Are my parents right about teaching?

Parents Forum
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<p>Seems to me the bullies are the people yelling at their son that he’s wasted their money if he’s only going to be a teacher, and that he owes them a high paying job.</p>

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I still believe that OP’s parents care far more about the OP than the collective group here.
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<p>So what? Lots of unhappy people in therapy because they really wanted to be artists or musicians or librarians or classics professors, and their parents, who undoubtedly loved them , forced them to be doctors or engineers.</p>

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<p>Yes, we bullies, who dare to challenge the cultural mantra that you are what you earn and who dare to suggest that dying with the most toys may not make for the most fulfilling and satisfying life.</p>

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<p>No one is saying there is anything wrong with parents giving career advice to their kids. The problem is with the idea that there is some kind of financial tit-for-tat where a student is somehow morally obligated to make the largest financial return on the parents’ educational investment in the choice of a career.</p>

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<p>If the OP had asked, “Are my parents right about working on Wall Street?” I suppose you could recommend that. But he didn’t ask that question. He asked about secondary teaching, not the 1001 other careers he could have asked about. It seems that you are imposing your own preoccupations on this issue while criticizing others for addressing the OP’s direct question.</p>

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<p>Lots of baggage here.</p>

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<p>I deal with real bullies every single day at work.</p>

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<p>Financial tit-for-tat? Where? The other option being considered by the OP is to get a PhD. Not exactly lucrative.</p>

<p>I wonder if the OP is Asian. I know that many Asian parents look down upon K-12 teaching jobs (I do too). They are not against teaching. They love kids who get a PhD and teach in a renowned college or university, even though there is not much money in academics. The frustration that you read likely has nothing to do with money. It has to do with high aspirations for their kid. I have a suspicion that they are also not happy that the OP is chickening out of a PhD.</p>

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<p>The OP’s direct question was whether his parents are wrong. The answer is a categorical No. Many if not all of the things his parents said are factually correct. His parents have a complete right to express their frustration. If my kid came home one day and said that he would love to be a garbage collector, I would be frustrated too.</p>

<p>However, the OP should do whatever he wants to do. He should consider the positives and the negatives and make a judgment call.</p>

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<p>You should get out more.</p>

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<p>Do parents have the right to express their frustration at their adult children’s choices in life?</p>

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<p>Sigh.</p>

<p>The student asked if his parents were wrong about TEACHING. That is an important part of the question. At least you are finally admitting that you just have contempt for K-12 teachers and you share the parents’ opinion, rather than playing the obtuse devil’s advocate. </p>

<p>OP:

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<p>Money was specifically and directly mentioned by the OP as an issue. </p>

<p>One of the parents has a teaching background, so there must be a lot of self-hatred there if your hypothesis is correct.</p>

<p>Why not try to address what is there instead of what is not there?</p>

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<p>We can agree on that at least.</p>

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<p>How lovely. </p>

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<p>Right, because it’s all about the prestige. You’ll forgive me for not being terribly impressed with the cultural value that prestige is that all one should strive for – particularly prestige in the eyes of others. Oooh, ooh! Let’s impress others with our brand names!</p>

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<p>Indeed, that is all what a twenty-year old wants from his parents:</p>

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<p><a href=“http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBS0OWGUidc[/url]”>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBS0OWGUidc&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

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<p>If the choices are dangerous, sure. If the adult child is sponging off the parents while playing video games and refusing to look for work, sure. </p>

<p>However, if an adult child is self-supporting and happy? What’s the problem?</p>

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<p>NJSue, where is the financial tit-for-tat? The parents are not threatening to pull the plug on the OP, they will keep financing his education. They are saying that well, for all that money if all you become is a K-12 teacher then that’s rather poor use of money indeed. If they believe that it is poor use of money, what do you expect them to say? There is no financial tit-for-tat here, just two parents who had high hopes for their kid and are disappointed. As for self-hatred, can we please leave the psychoanalysis out and test the facts? What did the parents say? 1) Teaching is not financially lucrative, and that is factually correct. 2) Teaching comes with a lot of disrespect from students, and that is also factually correct in US schools and colleges. No self-hatred here. Just honesty.</p>

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<p>So, no one has any right to express any frustration with other people’s behavior as long as the other people are self-supporting and happy? Wow, that would cut out a lot of holier-than-thou posts on this forum. I would like that a lot.</p>

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<p>It has nothing to do with prestige and everything to do with high goals. You need to be responsible for your own reactions.</p>

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<p>Anyway, no more posts from me on this thread. Best of luck to the OP.</p>

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<p>Why does no one consider the fact that teaching is a part time job? They work 9 months out of the year and get two weeks at Christmas, 1 week for spring break and myriad holidays. That $65,000 salary would work out to a respectable $86,000 if the teacher were working full time ($65,000 divided by 9 and multiplied by 12). Teachers have TIME instead of money.</p>

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<p>Unfortunately, that’s what drive a lot of parents who think that they have the right to make decisions their children should in fact be making. The decal in the back window of the SUV trumps what is truly in the best interest of the kid.</p>

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<p>You were the one who postulated that the parents did not have respect for teachers. Since one of them is a teacher, you are the one who would seem to be suggesting the self-hatred bit. Not me. Also, the idea that an expensive education is a “waste” for a mere K-12 teacher implies that yes, the parents do believe that the student has an obligation/expectation to get a high-paying job in exchange for the parents’ investment. I disagree with this mentality, as I find it low-brow and anti-intellectual.</p>

<p>The parents don’t want the kid to be a teacher. That is a fact. The OP came to this board to get other perspectives. He got them. I find that teaching comes with a lot of respect and appreciation from students and parents. When I was a public school teacher, I really enjoyed the relationships I developed with families and kids. They were not always positive, but they were mostly positive. I also find that I managed to make adequate money for my needs and wants. That is my experience as a teacher. It is also “factually correct.” I’m sorry that the OP’s father is bitter and disappointed, but his experience does not represent the complete reality of the teaching profession.</p>

<p>May the OP find a satisfying and renumerative career that allows him the kind of life he wants.</p>