As August draws closer...

<p><a href="I'm%20hoping%20to%20hear%20from%20my%20daughter%20quite%20a%20bit%20for%20the%20first%20few%20weeks;%20I%20really%20want%20to%20be%20reassured%20that%20she's%20all%20right.%20I'm%20sure%20your%20mom%20will%20want%20this,%20too.">quote</a>

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Wow, I'd think the opposite would be true; that's certainly the way it works when my HS S goes off to camp in the summer. If I'm hearing from him every day, things are bad! If things are going well, I don't hear from him except once a week, if he remembers to make the Mom-requested weekly call. The only reason I request a weekly call is to see what he wants in his care package/whether he got his care package/let him know when I'll be arriving to pick him up. Three calls in three weeks, repeat for the next three-week camp!</p>

<p>cgm, I share your concern about that. It may be that the OP just needs more time to sort of differentiate from her sister. Hopefully by the second year she will feel comfortable testing her wings.</p>

<p>Let's remember that the OP wrote asking for advice about her mother. She did not ask for advice about the decision, already made, to room with her twin.</p>

<p>owlice, I know, I know, if you hear from them too often or at the wrong time of day, you hear them worried about problems that they solve 5 minutes after they get off the phone, and it makes you worry needlessly.</p>

<p>But I know I will be wishing for text messages like I sometimes get now, where she seems stressed or sad when I leave and I worry and I text her an hour later and say how are you doing? and she texts back "Super!"... </p>

<p>I hope her first few weeks of college have a lot of Super moments.</p>

<p>Hi- "a heart like his"-- Well- I have two perspectives on this. I am the mother of twin sons both starting different colleges in Sept. I feel a mixture of emotions about having the house to myself. I let my kids know I am happy without them (I have planned a vacation in Oct. for example) but I also let them know they will be missed (I joke about emailing them all the time). So I think maybe your mother needs to set some boundaries- stop laying her problems on you- and get more of her own life.
My other perspective is that of being a therapist. LOTS of middle aged women have depressions around the empty nest syndrome- it's difficult to
adjust to a new role. But even if this is the case, it's something that she should try to get help for herself, or from the other adults in her life. Of course you are an adult, but to imply that you are the cause of it, or to expect that you can help her from afar, and during this period of adjustment in your own life is unrealistic. Just my 2 cents. Enjoy college!!!!!!!!</p>

<p>Buy her the book "Letting Go". See this thread:</p>

<p><a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/500542-letting-go.html%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/500542-letting-go.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>