Exactly. In the whole, I am amazed that I have kids that OVERALL are such wonderful human beings. They can be a little peculiar, in many ways they’re very different than me, and I delight that I get to know them their whole lives!</p>
<p>
I feel very disloyal when I share negative things, and even some positive things with everyone. I always think, how much would I want them to tell everyone when I have a bad day and act unreasonable and grouchy? That said, I do have several friends that I will share almost everything with, the good and the bad, because we can help each other deal with situations. Those friends are far and few between.</p>
<p>I live in a quiet part of the Midwest, and we’re not all super-competitive for schools and such, so that affects interactions I’m sure. I do know many parents who go on and on about how great their kids are at (fill in the blank). I really think they are just so proud that such a wonderful, talented kid came out of their bodies when often the parent does not have that same talent. I try to forgive them and enjoy the pleasure they’re obviously feeling (sometimes it’s easier than others).</p>
<p>MD Mom, I am laughing at the elbow picture! That sounds like something S1 would do.</p>
<p>I think that Seattle_Mom is right that most parents are careful about discussing family issues. But keeping these things private is different from the bragging syndrome that I see around here. Some parents are really over the top.</p>
<p>In terms of my kids, both of them are very good people. But S1 is difficult, and S2 is pure delight.</p>
<p>One never napped, one had tantrums that could go for hours, neither one potty trained easily, one often needed to be carried out of Target screaming for a toy, one had odd obsessions with the phone, the mail, and money, one is forgetful, both can drive me nutty, oh well, I love them. They’re only perfect angels when they’re asleep. I’ll brag about that. :)</p>
<p>MD Mom my D did the same elbow/butt crack trick and put it on my wallpaper! Maybe we should introduce our kids DS just takes pics up his nose and uses them as my screen saver.</p>
<p>Today I went to put in a load of laundry and realized D had left a load of whites in the dryer…she is back at college, her skivvies and socks will have to wait for her for the next week and a half till she returns for Christmas. Fortunately I know she has colored skivvies too.</p>
<p>My kids are great and I couldn’t be more proud but they are far from perfect. I just adore them warts and all.</p>
<p>My perfect daughter exhibited an amazing new skill over Thanksgiving break: a 100-lb girl who has an astounding ability to haul 60 pounds of dirty laundry on a cross-country airplane trip – for MOM to wash! (or so she thought :D) She’s always been such a thoughtful child.</p>
<p>That’s so true marite – Far away, they seem so wonderful; in the same house, they’re kind of annoying.</p>
<p>Heck, once I realized the glass was cracked, it got a lot easier. I could tell you some stories bout my “perfect” kids, but the names have been changed to protect the innocent. ;)</p>
<p>I also find that people here seem to think their children are angels incapable of making mistakes, but in actuality… their children are just children like everyone else’s. A lot of the time I think those parents just believe what they WANT to believe… </p>
<p>I see my children’s flaws, and I’m sure many of them are because I, myself, am not perfect, but children are children. There is no learning without mistakes. I don’t advertise it when one of them makes a mistake… well, except for the REALLY comical ones. Some days I have lots of things to say about how wonderful my children are, and other days I just keep it to “They are great! How’re your kids?” </p>
<p>I will share a few examples of the more comic moments around my house…</p>
<p>D1 - has a Mensa-worthy IQ, 33 ACT, 3.7 unweighted gpa w/honors & AP, plays 3 instruments… is just a very talented kid. She calls me when I’m on my way home because she is hungry and wants rice. She wants to cook some “Boil-in-Bag” rice from the pantry. I kind of brush her off because, really, I think that she should be able to figure that one out on her own, and I tell her “Just put it in a bowl in the microwave for 10 minutes…” I arrive home to the smell of smoke… she did exactly what I said. She put the bag in a bowl and put it in the microwave for 10 minutes… without water. It was quite blackened.</p>
<p>S - My son (middle child) once caused me to call the Poison Control hotline because when he was about a year old and I wasn’t paying attention, he got my Lansinoh nursing pad and licked/gummed it until all the absorbent stuff inside was swollen and it busted open leaving the “goo” on the floor and all over him… He was in the same room with me and right next to me! I just thought he was being good and playing for a few minutes so I didn’t want to spoil it… turns out the stuff in nursing pads is NOT toxic like the packets of stuff they put in shoe boxes, but just imagine the tone of the operator when she said “He ate WHAT!!!” and then when I repeated what I’d said I hear hysterical laughter before she informs me that it’s nothing to worry about…</p>
<p>D2 - S and D2 are 2 years and 4 days apart in age so, like all close siblings, they tend to aggravate each other on a regular basis. When D2 was almost 2 years old, she was sitting in her high chair eating and S was aggravating her… she whacked him with her toddler spoon… AND GAVE HIM A BLACK EYE! How on earth do you give someone a black eye with a toddler spoon? At around this same age D2 also told me in her most sincere tone that her brother wet her pants…</p>
<p>My mother one time told me that when she has to write a sympathy card to someone whose mother has died she always writes “that it is especially sad to lose your mother because now there is no one in the world who knows you are perfect.” What makes this especially touching for me is that my grandmother died in childbirth when my mother was born.</p>
<p>I know my two sons are perfect. But part of their perfection is their ability to make mistakes and do stupid things.</p>
<p>It’s also worth noting that frequently the flaws of people are simply less interesting than their positive aspects. I’m not social enough, run to arrogance and pretension, and can be socially awkward, and on increasingly rare occasions, goaded into cruelty (though I don’t think my mother knows that last one). I’m also a bad procrastinator and can be lazy.</p>
<p>If my mom was talking about me, she might slip one or two of those in, but I doubt they’d stand out next to the (surely hyperbolic) praise I imagine she lays on when describing me.</p>
<p>And I’ve personally witnessed my mother complain about my sister to others, so there’s that.</p>
<p>In short:
-My son is arrogant: not memorable.
-My son went to a national quiz bowl tournament/was state champion at track/ is an early admit to yale and cooks me a 5 course dinner every tuesday: memorable.</p>
<p>lololu, my mother was (still is) always extremely critical and never thought I was perfect! If I get that in a sympathy card when she dies, it will send me into a fit of hysterical laughter, I predict.</p>
<p>No, I don’t tell my kids’ stupid actions to everyone in the grocery store, but I don’t brag about them either - I just say, yes, she’s doing well, very happy at her school, etc. They have to ask specific questions to get any detail out of me about accomplishments.</p>
<p>itry, absolutely. My kids are often full of it. ;)</p>
<p>Also, OP, you need to check out the fall timeline in any of the parents’ threads (class of 2010, 2009, etc.) to see lots of kvetching about how imperfect our kids are when it comes to filling out college apps. Definitely no perfect kids on there – well, except the teens who hang out there of their own accord! We love our adopted kids on there.</p>
<p>Parents who consider their children to be perfect usually fall into two basic categories:</p>
<p>Those who live life like a script and the script calls for intelligent, successful, athletic and good-looking kids. Sort of like a modern Donna Reed show.</p>
<p>Those with low standards. The fact that their daughter’s room is a pigsty or their son eats like an animal is barely noticed and doesn’t tarnish their belief that the child is miraculous.</p>
<p>I haven’t had this experience much, most people I know are pretty down to earth about their kids (surprising in the area where I live). And I have seen plenty of things on CC where people vent about their kids. </p>
<p>My younger child is one who has received a lot of attention in school both for being smart and for having a smart mouth. He’s one of those kids who’s an attention magnet whether he likes it or not. I have over the years heard many remarks about his being bright, but I tend to downplay this as I don’t like to feed into it.</p>
<p>On the other hand, my older child despite being well known and liked by her peers seemed to be invisible to any adult in the schools. I had to fight (not always successfully) to get her the education level that she needed. Needless to say, it took years for her to realize her academic abilities. I frequently describe her as a top student because despite the lack of attention in the schools she did end up as one of the top students in her class, etc. </p>
<p>On the other hand, by the time she was in the last few years of HS she realized that her “invisibility” allowed her to get away with some things at school (nothing really bad), and she took advantage of that.</p>
<p>the only people I still talk to are those that are honest about their kids…and their lives; I eliminated the so-called rose-colored “toxic” people (for more reasons than just this thread’s topic) about two years ago; coinciding with my older daughter’s senior year of HS…</p>
<p>yea, I talk to alot fewer people…but I am much less frustrated by BS</p>
<p>and, yes, my kids are FAR from perfect ( I hate that word, along with the word “popular” which is a four-letter word in my house…)</p>
<p>Thank you for this thread. I really love it.</p>
<p>MDmom - The butt pic is hilarious. Reminds me of S1. He has been taking pics of himself making funny faces and leaving it on our cameras/cell phones since he was very young. He always makes us laugh and smile (even when he’s a pain in the you-know-what).</p>
<p>lololu - Your mom sounds wonderful.</p>
<p>I tend to be an optimist and try to look on the bright side of things, so I think that probably comes across when I’m talking to others. I’m always trying to look for the good in people, including my sons. I find that what I vocalize seems to make things more real, so I minimize the bad and emphasize the good. </p>
<p>Both my sons have multiple disabilities, one will never be independent, so I try to focus on the positives. Absolutely, there’s a lot of imperfection with them and with all people, including myself. I try to see the “light and funny side” to it and laugh about it as often as possible.</p>
<p>I’m not too fond of the word “perfect.” Not sure what that means or how you measure “perfect.” I have good kids. I’m proud of my kids most of the time. I’m not too much of a “shouda, wouda, couda” person. Are the kids living up to the expectations that we had at the moment of birth? Some days.</p>
<p>Four kids and three of them found the dishwasher the week before they went back to school…we were so proud that our ivy league kids only took 7 weeks to acquire this skill.</p>
when often the parent does not have that same talent. I try to forgive them and enjoy the pleasure they’re obviously feeling (sometimes it’s easier than others).</p>
DS just takes pics up his nose and uses them as my screen saver.</p>