<p>My D, a senior has been putting out feelers about doing a short inexpensive road trip with 3 girls, just to bond/celebrate/hang-out (using her own $).Even though they are all excellent students, mature, well-behaved, good judgement etc., H and I are very nervous about something like this, and would rather they went wild for a week right here in hometown, and came home every night. Obviously they are going away to college, for 4 years, and can do whatever they want then anyway, so are we being Grinches, or what?</p>
<p>I had the same feeling when my son said he wanted to go to Europe last summer (he was a HS senior then). It worked out very well for him and the 3 other kids he went with: 2 girls and another boy. He spent most of his own money, some of mine but was sparing with it. Lived in Youth hostels and the like; sometimes doubling up in good hotel rooms. In the end, the kids were bickering a little with each other but it worked out. They did not have wild drinking binges as I thought they would. They ordered some really cheap wine in Paris where the drinking age is 16 (according to him) and it was so bad that left it on the table, paid and left. They were pretty responsible; even about keeping in touch with us through email and such.</p>
<p>We, the parents were pretty uptight about it in the beginning; and anxious as well. We learned to relax around the second week or so.</p>
<p>Last summer, D mentioned the possibility of backpacking through Europe with her GFs. B/c both she and her older brother are graduating in June, we may end up going on a family vacation (maybe to Hawaii) to celebrate, so no peep about a road trip since then. Reality has set in, and I think she's thinking now of working to make some money for school.</p>
<p>if you are willing to trust your kids to go away to college and live on their own, not asking for your approval for every little thing they want to do, then you should be willing to let them take the trip.. just my two cents. i mean, i go off and do what i want.. and i don't ask to do it - i just go. i tell my parents where i'm going, or at least leave them a little note, and i keep my cell phone with me, and everything is fine... i'm 22 now, but i've been doing things this way since high school.</p>
<p>Thanks Achat. What do other parents let their kids do as far as celebrating a milestone. It is definitely a landmark event, and many of our kids have worked SOOOOOO hard. Definitely more than I ever had to at that age. How far away have you let your children go, and for how long, and do you just take lots of tranqs or antacids?</p>
<p>I did this the summer before college with one girl friend. We slept on the beach (and came back from a bike ride to find our tent had blown away) and in campgrounds as well as in a few cheap hotels. We had major car trouble and had to deal with that. All in all we learned a lot, made some lasting memories and grew up a little. We still laugh about it. (Gas was 19 cents a gallon so it really was a cheap road trip!) </p>
<p>I would definitely let her go.</p>
<p>this didn't come up as my daughter was continuing her job at a residential camp and was preparing to do a year of volunteer work with Americorps.
As her jobs were mainly volunteer ( teaching riding didn't pay much), she wouldn't have had the money to spend a few weeks driving around and didn't say anything about it.
A friend did take a road trip ( with her mom) as it would be a long time before her mom got to spend as much time with her. My daughter did comment that she was glad I didn't suggest anything like that!
She did have a culminating experience backpacking with virtually all of her seniorclass through the FourCorners area, and she did take small road trips to visit friends who were already away at college.
Technically since she was 18 by end of school year, she could have done whatever she wanted, but that wasn't something that was of interest.
I didn't do anything like it, and I frankly would have been very nervous about traveling without checking in and an intinerary. Too many weirdows and I have known too many people who have been killed or harmed by being so casual about their wellbeing unfortunately.</p>
<p>Chocoholic, I hear your angst over this, believe me. It is a big step letting your kid go travel on their own in the way you describe. I know I would be a little hesitant. In high school, my kids never were allowed that level of independent travel to that degree. However, at some point, we have to let them go and move to the next level of "adulthood" as difficult as it is for us. I am letting my daughter likely drive, with a friend, to Alaska this summer. Now, this is a BIG deal to me. The furthest she has driven the car alone is about two hours away and that was just in the past couple of weeks. She has traveled extensively but always with some supervision. I am not sure I could have let her do this the summer after graduation. But she is now a college freshman and I feel she has been on her own and the time has come for me to let her go to this next level to do these sorts of things. Then again, she is just 18, which is likely your daughter's age (she is the youngest kid in her grade, or WAS where we live) and so chronologically there is not much difference I bet between your D and mine, so why not let your D go. The difference is that mine has a year of "independence" in college under her belt and I guess that makes me more ready for this trip thing. But I know many kids who have done stuff like Europe or what your D wants to do the summer after senior year so I guess if this came up, I might have let her then but feel a bit more ready now that she has been on her own more. Like your D, she is mucho responsible so that part is not of issue. Maybe for your D, you can talk about how far she'd go, how she'd be keeping in touch daily to let you know she got to each destination safely and so forth. The big break, in my view, is when they leave for college and at some point, us parents have to adjust to letting them do way more on their own than in high school. I guess I have a year of that under my belt, or will come summer, and so I am maybe a bit more ready than you though I am sure I will be nervous. But I know I have to let go and frankly at that age, I did things on my own like this so I have to let her as well. </p>
<p>I guess I would suggest being open to the idea and maybe there are a few restrictions involved, it would all depend. Good luck. She is growing up. </p>
<p>Susan</p>
<p>I'm all set to let my son do a road trip for part of this summer. The current back-of-the-brain idea is that since a couple of his buddies might also be heading from CA to the Boston area for college in the fall, they might work locally for the first part of the summer, then perhaps jointly buy (or maybe "I" will buy) a VW camper-van and they'll pack it up and do the x-c roadtrip, unloading and maybe selling the van on craigslist once they get to Boston.</p>
<p>Sounds crazy and slightly impractical to me: just about right! :-)</p>
<p>Over30; tent blew away,that's hysterical ! And I admire your independence Fendergirl!
I think you have to consider where all this is leading. Oldest went to Mexico to do volunteer work and met so many backpackers, backpackers from Australia and Europe, that backpacking became his next challenge after he saved . Then a h.s. friend got a job managing a youth hostel and that led to more trips abroad. And every time he goes I worry terribly but can't do a thing about it. (If you can't do anything about it, you may as well admire it!)
My 23 yr old daughter, then 22, drove cross country with girlfriends last June.Again I was very worried and could do nothing about it. She called every day and one thing that I noticed was the trip went much faster than I anticipated. They were across the country in a week and had even made numerous side trips to interesting places. So it will pass quickly. But I don't think it's a safe thing for a few girls to do, especially if they are young. If I had a choice I would try to influence my daughter to study somewhere instead- at least there is a goal or project, not meandering about.</p>
<p>My best friends and I are going to Mexico after graduation, which is also my birthday! Anyway, our mom's are all buddies too and they are coming with, this is one way to get over your nerves, come along! We don't mind at all I think it will be fun to be with my mom</p>
<p>If my son had money (but he doesn't) I'd urge him to go to Europe. I would not encourage him to head to Florida or some place like that with his friends. I'd want them to learn something - and not just hang on a beach. Again, he'd have to be paying for it himself.</p>
<p>See, my D will only turn 18 in Sept., but she has travelled extensively with the family. She has gone away before, but in completely supervised situations. Last summer was the first time she went away, 2 week internship, but stayed at a family friend's house in Toronto.
I am leaning more towards a destination that they would fly to, and then stay put for 2 weeks, than a random road-trip, that involves gas-stations, rest stops, and so many variables.
Plus none of them have that much driving experience the belt either.</p>
<p>I would go for Europe, but it has been horribly expensive in the last 2 years. But you are right, I would feel a lot safer with them being in Europe than Florida!!</p>
<p>a friend whose children are younger but who is a year older than me had this post high school experience.
She wanted to get out of Rochester MInn, ( but not too far out apparently she went to Northfield where she attended college for a year). That was too much snow for her, so she and a friend pledged to earn enough money to go to Europe. They waitressed for a year saving their money, ( they were now about 20) and went to Europe, my friend went to Paris and her friend went to Germany. She lived there for a little over a year , working as an aupair when she needed money, seeing the sights of Europe , practicing her French, and apparently getting to know many Europeans, ( mostly men it seems), she rarely contacted her family or even thought about them although they weren't estranged or anything, her hormones had just kicked in, and they took precedence!
Then after almost two years she came back to the states, took a few classes, but got wanderlust again and hitchhiked through Mexico for several months, meeting people and traveling with them, staying in hostels or on the beach, but also having several close shaves with Mexican officials who thought they were drug smugglers.
She is keeping a closer eye on her daughter and would probably not be thrilled if her daughter suggested a similar trip</p>
<p>When a h.s. senior ions ago I did the spring break in Ft Lauderdale thing. Yes, there is much unlicensed drinking. But there are also Jesus freaks roaming about preaching morality and nice kids also about 'with a friend'. So, yes there was drinking and craziness, but I did not drink and it was fun. The 'fun' was the fact there were so many young people and many of them ordinary kids. BUT I wouldn't let or pay for any of my kids to do this sort of thing today.</p>
<p>Chocoholic, Europe has been expensive in the past 2 years. But if you eat cheap and live cheaply, it isn't bad. We just came back from a one-week trip to Spain and we ate inexpensively. Our food costs were just $450-$500 for a week for 3 people and that too because we had one slightly "expensive" meal at an Astorian restaurant. We're mostly vegetarian these days. The hotels were around 85 euros a night because we booked in advance. Although the euro is now $1.35! The kids lived in EU 25 a night rooms (doubling up in each) when they went for the summer. It is a matter of planning way ahead.</p>
<p>S mentioned something about backpacking across Europe next summer but we said we wouldn't fund that. It's possible to get addicted to the backpacker's lifestyle.</p>
<p>He's flying back to school today on an around-the-world ticket (same price), so he will get eight days in London in May. </p>
<p>AS for the level of partying...have you seen the show 'Wild On"? Uh huh. That's what's going on. Presumably, after a year at college, your kids have a sense of how to handle themselves. If not, they will have to sort that out through trial and error. It isn't something Mom and Dad can convey, IMHO.</p>
<p>Achat; Oh , where did you go in Spain? How nice.</p>