as a whole fits, but what life will be like in the niche you are likely to carve out for yourself. </p>
<p>Dig deep -- check the Barnard threads at Livejournal, where students are more likely to post day-to-day concerns & problems. Read the reviews in culpa of the classes and profs in your areas of interest -- you can take those with a grain of salt, but they will give you a sense of what your academic experience will be like. </p>
<p>And, again.. don't lock yourself in during the fall of your high school senior year. If you are likely to get accepted to Barnard, you are likely to also get accepted to many other excellent colleges. You'll find yourself asking much more probing and practical questions in April-- so it really is best for most students to make their final decisions then.</p>
<p>Wise advice, indeed, Calmom. I second pretty much everything you said.</p>
<p>I'm a first-year at Barnard, and I absolutely love it here. As cheesy as it sounds, sometimes my friends and I just sit around and talk about how happy we are that we decided to come to Barnard.
However, that said, Barnard is not an "easy school." The academics are challenging. You have to be prepared to work hard.</p>
<p>My D considered Barnard and we visited the campus twice. Students we chatted wtih were friendly and seemed very happy with their choice but I think Barnard is very much in New York City and if the heavily urban lifestyle is not for you , you may not be happy at the college either. Wellesley could be a better choice if you're more "suburban." (My D opted for coed suburban in the end.)</p>
<p>I second pyewacket. The glorious urban experience is essential for enjoying Barnard; if that's not your thing, you won't like Barnard. If you do, like my D, you'll be in Heaven.</p>
<p>Not that rankings are important, but I believe Princeton Review ranked Barnard #16 for "Best Quality of Life" :)</p>
<p>What does your daughter say about the Neuroscience at Barnard? Can you give me as much info as you know, please?:]</p>
<p>Can't say anything about neuroscience. D is law school bound. I can say that she was accepted into the exact semester abroad experience she wanted, but now she isn't sure she wants to leave Barnard!</p>