Are you ever worried about the loneliness after transferring?

Transfer Students UC Transfers
1

<p>Indeed, it seems extremely exciting to transfer to a UC, especially if you got into your first choice. But a lot of us are coming from two-year colleges where it seems as if we just got comfortable with those around us and finally found our niche in our colleges. I never thought I'd say this, but I'm really going to miss my two-year college. I'm going to miss all the greetings I get and conversations I end up in whenever I decide to take a stroll around my college. I'm going to miss the professors I have connected with during my time there along with my club advisors. I'm going to miss the affinity I felt with my two-year college due to the memories I made by getting involved. It just kind of sucks having to break a great bond after such a short amount of time. I feel so at home at my two-year that sometimes when I find myself driving without a destination in mind, I end up going to my college because I know that if I were to just walk around, I'll end up finding someone I know and like to talk to (I know - loser =P). </p>

<p>Anyway, I worry that I'll end up feeling lonely upon transferring. I probably won't have time to get as involved as before and will likely dedicate most, if not all, of my time to studying. Does anyone else feel this way?</p>

2

<p>I bet you’re one of those dudes that cries when their girlfriend breaks up with them.</p>

3

<p>Guess you’re not so ready to get out now, huh? Ha ha. I don’t feel that way at all, to be honest. My junior college is full of crazy people… Not too much stimulating conversation going on there. I look forward to experiencing what you have at your JC at UCLA.</p>

4

<p>Getting out of your comfort zone is just a part of life. I think it is safe to say that the majority of us rarely speak to anyone we went to high school with, we will probably never see any of the people we met at our JC, and after 2-3yrs at UC____ we will probably not keep in touch with most of the people we met during those years. Not because we don’t want to, but people move on, get jobs, go to grad/professional school, move out of the state/country. Staying in touch with people just becomes difficult. </p>

<p>I don’t mean to be rude, but you really have to let things go to make the best of what’s ahead. You’ve had a good time at JC, and that’s great, but you should take that for what it is. I think a lot of incoming freshmen and transfers hang on to their high school/junior college experiences and when they are forced out of their comfort zone they blame how “terrible” things are going for them on the institution. You hear people all the time on CC blasting Berkeley, most commonly, claiming that it’s other people who are cold and unwelcoming, the professors overwork their students and hold them to ridiculous standards… and on, and on, and on…</p>

<p>Be happy for this opportunity!</p>

5

<p>Yeah that is a legitimate fear, but it won’t be that way. It is always great to move out of your comfort zone and challenge yourself by moving to a completely new environment.</p>

<p>When you first get there, you might be a little lonely and scared, but by the time you graduate, you feel exactly how you feel about leaving your two-year except it will be 10x the intensity.</p>

<p>I stayed at my JC for an extra year, not because I miss it at al or want to stay in San Diego, I actually have been ready to go for a while. But I failed out of high school and was not definite on a major. I am glad I stayed because I am a much stronger student/applicant, but 3 years at CC is way to ****ing much. Hopefully I’ll be at Berkeley a year from now :/</p>

6

<p>After you transfer just be super nice and outgoing and accepting. Introduce yourself to people and just be friendly. It won’t be very difficult to make new friends.</p>

<p>To be honest, I was also a bit worried about this after reading Obama’s autobiography in which he says he was very lonely after transferring to Columbia. (I was like WHAO this guy literally made friends with 60% of the country but he couldn’t make friends after he transferred?!?!?!) But here are a few things that change that:

  1. Columbia has no centralized campus whereas all the UCs do.
  2. Obama lived off-campus.
  3. There was no Facebook</p>

<p>It really shouldn’t be difficult at all to meet new people and makes friends after you transfer. Join clubs, be friendly and outgoing, utilize social networking sites, and your problem will be solved. :)</p>

7

<p>I’m really sad that I’ll only be at Berkeley for two years. And then I’m out in the real world…it’s just…I worked so hard to get into Cal, and I only get 2 years??</p>

<p>It depends on your outlook. I’m so excited to be so far away from home and becoming a part of a new family at Cal. I hope to meet so many people (I plan to join the Greek system) and that Cal will give me the best memories of my life.</p>

8

<p>you don’t “have to” transfer… you can stay at your community college for as long as you want, and just transfer when you’re ready.</p>

<p>haha :)</p>

9

<p>You know what…I didn’t feel a single one of those things at my community college. In fact, if you take just about everything you said and make it opposite day, that would be my experience. :smiley:
GO BRUINS!
Lmao</p>

10

<p>Uhhh…no? </p>

<p>Junior college is supposed to “prepare” you (yeah right) for a UC/CSU setting, it’s only part of the process when you actually do transfer and head off somewhere. It’s like you moving away from home, you might not want to do it at first but you’ll have to. </p>

<p>I’ve met a bunch of great people at my CC some that will go on to UCLA with me next year but I mean…I still have their phone numbers if I really need to catch up with them and next year we’re having a reunion since we were in a bunch of clubs together. The UC you picked has a bunch more people than your CC, don’t worry about making friends because if you put yourself out there, then you won’t be lonely. If you don’t however and are a hermit crab, then perhaps there is justification to your claim, lol. </p>

<p>Have fun!!! I will! :)</p>

11

<p>Well, I hope this will reassure you a lil bit!
I’m 21 now, so this story started 3 years ago.
Most of my life, I grew up in Pittsburgh, PA (I know, I know…but I escaped evetually!)
After I graduated high school, I was SO excited to get away and had never moved ever before. This was huge change #1.</p>

<p>I moved to New Orleans for college. After 1 week, for some reason, it clicked that I knew nobody and I was scared. So, I went into a deep depression (and mind you I had never been depressed before, and I am a very social person!) Needless to say, I ended up making friends by the end of the semester, a lot, too (just putting it out there haha), but I ended up withdrawing.</p>

<p>The next fall, I enrolled again, this time at a different college. A month before I enrolled (this was Fall of 2008), my dad moved us all to los angeles, with not a lot of time to spare. So, I had TWO (yes 2!) additional foreign places to get used to: los angeles and miami (though I had been to miami before).</p>

<p>I was doing fine at miami til the economy tanked, and after that year I had to leave (really embarassing story!) It was easier this time around to meet friends though, having been through the separation and all that-And I’m happy to say there was no depression this time haha!</p>

<p>Then, (almost done), I went to community b/c I figured I could transfer to a UC if I had to leave miami (Regretfully). It was not fun. The classes were fine but I met NOBODY. Well, I met people but nobody sticked. It was an antisocial environment if ever there was one lol. But, that just goes to show you, by this point in my life, being 21, I’ve had to essentially “restart” 4 times, and meet a whole new group of people that many too.</p>

<p>It’s proven to be so entertaining and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I’ve met some amazing people and, though it was for me, really tough to adjust fo ra month, it got better really fast.</p>

<p>And, just if that wasn’t enough, because I’m going to a uc that’ll be 5 times. let’s see if I can continue meeting people</p>

<p>That’s my story-as fo ryou, don’t worry. It’s only one move… not 5. Just go to clubs, meet people, and be open to new things. Everybody’s in the same position anyways :)</p>

12

<p>You can’t pick a username like “soreadytogetout” and then freak when it’s time to go. :wink:
You did the JC thing, you socialized, and you learned from it. It took you two years to get comfortable, make it two months at Cal. Be outgoing, meet people. Talk to everyone. Seriously. When I was up there checking out the campus I was just walking up to random students talking to them about how they like it and asking questions about the school, I didn’t have a single person snub me. I’m not saying Berkeley students are the nicest people in the world, I’m sure just like anywhere else it’s full of ***holes, but I didn’t run into any. Everyone seemed really nice and open to meeting people, in fact a few of the people who I met insisted on adding to my facebook so we could chill when I get up there. I dunno where you’re transferring from, but if it’s SoCal just know that people up north are a hell of a lot nicer than we are… LoL.</p>

13

<p>For me it’s the exact opposite. My CC was a total commuter school. It wasn’t uncommon to have 2 or 3 classes with someone and still not know their name. More often then not people would just sit in class, NOT SAY *****, and then just go home right after. Sure you’d meet 5 or so cool people per class, but you never really saw them outside of school. I’m a pretty friendly dude, but that’s just the way things were at my school. People were waaay anti-social. </p>

<p>When I asked this kid to study for a Chem test once, he said “Don’t even trip bro, all you need to worry about is hitting that next blunt, or hitting that ass.” I was just like well damn… no wonder I never bothered to learn your name. Going to a university is going to be soooooo much better.</p>

14

<p>““Don’t even trip bro, all you need to worry about is hitting that next blunt, or hitting that ass.” I was just like well damn… no wonder I never bothered to learn your name.”</p>

<p>Bwahaha! What a tool! Not you, but that guy… jesus.</p>

15

<p>just bring some sweet bud and everyone will want to be your friend.</p>

16

<p>What everyone said. It just takes effort, really. I think it’ll work out for you considering your legit concern about not being able to hash time for socializing. If you really feel that way, then you’re going to want to try and do whatever it takes to not feel lonely. Often times, you don’t have to try hard at all. There will be other people who probably feel the same way as you do, and will be open to making new friends during classes and clubs. Since you seem outgoing enough at your CC, just keep that momentum with you at your new school.</p>

17

<p>I worry a little sometimes but I’m a pretty friendly person so I’ll probably meet lots of ppl at Berkeley :D</p>

<p>And the lack of intellectualism and having-sh1t-together at my CC is bugging me. But, nonetheless, I’m enjoying my time here as I’m sure the load at Berkeley won’t be so slack like over here.</p>

<p>Join clubs that peak your interest, get out and have random convos with people. That’s what I’m planning to do. If you’re going to live in dorms, that’ll be a plus :)</p>

18

<p>Great thread.</p>

<p>I’m pretty nervous but anything’s gotta be better than my CC. I made a few good friends and went to some okay parties, that’s about the only good that came out of my CC experience so I don’t care if it’s going to be hard to make friends when I transfer. It really could not be harder than it has been for the past couple of years. I’m gonna miss my family, friends and Southern California in general, but that’s about it.</p>

<p>Don’t sweat it. The transition period will be tough but you’ll adapt to your new environment soon enough, as will we all I hope. :)</p>