Compmom- there’s a difference between a kid with an eating disorder whose weight and behaviors are being well managed with appropriate mental health and physical health monitoring, vs. a kid who is in treatment but has yet to stabilize. I think the family in case number 1 will have a punch list of what they are looking for, both on campus and off, to support their kid for four years (or more). I think the family in case number 2 is engaging in severe magical thinking if they think that putting their kid in a dorm with new social surroundings, academic pressures, and an entirely new medical team is going to be conducive to continued recovery. Better to stabilize first- then “go away” to college.
I believe this is the point Hanna is trying to make. Hanna- correct me if I’m wrong…
I think colleges vary in how well they handle these issues, as well. A kid we know was in a suite in which one of the other girls attempted suicide. A couple of weeks later, she was back in the suite. It was a very difficult semester for her suitemates (and for her as well, of course). They were asked to keep her from doing certain behaviors–which she soon resumed. I don’t think every school would handle it this way.
It is a heart breaking scenario for all involved. I understand what you are saying Compmon, but if the student can’t function at the college or in the dorm, what accommodations can the school offer that will solve the problem? There certainly seem to be things Yale could do to make the re-entry easier such as interviewing over the phone and deciding earlier and making sure there is a seat for a kid that takes a medical leave - either for mental or physical health issues (with some conditions).
I know kids who have been very successful in college after having significant issues with depression in high school. I also, very sadly, have a good friend whose child committed suicide in college. That parent would clearly much prefer to have her kid back with her, even if it meant the child never finished college.
I have another friend whose daughter had a highly depressed freshman roommate. After quite a bit of turmoil, she eventually told the RA that this girl was in trouble, and the depressed girl was required to withdraw from the college. The parents were furious at my friend’s daughter, feeling that the school should have kept her there.
I also wonder if some colleges are leery about making the criteria too loose, so that a student that gets into academic trouble could cite a mental health condition and withdraw late in the semester and come back easily. Sorry if that sounds cynical, but I wonder if that is the case in some places.
Regarding the Yale thread, I posted that I felt that student benefited from being forced to leave. And no doubt so did other students.
I think my posts here are being misinterpreted. I tried to clarify in my last post.
A kid with bipolar disorder who has been dealing with it for some time will not be “asymptomatic” at all times. A kid with type 1 diabetes will still have lows and a kid with a seizure disorder may have breakthroughs. Lupus will flare unpredictably. Depesssion will return.
The world operates on the idea that people get sick and then get better, as a discrete event. My only problem is with the idea that those with certain challenges should wait until they are “better” and have no symptoms, to move forward to college.
it may be dancing on the head of a pin but is an important thing to say. And yes, I have kids with various health challenges and yes they took medical leaves but they finished and thrived despite continuing symptoms. It was a matter of having symptoms in a range that could be dealt with and accommodated.
No school will ever require a student in a wheelchair to be able to walk in order to attend. I think there are parallels with other disabilities that are less visible. That is the whole point of the Americans with Disabilties Act.
Thanks compmom. Always glad to learn on these complex issues and sorry if you were misunderstood. What is the correct terminology to describe a kid that has some history of mental health challenges but is ok to return to schools? Stable? What does the school need to know to protect the student and ensure his or her success? Not trying to put you on the spot here.
It is such a complex issue. I completely agree that there should be no discrimination and reasonable accommodations.