Asian Americans

Applying to College
181

<p>The reason Asian parents push you so hard is because they saw the discrimination when they first immigrated here, and now they are pushing you so that you can compete successfully regardless of this discrimination. </p>

<p>In the end, think about it. Asian parents aren't the ones to blame. Asian parents sincerely want the best for you. Asian parents can't change the rules of the game, so they make you try your best to improve your chances in light of the rules of the system.</p>

182

<p>Why not just let kids grow up learning their own natural talents and abilities and nurturing those, rather than drill them all to be doctors and engineers?</p>

<p>You're missing a large point of Asian culture. Conformity and security are important. Foot-binding, anyone? It's rooted in the past and is an integral part of Asian culture... many Asian parents are looking for "guaranteed success" and feel that their children must be engineers or doctors coming out of the top universities in order to guarantee success. Not only that, but many of them live vicariously through their children. Unfortunately, many are driving their kids nuts...</p>

183

<p>the way i see this, is that asian parents are to blame. they may not know it is wrong, but to view your children solely in terms of grades and accomplishments is just........ wrong.</p>

184

<p>What are "URM's?"</p>

185

<p>Under-represented minorities.</p>

186

<p>In the end, its a good thing for Asian Americans to get used to being overqualified and trying harder. There will always be people, companies, firms, who are trying to gain an advantage against other firms who love people like you. </p>

<p>Tiger Woods was forced to golf by his dad. Pushed extremely hard. But he became the best in the world despite all the dirty looks, discrimination, coughing while he is swinging, etc... To this day, Tiger Woods cannot possibly be angry at his father for pushing him.</p>

187

<p>Chinese women are 4 times more likely to be a CEO in China than a woman in America.</p>

<p>China, Phillipines, Malaysia, Korea, etc... all have had female presidents, queens, etc... whereas America has not. </p>

<p>Asian families have 8% rate of divorce in America, Blacks have 20%, Mexicans have 20%. Whites divorce rate is around 50%. Its more important for children to have parents that aren't divorced for their mental health, rather than parents who push them. Some of the white students that I taught SAT sincerely seemed like they loved the fact that I as a teacher pushed them so hard, even though they were not the same skin color as me. </p>

<p>You see, its actually out of respect that I don't cast the first stone. but once that first stone is cast against me, expect a cerebral hemmorage.</p>

188

<p>For every Tiger Woods, there is a burnout who was simply not meant to be. And that's really unfortunate, because they could have been allowed to find their personal passion and THEN be pushed to succeed at it.</p>

189

<p>Thats what college is for. Silly goose. TO find yourself in College. You cannot possibly be expected to know what to do for the rest of your life as a 16 year old growing pubic hairs. </p>

<p>And I think Berkeley is the best campus ever to "find yourself". But then again, i am highly biased. =)</p>

190

<p>do you really think force is a positive in parenting? yes, at an extent, but only to the point where it is called motivation. i guess in your world, the end justifies the means.</p>

191

<p>Shrug. Just seen too many Asian parents disallowing Asian kids to do journalism because they want a doctor, disallowing their kids to participate in sports that they want to do because they have to study extra, or if they are allowed to participate in sports, they're not allowed to unless they are champions... I personally think it goes beyond "a helpful push," it sometimes becomes a stifling shove...</p>

192

<p>I'm just wondering...have any of these asian kids ever tried telling their parents that who their parents want them to be IS not for them per se, and that they can be successful in other areas other than the stereotypical field? I'm suprised that being raised in such a liberal society such as America, one can't seem to find a way to work the system and navigate around that "push" and become the force that stays. Maybe there are consequences, maybe strict discipline factors in, maybe "mother" knows best, but I'm wondering whether anyone of them have at least tried, or be persistent about their own desires, until parents cannot do anything but yield. </p>

<p>Unless you're conditioned to be completely submissive, then that's another subject.</p>

193

<p>parents pay for your food, housing, and education. they have a right to have a say in your life. i just don't believe that it is good parenting to abuse that right though.</p>

194

<p>Acerockolla:
"they have a right to have a say in your life"</p>

<p>Yes they have a "right to have a say" but not a right to dictate, as the whole story goes.
And what they've done up to now, i promise, i'll pay back tenfolds. Not excluding growing respect and affection. ;)</p>

195

<p>Russia is an example of a country where Asian Americans who immigrated there found many high profile, very respectable positions as artists, writers, painters, etc...</p>

<p>In Russia, they used to highly value artists, and creative people. However, in America, yes, culture,arts, do not matter as much. If your Asian parents decided to immigrate to Russia, trust me, you would find a career in journalism, arts, painting, writing to be much more acceptable to your parents. </p>

<p>Right now, there are too many cracks that Asian Americans can fall through. Medicine, Law, Research, Finance, Business, Information Technology are the fields with the fewest cracks. And your parents realize this, this is why they push you in those fields. </p>

<p>If there were less cracks in journalism, arts, etc... they wouldn't mind as much, trust me on that.</p>

196

<p>But I definitely have high respect for Asian Americans such as Chang Rae Lee, Jin, John Cho, Will Yun Lee, that went the non typical route and found success. I am sure that their parents are very happy. But remember that your parents are just worried about you turning into a jobless bum.</p>

197

<p>why is berkeley the best college to find yourself, california?
i've been considering applying to berkeley as an out of state (from md) under regular decision if i get deferred from my first choice school (probably will).. you don't happen to attend berkeley by any chance, do you?</p>

<p>i'm korean by the way. just thought it was relevant in this thread. and yes, i put down asian and korean on my harvard app. it'll probably end up hurting me, i guess. or would leaving my ethnicity blank have hurt more? well.. then again.. it doesnt help that my last name is KIM. -.- if my last name was anything else, i would have left the ethnicity part blank.</p>

<p>life is unfair.</p>

198

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<p>Yes, life is unfair. But remember that many Asian Americans also know this, so you can find sympathy here. =)</p>

<p>I attended and graduated from Berkeley. I also debated that same question as you about the ethnicity part. What I can tell you is that the average SAT score of Korean admits for UC Berkeley is higher than the average SAT score for "no ethnicity" admits. However, whether or not this omission actually helps is unclear. About 10% of Berkeley admits are labeled as "no ethnicity". </p>

<p>Good luck. If you want to know why I thought Berkeley was the best place to find myself, check out this thread. </p>

<p><a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=13863%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=13863&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

199

<p>Well, I'm working towards a goal that I feel to be hopeless. It's a tough call: to respond to someone incapable of benefitting is to waste effort but to fail to respond when someone can benefit is to let someone go to waste. I suppose I can always consider third-party readers and hope the exchange does a lurker or two some good.</p>

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[quote]
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<p>No, that is not what I am saying and despite how smart you obviously are, your representation is either dishonest or foolish. I am saying as long as certain demographic tendencies are in play, outcomes are not likely to change and that you throwing a tantrum about it like a three-year old will not change the outcome.</p>

<p>
[quote]

^^ Yes, those are the rules of the "game" as you call it now. But if you say look at the Economics major at Harvard, and look within that "bus" as you call it, you will see that Asian Americans are accepted with higher SAT scores than other ethnicities within that same Economics major at Harvard. This cannot be explained by your "bus crowding" theory.

[/quote]
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<p>Yes it is...the "bus" in this case is Harvard. If you took a group of Asian kids and a group of White kids, both interested in Economics and with similar academic profiles, the Asian group's applications will be clustered in a far smaller group of schools. Note what Jamimom has said in the thread below.</p>

<p>
[quote]

Thats what college is for. Silly goose. TO find yourself in College. You cannot possibly be expected to know what to do for the rest of your life as a 16 year old growing pubic hairs.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Demonstrating enough sense to prove that you are not beyond redemption.</p>

<p>
[quote]

In the end, think about it. Asian parents aren't the ones to blame. Asian parents sincerely want the best for you. Asian parents can't change the rules of the game, so they make you try your best to improve your chances in light of the rules of the system.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>As if Asian parents are any different from other parents in that regard. However, though I am reluctant to criticize parents, I do think <em>some</em> Asian parents bear some blame: they only happily countenance certain schools or certain careers for their children. I suspect that this is strongest with immigrant parents, less strong with first-generation parents, and by the third generation within any family will be fairly attenuated. That said, and while I don't have the stats and living here on the Pacific Rim gives me a distorted view, I suspect that there's a constant heavy influx of immigrants from Asia right now so that the overall phenomenon won't end any time soon.</p>

<p>AceRockolla says:

[quote]
the way i see this, is that asian parents are to blame. they may not know it is wrong, but to view your children solely in terms of grades and accomplishments is just........ wrong.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>I agree. There are many ways to achieve, many paths to fulfillment, and a surprising number of them are economically viable if not always leading to six-figure incomes.</p>

200

<p>^ I only take criticism from a culture that is more successful at family values and lower divorce rates. If you were Polish, with 1/4th the divorce rate of Caucasian Americans, or Swedish or English with 1/2 the rate, I can honestly partially respect your opinion.</p>

<p>However, I am in doubt of your motives, as recently white supremacist boards such as Stormfront.org has declared the main reason for Asian success in schools to be because the Asian parents push their kids, and here you are, lambasting Asian parents for pushing their kids. </p>

<p>Those two factors:
1. Stormfront's view is expressed in your opinion
and
2. Your divorce rate is the highest in the world.</p>

<p>Shuts my ears off at this point. Your "hope" for me and my generation is nothing but lies to delay the day of judgement.</p>