<p>Oh, ok. Sorry I misinterpreted. Carry on.</p>
<p>Swimmer726, thank you for sharing your S’s great experience with an independent college consultant. Our teens are a few years from applying to college, but we see the value in planning ahead. Also, editing the essays is very beneficial. Would you please be able to share the name of the consultant? Did your son work with her in person or out of state? We are in the West Coast.</p>
<p>I am new to CC, so if it is better to PM me, that would be great. Thank you!</p>
<p>“Why can’t you TRUST YOUR CHILD that they can make their own futures?”</p>
<p>If you want to become a better dancer, you hire a dancing teacher. If you want to become a better quarterback, you hire a coach. Does it indicate a lack of trust in the child if parents hire those experts to help build skills? I don’t see how. Would a really trusting parent just toss a learn-to-play-piano book at the kid instead of setting up lessons with a piano teacher? </p>
<p>If you want to be a better college applicant and a better writer of creative nonfiction (aka the college essay), it makes a lot of sense to hire an expert to guide you. An application is really no different from a vocal audition or debate tournament. Some people succeed without any support, but a lot of people will do a better job after a knowledgeable critique.</p>
<p>Trust me, consultants don’t get anywhere when the kid doesn’t want to work with them. I can talk about the perfect spiral all night, but the kid has to throw the ball.</p>
<p>Gosh, I’ve never been quoted before. Sounds like an angry parent.</p>
<p>I also said you can do what you want.</p>
<p>But really- aren’t dance lessons and sports stuff life long term if not potentially life long skills etc that would likely build all sorts of positives attributes that a young person would use to show a college what they are about?</p>
<p>Isn’t applying for college a different thing? It is a one time ( generally speaking) presentation of who you are and what you have to offer that includes all those dance lessons or whatever you did with the guidance of experienced staff etc (the professionals you alluded to hiring).</p>
<p>I never looked at applying to colleges as the equivalent of my interests in different areas of study or my extracurriculars. It’s where I got to explain what I did, why I did it, who I am. </p>
<p>So, from this kid’s perspective, if my parent’s wanted to involve a Consultant, I personally would have been put off. Not saying your kids would feel the same. I liked realizing that I improved my interview presentations as time went on and I had more interviews for schools, for scholarships, for jobs, whatever. I liked that I could put together my own essays and rewrite as I saw fit. I presented my essays to my parents- some before I hit the button and some after. They trusted me. I think that was great. </p>
<p>I have no idea if any or many kids I met at Admit Weekend were Consultant Kids. Out of sheer curiosity it would be interesting to know what difference if any it makes having one or not. Impossible to determine I would guess though. </p>
<p>So, back to it being a free country. I stand by that. Get one if you want. I was just concerned for those, like my cousin, who finds it a negative in her relationship with her parents. She is highly capable and really DOES feel it shows a lack of confidence in her by her parents. That certainly may not apply to you but it doesn’t mean it isn’t real to her. Don’t get angry with me if you want to use a consultant but honestly hiring a coach for your kid’s dancing aspirations or whatever skills is not equivalent to hiring someone to guide your kid through applying to wherever. They may both be valid or not. But they aren’t the same thing. Good luck College Class of 2016- hope it is easier then the roller coaster of 2015. I grew up a lot. More to go… :)</p>
<p>I haven’t read most of the thread, but want to say that too much focus on admission to Ivies or other top colleges during high school is never a good idea.</p>
<p>The kids who don’t get in are disappointed, and the kids who do get in often hit a depression, because the goal for years was to get in, not to actually go, do the work, and enjoy. </p>
<p>Living for that kind of narrow, external goal during high school just kind of warps development. Starting early makes it even worse.</p>
<p>Rather than hire a consultant, I would buy a few books like “Colleges that Change Lives,” “Beyond the Ivies” (both by Pope), “Cool Colleges,” and so on and stretch your child’s ideas on worthwhile schools. (Again, better to wait a couple of years, but if the topic is already an active one in your house, then start with this now.)</p>
<p>That way, he can eventually apply to an Ivy or two, with reasdonable perspective, and also apply to several other schools that would work out, some “matches” and some “safeties.”</p>
<p>In the meantime, let his interests and activities develop naturally, but watch for natural opportunities to help them deepen and grow. If he signs up for a part in a play and enjoys it, then certainly help him find some theater program in the summer, or take him to some plays in the city, that kind of thing. But let the interest come from him.</p>
<p>The college admissions thing really isn’t rocket science. The private school will tell him what courses would be good to take, and choosing schools to apply to isn’t that hard either.</p>
<p>Most people seem to hire consultants because the are having some difficulty communicating with their child, and an outsider can sometimes get a child to do something that he or she would resist when pushed by a parent. At least, that is what my friends who do consulting say.</p>
<p>It really isn’t necessary to suffer and overwork, during high school, in order to land at a great school. I hope your son can enjoy the nextg 4 years!</p>
<p>p.s. the kind of editing that a consultant may help with on an essay can backfire: colleges can often tell the difference. Schools would often prefer a less than perfect essay written entirely by the student, than a perfect one that was heavily coached.</p>
<p>“Isn’t applying for college a different thing? It is a one time ( generally speaking) presentation of who you are and what you have to offer”</p>
<p>Your argument was that hiring the coach in the admissions arena shows a lack of trust in the child, and I don’t understand why the long-term value of the skill determines whether hiring a coach shows distrust or not. But given that you think it does, the answer to your question is no. Effective, concise writing is much more important than ballet skills in the lives of most adults. You will face the challenge of wanting to join an organization, and needing to present yourself and what you have to offer, over and over again in life. Of course, grad school, the Peace Corps, Teach for America, corporations, etc. will each have a unique set of expectations. But a solid understanding of the first such hurdle in your life can make it easier to handle the ones to come. Students still get a sense of accomplishment from improving their interviewing skills (for example) whether they work with a coach or not – because it still IS an accomplishment.</p>
<p>Furthermore, if you are more successful at the admissions stage, and get an acceptance (or a scholarship) that brings wonderful things into your life, that itself has value.</p>
<p>“I also said you can do what you want.”</p>
<p>We know we can do what we want. This discussion is about what parents should do, not what they can do. You espoused a point of view, and you got some disagreement. Get ready for a lot more of this in college.</p>
<p>Also, quoting people is normal and polite on discussion boards and does not indicate anger. Shouting in all caps does.</p>
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<p>Absolutely. I think that’s one area where a college consultant can be very helpful – if the parent is fixated on only a handful of schools (Ivies and the like), a college consultant who has a broader, more expansive view can open the families’ eyes to schools they might not have otherwise known about or considered. I agree that myopic focus on HYPSM is detrimental, but that’s really neither here nor there when it comes to the hiring of a college consultant. Plenty of parents are overly focused on HYPSM and actually would have benefited from a college consultant who could have opened their minds.</p>
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<p>If you had a bad essay consultant - sure, the final product will look perfectly packaged and appropriately smarmy (“I learned about teamwork when I kicked the winning goal …” “I learned from my summer in Guatemala that we are all the same under the skin …”). I believe a good essay consultant - which is what we had – can push the kids to express why and build their arguments better, without compromising their voice or making it sound overly coached, stilted or formal. I have a sense that people expect “consultant-helped essays” to have a sense of falseness about them. They can if the consultant insists on writing them, but if all the consultant is doing is helping the kid find his voice, it won’t come across fake at all - since it won’t be fake.</p>
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<p>Actually, I really do think it is the exact same thing. Whether it’s “worth it” - the question posed in the thread - is up to the individual / family and their budgets to decide. One family may determine that all they’re willing to pay for is group tennis lessons at the Y; another family may determine that they want their tennis protege coached privately by the best coach in the city. Whether the second family’s expenditures are “worth it” - well, that’s for them to decide, not me.</p>
<p>speaking from experience, I can tell you that college counsellors in early high school are almost definitely not worth it. You can learn just as much here at CC or through your child’s school than with a college counsellor. The fact that you are already on your way to thinking about your child’s education puts you in a good position.</p>
<p>Thanks bluegrassgrl for posting your perspective. I feel for children like your cousin, who might end up believing that their parents belief in them is conditional on what a college admissions officer decides. It’s almost certainly not, but I know how easy it is for children to believe that their family loves them for their accomplishments and not for themselves (especially if they’re accomplished). Every year a child posts at CC after the admission cycle heartbroken that they’ve disappointed their parents. </p>
<p>Your post will be a reminder to me to make sure I listen to my children and give them the information and help they want, of a process that does belong to them, and not to me. Mind you, there are 16 and 17 year olds who might not be quite as ready to take on the responsibility as you were (as there are 10 year olds who may still need attention crossing the street). But you reminded me that mine probably will be, and I should listen to them.</p>
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<p>I think the issue of parents conveying that their belief in their child is conditional on them getting into a certain select set of colleges is completely independent of the choice to hire a college consultant or not. Plenty of parents lay that guilt trip on their kids – it’s all over CC (“I disappointed my parents because I ‘only’ got into Cornell”) – when there were no counselors involved. I really think those are two entirely separate issues.</p>
<p>Thanks for all the thoughtful responses! I think I will go with reading some of the book recommendations on this thread and participating in this forum, and maybe talk to our schools college counselors next year. This is supposed to be a mellow summer for #1 son, anyway. </p>
<p>I remember having awful fights with my parents about college back in the day, so I definitely want to stay from that with my kid. But I also feel that the US educational system is radically unequal and I want to keep my kid on the right side of the great divide, which might or might not mean Ivy League.</p>
<p>Laurelhurst, if you are in Portland, OR–I have a name of a college consultant that comes highly recommended. My daughter is finishing her first year of high school and we have not used a private consultant yet but plan to make an appointment her sophomore year. My understanding is that she is really good at setting the kids on course, honing in on their passions to do the work to make themselves more marketable.</p>
<p>My kid will be entering Grade 11 this fall and I am trying to figure out if we need to work with a consultant to get help with Essays etc.</p>
<p>Got mails from College Coach and Study Point offering their services.</p>
<p>Does anyone have experience with these consultants?</p>
<p>Boris</p>
<p>“The kids who don’t get in are disappointed, and the kids who do get in often hit a depression, because the goal for years was to get in, not to actually go, do the work, and enjoy.”</p>
<p>That is so true. Seriously, there are better things to learn in high school than “how to get into a top college.” Learning such a non-transferable skill for 4 years isn’t worth it (unless you’re applying to grad school afterwards, but nevertheless, it’s still not a substantial life skill). There are better ways to learn how to write concisely… </p>
<p>Kids work better when their motivation is from within. Hiring a consultant is fine as long as the kid is still self-motivated, but forcing kids to do this and that won’t work well. </p>
<p>But personally, being the frugal person I am, I never considered hiring a consultant an option. I was rather misinformed (let’s just say I didn’t know what AP’s were until I was a sophomore), never paid for tutoring/prep classes, bought minimal prep books (whatever the public library didn’t have…), and got into an Ivy last year. </p>
<p>Let’s put it this way: Kids have to be able to survive on their own eventually. Admissions into college isn’t the end of the road; it’s only the beginning of a journey.</p>
<p>“If you are thinking about using a consultant, it’s best to do it early on, like freshman year. It’s pointless by the time a student is junior or senior.” - It depends what you want. Sure… if the kid is determined to get into an Ivy and want to mold his/her life to that outcome, maybe an early consultant can help… but there is still no guarantee of Ivy. </p>
<p>If you want to find a college that is a good fit for the student that has evolved in hs, later consultant could work fine. Having proper academic prep is important, but that can be achieved even through the most meager guidance office by requesting the most challenging course options.</p>
<p>Thanks for all the great info. Who was the person you used?</p>
<p>@ Tinalamonica,
“Thanks for all the great info. Who was the person you used?”</p>
<p>Who are you asking? I used College Karma, which is affiliated with this board. We only hired someone at the very end, when DD decided to add another safety to her list, and didn’t have any good ideas. I think I paid approximately $200 for a review of her previously submitted essays, transcripts, etc, and a list of possible “safety” schools. She and our daughter emailed back and forth several times, and my daughter submitted an app (and was accepted with a big scholarship) to a terrific safety (DePaul University in Chicago) which would have been a great choice. </p>
<p>That said, I think that extensive review of this board, including the College Vibe section, was our main tool for the search. We also used the College Board, College *******, and Rate Your Professor sites, but this one was by far the best. We picked the schools with a mix of low reach, high match, medium match, and low match. Our DD initially said that no safeties appealed to her and if she didn’t get into her choices she would simply go to CC, but after getting the first round of deferrals from most of her schools, she changed her mind, and that’s when we emailed College Karma.</p>
<p>As a Guidance Counselor that has worked in both public and private schools, I would say that using an independent college counselor will be worth it at some point. </p>
<p>When you go to Graduate School to become a School Counselor, they pretend (during your two years there) that you will be doing a lot of deep interpersonal counseling as well as significant college counseling with each and every one of your little darlings. In reality, the large public high school where I got my first job, gave me 400 kids in my caseload, tasked me with administering all sorts of standardized tests for the State, gave me the job of scheduling all 400 of my darlings into classes, and dropped ‘new student’ enrollees on me nearly every day of the week. It was incredibly stressful and I had time to do almost NO college counseling whatsoever. </p>
<p>When I moved to the smaller private school in the same city, they had a guidance counselor for each grade level - but this model is RARE. Usually elite private schools have two school counselors, but whether they are knowledgeable about the different schools around the country or not is a crap shoot.</p>
<p>If you can afford the money, and you find someone whom you ‘click’ with (yes this is very much like finding a good therapist!’ then I say you cannot lose. I would much rather have someone with 15 clients per fall, focusing on my student and giving us the personal attention we need, then someone with 400 students, whom is burned out from scheduling all day long, trying to muster up the energy to figure out what’s going on with my kid. Even at a private school, the counselor(s) could be phenomenal or not. And the scary part is, unless you educate yourself a bit (on here and elsewhere) you’re not going to know if it’s the ‘not’ part until it’s too late. </p>
<p>AS for myself, I went to a very expensive private school that had a joke of a guidance counselor. The guy gave me no good advice whatsoever and he ended up printing up a list of schools with hockey teams for me to apply to since I mentioned that I kept the stats for the high school hockey team. !!! Thank Goodness I got into my dream school, first choice and the end all be all for me, because I had no viable backups whatsoever. And my parents were paying a MINT for me to attend this school. </p>
<p>Just because you spend money on a prep-school doesn’t mean they have a counseling dept worth anything.</p>