I’m curious about norms and practices around this: Of the notifications your kid has already received (through online admission portals in most cases), for how many of those was one or more parents in the same room as the kid?
My D17 says she prefers the “dying cat” approach (retreating to a dark space to check the results alone). I totally get it. I did ask her if I could be in the same room for two lower-stakes notifications later today just because I’m so dang curious about the process (and it’s so different from getting thin letter or big envelope in the mail 30 years ago!). We discussed whether that was weird and helicopter-parenty or supportive and involved. No resolution.
So, for a structured response, format could be: # of notifications for which 1+ parent was in the room/total # of notifications received to date.
D17 is at 0/8 so far. Hopefully 2/10 after tonight, lol. Open-ended responses also of interest!
We are in a western time zone and D is applying at colleges in the east, so notifications usually come mid-afternoon and both parents are at work. So no, I’m not usually there, but it isn’t a specific preference.
I’m sorry to hear about the 0/8! D is 4/5, waiting on 4 more including her top choice coming today.
Just to clarify - the 0/8 is # of notifications for which a parent has been present in the room. She’s actually doing great on decisions - 1 EA referral, 1 waitlist, 1 EE, 5 accepts. 
I answered the phone for three accepts, so yes, I was there. The other 9 acceptances or rejections, she was on her own. She wanted it that way.
@itsatruth I feel better already! Thanks for the clarification
Nope. She got them all herself. Mainly because they came to her phone (via email), at school.
My mom just stares at me until I check the portal so yes she’s been there for all notifications. Reacts accordingly, which is cool.
I did watch my D pull her first acceptance out of the mailbox, but that was the only one that came snail mail. The rest she found out through email or a portal, and I was not around. Honestly, I don’t want to be there! Too nerve-wracking for me.
i think i have actually found out every decision first and told my son. it’s been about 12 so far. he does not seem to mind hearing the news from me and has not told me to stop doing it that way.
So @Wien2NC: Are you going onto the portals yourself with S’s logins and passwords and checking the results yourself?
I like them to own that moment. They did the work, it is their result. That’s just me. Most I do is say I think results are up and she might want to check - she doesn’t really follow when things are coming out, they just show up or she gets the email. That’s why USC’s agonizing wait is so worth it (if you get accepted) - they get to have the mailbox moment ahead of the portal update (which can be a little dull considering how big a moment it is).
@CADREAMIN - Agreed! The Reed Epic Box was pretty great for that reason. (Although my husband took a picture of it and texted it to D17 so I guess she didn’t find that one out herself.
@itisatruth I have written about this before a couple times - but seriously, one of top 10 parent memories is letting my son out of the car to get the mail (sorta rural - so mailbox is end of long driveway like on the commercials ha). I had him start getting mail at beginning of college season so it didn’t seem suspicious to ask him. I still see it in slow motion in my mind - he unknowingly gets the mail like everyday. As I sit in the drivers seat waiting, he walks over, he opens the mailbox and looks in, then stops for a second (the moment of, “is that what I think it is?”), looks back towards me with this expression and this look in his eyes that are unforgettable - then looks inside again and reaches in, pulling out the giant bright yellow/golden envelope from USC. Seeing that in his hand and the excitement on his face - that moment of pure joy - priceless. I didn’t ruin it or miss it by trying to get a picture or take a video - I let it play out - and it was the best. That will stay with me. He graduates this year.
@Itisatruth
most of them came in the mail, which i usually get. the first 1 or 2 i brought to him and he said, “well, open it,” so i have been doing that since.
now i just open all the college mail since so much of it is paperwork that we have to act on right away or file away in a safe place. i have been telling him about college acceptances, invitations to honors colleges or special programs, scholarship awards, opportunities for scholarships or special programs that he should look into applying for, financial aid, all that stuff. there is so much to keep track of and so much that can get overlooked or fall thru the cracks, that i think he appreciates having another person keeping track of it all and reminding him of the next important deadline.
i do have his school email info which i check for important college stuff like financial aid documentation. when the Northwestern thread started blowing up here, i logged on and found his decision while he was out with a friend. i told Mom the good news first and she insisted on doing the honors and calling him. he was shocked and ecstatic and they were both happily shouting on the phone (or so i heard – i was not there). he’s the sort of kid who would not want us to set important information aside so he could get to it later – he would want us to find out right away and tell him as soon as possible.
i would not be surprised if we are the only family that does it this way, but it seems to work for him.
@CADREAMIN
that was a really nice story … thanks for sharing it, and congratulations.
@CADREAMIN - Love your story!
I have a friend whose son wanted to wait to open his ED decision (by portal) until she and her husband were both home from work. She was like, that’s nice honey, but you can open it without us. He said he wanted to wait. She kept trying to persuade him otherwise. He wouldn’t budge. She was dying to know! Her son was much more patient and waited several hours for his parents to arrive home, thereby creating a nice family memory when the portal displayed a great big yes.
I’ve randomly been there when my sons open their portals but not in front of the screen. I’m usually the second person to know.
I’ve been first to see the scholarship awards (the competitive ones) that come through the mail. I get home from work a good hour to two before they would arrive and the mail is there when I get there. I don’t open the envelopes- but I do use a very bright LED flashlight in a very dark room. I display the appropriate response when they open their envelopes.
No. We are never in the room when she looks. I do tell her that decisions are out and to go check but I wait for her to check on her own time. She informs us sometime later that day.
I’ve never been in the room when she opened a portal or letter. She has checked her decisions by herself which I fully support since the process is so personal that I understand the desire for privacy.
I did watch through the window once when she got a decision through snail mail. I was mostly watching out of habit since she wasn’t expecting the decision that day, but the sight of her face when she got the acceptance is something I will remember forever.
I have been with my D for all but 1 of her decisions. She has asked me to be there, which I appreciate.