As a HS freshman, am I doing enough? If so, how do I stop being so neurotic over whether I am?

Pre-College Issues High School Life
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I’m a HS freshman, and my ultimate dream is to be accepted into an Ivy League school; I know they’re all crapshoots but I feel that I could possibly get into at least one with enough hard work. It’s been a semester and, for the most part, I think I’m doing okay at working towards that goal. (4.0 UW, and classes are all AP, dual enrollment w/ local college, or honors. Row JV crew 4x a week, and am decent at it. Am the only freshman from my school to make All-State choir. Am active in Model UN, Science Olympiad, Biology Olympiad, Math Madness, and Mu Alpha Theta, and just tried out for Academic Olympics. Volunteer at a local elementary school once a week.)

  • Am I doing enough, or should I up my level of involvement in things in order to be competitive at the Ivy League level? My main concern is that nothing I’m doing shows “leadership/initiative” – I’m just participating in things, not starting them. I go to a highly competitive HS, and people (granted, mainly upperclassmen) are founding clubs, starting small businesses, organizing charity events, saving homeless children in Africa left and right. Do colleges expect freshmen to be doing that from the get-go? I’m just a bit scared because I don’t really have a clue what field I want to major in (aside from "something STEM or business"), and as such don’t know what area to center my extracurriculars around in order to show passion.
  • If I am indeed doing enough, how do I stop being so constantly neurotic about the whole thing? It’s one of the main things I think about nowadays (has been for a loooooooong time, but especially now), and I’m pretty sure my worrying over it annoys my family and friends. Aside from getting off this site because I know that’s what y’all are going to say, how do I keep myself from obsessing over it? Thanks :-)
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No one can fix this but you. The two things I will say are:

  • Top colleges want people who a interested and interesting. And they can spot posers who've obsessed about. You recs from teachers and GCs are particularly telling in this area. Maybe read "How To Be a High School Superstar" by Cal Newport.
  • Your life is not over -- in fact, it is barely impacted if you go to a college other than an Ivy. The Ivy League is a sports league, for crying out loud. You could go to hundreds of other colleges, and likely end up in a similar spot in life. Fit should be more important than prestige when you start deciding where to apply. And you are a freshman -- you hardly know yourself well enough to know what might fit best. Stop thinking about it altogether until junior year.
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@intparent

I know, and I mainly want intellectual stimulation. I am in a gifted program + have been accelerated multiple times in science, math, and history, and I’m still bored waiting for other people to understand the concepts. I would like to be able to learn in a climate where I’m not the best in the class and am genuinely challenged every day, and it has been repeatedly drilled into me by family, friends and others that a top school is where I will find those kinds of classes, instructors, and students. For that purpose, I realize I’d most likely be just as happy at an honors college at a state university - I recognize that there are many places where I would probably be satisfied, and that I have the potential to land a decent job no matter where I attend school, but the Ivy League is just a dream I’ve had since I was a kid that I think might someday be in reach.

I have an excellent relationship with my teachers and GCs. They have gone to bat for me on numerous occasions, and (because my school is a combination of middle/high) my positive relationship with my GC is why I’ve been able to repeatedly accelerate myself in the first place.

The only reason that I made this thread is because at my high school a sizable percentage of the kids are doing the level of activities I listed above, and that makes me nervous that I’m not doing enough. My entire life does not hinge on an Ivy acceptance, but it is something I have wanted for a long time, and I would like to know if I am beginning to go about achieving my goal in the correct manner. That is all.

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“As a HS freshman, am I doing enough?”

I have two concerns. One is that you might be doing too much. The other is that you are going what you think that the universities want you to do.

I think that you should relax, and do what YOU want to do. When the time comes, find a university that appreciates what you have done. You are obviously an intelligent and active student. I think that if you keep ahead in your classes and do what feels right to you, then you will do well.

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@chrysalism I’m with @DadTwoGirls. You need to be doing what you want to be doing, not what you think someone else wants you to be doing. There is no doubt that you will have many college options and if you are meant to be at an Ivy, you’ll get there. I know several kids that insisted they wanted to go Ivy - but once they got there, they weren’t really happy. My biggest concern as an outsider reading your posts is that if you are this stressed in high school, as a freshman, what are you going to be like in college with kids equally or smarter than you are? Obviously, continute to do your best but please go have some fun.

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@chrysalism You have more than enough extracurriculars. If anything, I recommend scaling back a bit so you don’t get burned out. Leadership positions will come as you become an upperclassman, so I wouldn’t worry about that either. I’d pick a few activities that you genuinely enjoy and focus on them.

My daughter just started college this year. Of the students we know that got into Ivy League schools or similar (Stanford, U of Chicago), none of them had cured cancer, coauthored a scientific publication, or had national level awards. Aside from the basic academic stats necessary to be considered, two were strong in science/math, one was involved in musical theater, and one was an actor. They were all nice, genuine people who were well liked by their teachers and peers. Of these, one got rejected or waitlisted from multiple top 20 schools and got a single Ivy acceptance and that is where she went.

Many equally capable students struck out at those top 20 schools or got in and couldn’t afford them and went on to honors programs at public universities and are all very happy first year students.

Before your Ivy dreams expand even further, do verify that your parents are willing and able to afford them. They can run their financials through something called the Net Price Calculator (every college or university website will have a NPC) to get a rough idea about how much financial aid they can expect. If your parents are upper middle class, they may qualify for relatively little need based aid, yet be unwilling to spend 60-70K per year (this year’s figures) on your education. Have the money talk sooner rather than later. It may be that you will have to focus on institutions that offer merit scholarships, something the Ivies do not do.

Finally, top 20 schools are quite diverse in size, environment, student culture, etc. It may be that you might not like some of them, or even all of them. My daughter, for example, visited four Ivies plus Stanford and U of Chicago as well as mid sized and large research universities, both public and private, and LACs. She found that she strongly preferred LACs and she ended up enrolling at one where she is being challenged intellectually and is also having a tremendous amount of fun with like minded people.

And yes, get off CC until your junior year. @intparent has given you some good advice.

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I’m a current senior, and was a lot like you my freshman year, just extremely anxious and stressed about college (I wanted to go to Cal Berkeley). I had a 4.33, played competitive club soccer, was in 4 clubs, on my school district’s site council, ASB class president, etc. All of that was great, but by my sophomore year I was completely burned out and literally miserable. I finally decided to just relax and enjoy high school, and it was the best decision I’ve ever made. Don’t slack off obviously, but maybe start by stepping away from the activities you don’t truly enjoy, and are just using to put on your college apps (I had a lot of those). You’ll find yourself with much more free time to just be a kid. PLEASE try to relax and enjoy high school now! The real work doesn’t start until sophomore/junior year. There’s so many more great schools out there than just the ivies.

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According to my mother, you are doing as much as an angel can do. You need to back off the pressure you are putting on yourself because pressure is not good for your academic, social emotional, and physical mental health and about everything else. You may not even be accepted to an Ivy League or other elite school. You know about too many eggs in one basket.

About your intellectual life. That is on you. Reading extensively, volunteering, visiting every special museum and site and thinking about their importance now and then, even just thinking and wondering expand your horizons. Your brain is like Velcro so stick all sorts of things and on it. Live with enthusiasm and joy.