Thanks @jdewey !
@natakwali I think one of your example just got blow out of the water. Without any real evidence, Ailes is fired. Guilty without ever having his day in court. You still think @Center is wrong? What about the Duke incidence? All I can say is that as someone that coaches and teaches young females, I am never along
@laenen yes. I am a woman.
“They [school officials] didn’t even call the senior’s mother, who was furious to have heard nothing from Exeter, or ask whether the family wanted to report the episode to the police.”
Is this a common practice? What do schools typically report to parents and what they don’t? Who makes these decisions? Is there a protocol? Does it differ by school?
UVA , Duke, PEA, Ailes and St Pauls and there are many other examples of this. Political correctness is so extreme that women accusers are believed with little to no evidence and males are immediately guilty. Michaella Henry wasn’t raped she was groped. I hardly call this “assault” but laws being what they are any unwanted touching may qualify depending on the state. This young woman went to the basement with him. According to her he grabbed her twice and that was it, okay the boy was a boor and thought he was going to engage in something with her but for grabbing her twice, his life is ruined? She certainly doesn’t seem devastated in this fundraising appeal from three months ago. I love how the school gave her a grant. PEA clearly handled this badly. I suspect they didn’t view her complaint as legitimate either. Nonetheless those decisions are not for the schools to judge. All incidents should be reported to the authorities immediately and each party should obtain the services of legal counsel. The school should not be involved and should wait to make decisions about the students until the legal system has run its course. I suspect this young man will ultimately be exonerated. All parents should warn their sons to be careful of their actions at all times. If a girl can say anything they want with impunity behaving like a gentleman may not be sufficient to avoid retribution by an angry spurned girl.
I agree parents are a child’s first teacher, so parents have to take responsbility for sending off their students with the right behavior. This includes teaching their child that groping anyone isn’t respectful whether it is assault in some states or not. Physically handling anyone without their permission isn’t respectful and should not be tolerated.
Again, I hope this is also a wakeup call to schools. Schools bear responsibility for safety. Academic honor codes have their place and character formatoin and fostering “grit” does too, but overemphasis on those at the expense of basics isn’t smart.
Boarding school communities have to get back to teaching respect, and I include respect for all, peer to peer, students for teachers and teachers for students.
Yes, his life may be “ruined” by his decision to commit sexual assault (as defined by the laws in New Hampshire) on a classmate. That was his decision. He sowed the wind, and now gets to reap the whirlwind.
That she was financially dependent on the school means the balance of power in the interview with the Reverend was not equal; it likely took a great deal of courage to speak up about the assault.
Note that this all likely would not have come to light, had the school chosen to mete out appropriate consequences to him for his actions, such as a loss of signal honors. Of course, that would have had to been reported to colleges. Then again, it should have been reported to colleges anyway.
And, you know, prep school students do choose to hang out with friends. They even hang out with friends of the opposite sex, often in public places. They live at school. If your child has a friend of the opposite gender visiting, do you sit with the two of them every moment? If a female schoolmate came over to stuff envelopes for a community service project, would you sit at the table with them?
Unrealistic at best. To put this in context, students are sent home from schools for lying about their actions. They can receive consequences for behavior which would be unexceptional at home. They can receive consequences for going too far from campus without permission. The school’s disciplinary process is not determined by the state’s laws. The school officials had a legal duty to report sexual assault. They did not do that.
Ailes got sooo much money for being “fired”, it was actually obscene. I doubt he was actually fired. There were probably major negotiations to get Ailes to choose to leave, and in those negotiations, Ailes received $40 million. FORTY MILLION DOLLARS! Snikes. I can’t even comprehend how much money that is.
On top of that, Megyn Kelly recently gave a statement describing how Ailes had sexually harassed her. It’s pretty unlikely that ALL the women who have accused him are lying. Or that they will get $40 million out of this.
So, yeah. I still believe Center is wrong.
@Center
It seems that he really grabbed her twice and she reported only what happened, on account of both students. Are you suggesting that she was supposed to keep quite about it to protect the boy’s bright future?
Severity of consequence of grabbing a classmate’s butt against her will and how to call it is defined and decided by school and legal authorities, and beyond her. If you don’t agree with that it is called sexual assault, or consequence of the action, at least she is not to be blamed for those.
(@laenen Re: Your comment about Duke. I hadn’t heard of it, so I went to do some extra research.)
@Center
“Political correctness is so extreme that women accusers are believed with little to no evidence and males are immediately guilty.” You aren’t including any qualifiers in this. There are cases where it does happen like you said, like UVA and Duke, but they are far and few in between and they DO NOT negate the many more cases of women being disbelieved or not taken seriously when they actually are harassed/assaulted. The UVA case was due to some egregious journalism. It seems that the reason the Duke case got so far was because the district attorney was doing something wacky.
We already discussed PEA. What Michaella said happened, did happen, and according to state law, what happened was sexual assault. In addition, Michaella was not taken seriously for several months when she first reported the case.
I just responded to Ailes’s situation.
I didn’t follow St. Paul’s because I was just about to go to boarding school at the time and I didn’t want to know. It seems like the girl went through some serious harassment after her report.
This paragraph stood out to me: “During Labrie’s criminal trial, which began in August 2015, the victim’s name leaked and ■■■■■■ posted intimate information about her and her family online — including photos of the victim’s 8-year-old sister, the family’s address and rape threats addressed at the victim.”
Yeah, well, that’s all I got. I’m bowing out, because I’ve made my case. All the best.
Boys should be taught how to respect women and to know “no means no” from early on. There’s no doubt about it. That being said, not to defend the boys who are guilty of sexual assault, teenage boys are in this stage when hormone can get the best of them, sometimes driving them to struggle mightily to control a rebellious body of their own. I’m sure many adults especially men can relate. With the kind of exposure to sexual explicit contents 24/7 and the perceived mixed messages from girls of about the same age who are also dealing with the uncertainty and confusion as part of the growing pain, boys have a higher risk of acting out. Parents, teachers, and school administrators should be aware of the complexity of the underlying causes of the sexual assault charges. We want to take preventative measures when possible and give the boys who make mistakes a second chance when there’s a good reason… Now, fire on… 
@panpacific, I agree with preventive measures. I even included preventing ruining life of the potential aggressor as one of the reasons to my dd that she should be aware of her safety and psychology of people around her, as crimes are often opportunistic. I believe that her studying developmental psychology helped her to understand what boys go through, and understand who they are, no less and no more.
On the other hand, many 13~15 years old girls do not have benefit of studying developmental psychology in depth nor vast life experience, and have only vague, superficial understanding even with all the related education. Science also shows that they can simply be petrified with incoming danger. That’s why laws are made to protect them.
Therefore when it comes to between a girl giving the mixed messages (or just freezing out) and a boy acting on his perception, I see it clearly as the aggressor’s responsibility. And I hope that you didn’t mean covering up the incident like it never happened by giving a second chance.
@SculptorDad Oh of course that’s not what I meant. I meant for aggressions that didn’t cause serious damage, and can be characterized as “an opportunistic error” or “good kid caught up in a moment of stupidity”, leniency is applied so the boys can have a chance to learn from mistakes without paying too much of price for one stupid mistake…
@panpacific, I agree. In fact, without knowing more details, I wonder if PEA ended up making it worse for the boy by trying to cover it up.
Yes, boys and girls can be affected by hormones, but its not enough of an excuse to exonerate behavior. We all have to accept consequences of our behavior…it doesn’t matter that “the hormones made me do it.”
MODERATOR’S NOTE:
Reminder: This is not the parents forum, so the amount of leeway on OT discussion is much less. If you want to discuss Roger Alles on a subject not related to sexual misconduct, there is already a thread for that.