<p>I am new here and I am totally amazed by the breadth and depth of accumulated knowledge that is the CC community! I have to admit that I have now spent several hours looking through posts.</p>
<p>My son is only in 8th grade and the only reason I stumbled across this site is thinking about colleges after meeting with the high school guidance counselor to choose his 9th grade schedule.... but now that I have, I thought I may as well ask what is in part a chances question, but perhaps also seeking advice about how to guide my son?</p>
<p>He will be an Asian male legacy at Harvard, which from what I gather will essentially cancel out.... maybe he will have a tougher time being compared to Asian peers (esp since he is doing the Science Olympiad, violin/piano thing) but maybe the legacy will give him a little tip. In terms of "stats", the only stats I have so far for him are all A's at a good Midwestern private school (usually sends one to Harvard yearly) and a 29 on the ACT in 6th grade. </p>
<p>So specific questions:</p>
<ul>
<li>Do you think my estimation that the Asian male / legacy thing cancel out is correct or totally off base? </li>
<li>Assuming his GPA/rank/stats end up in the ballpark, does it make a difference to apply early if we get to that point?
<ul>
<li>What EC/summer activity should I try to encourage or develop and how? Things that we have talked about are computer programming (CTY instructor said he should take college level course) and junior ski patrol (he is an excellent recreational skier). He's also done Science Olympiad (team is going to state and he placed first in two events at regional).</li>
</ul></li>
</ul>
<p>Other EC that he does but doesn't have any individual high-level achievement yet -
Orchestra (also going to state and is an officer but he is not first chair), sailing, soccer, baseball which he enjoys but right now all on a recreational or junior varsity level. Oh, he is NJHS but I think that goes with the grades and I assume he will be NHS.
- Any other advice as we start high school? </p>
<p>I am really sorry if this sounds too much like a stage parent... but mostly I hope to gain from the collective wisdom of CC posters as you have been so generous in the past!</p>
<p>You could write a book about tiger parenting him and time the publication to coincide with the due date of college applications during his senior year.</p>
<p>I think 8th grade is a little young to know what schools he will be interested in.
But if he is interested and you have the opportunity, you might take a few visits over the next couple years when convenient to compare different types of schools, large universities- liberal arts colleges, conservatories etc.</p>
<p>It sounds like he already has a range of activities in which he is interested. Follow his lead as to which ones he is drawn to spending more time with. For instance he might be interested in teaching younger skiers, or coaching a soccer camp as he gets ołder.</p>
<p>Alas, I think I am too late to browbeat him into playing at Carnegie Hall… I am lucky if he practices 15 min per day. But I did get a smile out of your advice… and am thinking that I am probably am being too much of a stage mom. I will try to take emeraldkity’s advice and let him take the lead. </p>
<p>although it can be hard to know how hard to parent… especially when it seems that all my sons want to do is play video games!!!</p>
This is not a question to ask us but perhaps to ask him. I always encouraged my kids to try to do something in the summer that is different and new.<br>
There is also a good summer program section on here with lots of ideas as well. See what interests him…</p>
<p>I will preface by saying I think you are jumping into this a bit early and the danger is setting up unrealistic expectations or over-stressing your chilid. You mentioned, however, excelling at activities. Just thought you might want to get the heads up that the idea of “leadership” in any of its forms seems to be something colleges look for more than top prize in an academic or musical pursuit. This does not mean going to leadership camp, but rather, say coaching a youth sport or organizing a fundraiser, etc. maybe others can chime in with their thoughts. If he sticks with ski patrol, that would be in the leadership category, I would think. I think they can also tell the difference between true passion and just racking up impressive-looking activities. (Not that top prize in stuff doesn’t count. Certainly it does also.)</p>
<p>(Oh, and nothing from middle school counts. There isn’t even space for it on the applications. They start with high school activities.)</p>
<p>My white boy legacy did get into Harvard, though he really wanted to go to MIT and didn’t get in there. Ended up at Carnegie Mellon because of the outstanding School of Computer Science there.</p>
<p>What I did was mostly let him do what he liked. As long as he was getting A’s I let him have pretty much all the computer time he liked. He’d learned a little Java in middle school and took AP Comp Sci as a freshman. Then he taught himself Linux, did some mod for the game Civilisation 4 which got written up in a Gaming Magazine, he did some modelling for my husband’s lab and then another med school professor asked him to write a program to do some kind of protein analysis. One summer I asked if he could job shadow at my brother’s office for a week. They were so impressed with him that they ended up hiring him. He worked there one summer as well as part time most of junior and senior year (Both the prof and the president of my brother’s company wrote recommendations.) At some point I looked at what he’d done and told him he needed to be giving something to the community so he spent most of one summer volunteering at the Senior Center. I was really surprised at how much they like him there! This is not a formula for getting into Harvard, but it shows that pursuing a single interest at a high level is one possibility. If it turns out he’s interested in biology, or physics, or even music you might have a different list of activities. His school ECs by the way were Science Olympiad (his team made states every year, so he got a chance to get state level medals), and Academic Team (which also was in some national level tournament). His only obvious leadership was being one of multiple VPs of Sci. Olym. What I think was more important for him was showing that he was a self-directed learner who then achieved on a very high level. The work experience showed he could be part of a team, but also work on projects independently, meet deadlines etc.</p>
<p>My younger son, who didn’t have quite such high grades or focused interests did well, though didn’t get into any colleges with single digit admissions rates. He played violin in two school orchestras (but he’s no virtuoso), was on both Science Olympiad (also won some medals) and the Literary Magazine and sold origami earrings at a local gallery. He also volunteered at the Senior Center, giving a few concerts and teaching an origami class. Again, he followed his interests. He went to music camp one summer and worked for me another summer doing computer graphics.</p>
<p>It’s not too early to think about the Ivy League.</p>
<p>But your son should develop as normally and naturally as other kids as possible without too much stress and pressure. Also, consider a range of schools, not just a single one - that’s a set up for disappointment and depression. I suggest start visiting schools, including state and others to broaden his thinking.</p>
<p>As far as ECs, he needs passion, leadership and excellence. The what doesn’t matter as much as the why.</p>
<p>As far as his ECs being thought of as stereotypical, don’t worry about it if that’s what he loves to do. If you do want to plan his ECs, consider something that not many people do that he has a chance to excel at.</p>
<p>Contrary to popular believe by many parents here, it is not too early to plan ahead, but it doesn’t mean you need to force him to do anything he doesn’t want to do. I have 2 half Asian girls, and the second one was more planned out because we got smarter and we also worked with a private GC. </p>
<p>Have him not to do typical Asian thing. If he has interest in a particular sport, go deep with it if he has talent. Not to just compete in science/math, teach him to write well. His college essays will need to stand out. Participate in school activities - student government, mentoring program, tutoring of younger students. Work with some favorite teachers, may it a research project or volunteer program - good for recommendation letters later. Junior teachers are very important. They most likely will be the ones to write the rec letters. Summer after the junior year is also important for summer programs. The most prestigious ones are the ones which are free and competitive, and applications often need to be submitted fall of junior year. </p>
<p>D2 chose ECs which interested her and she worked very hard at them. But when there was scheduling conflict (didn’t have time for some), she did consider which one would be better for college application and if she could continue with her EC in college. It could be considered as calculating or just better planning. When D2 was a junior, she did consider higher ranking colleges (or I did), but ultimately she chose the school which she considered to be a better fit.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t push too hard right now. What’s important is for him to do very well in high school. Without good GPA, he won’t even have a seat at the table.</p>
<p>^ “I wouldn’t push too hard right now. What’s important is for him to do very well in high school. Without good GPA, he won’t even have a seat at the table.”</p>
<p>Yup – the GPA is absolutely key, plus challenging oneself with a rigorous curriculum in high school.</p>
<p>As a parent, you could be more involved with the school. It doesn’t need to be money. I am not familiar with Harvard’s alumni network, but at other schools, alumni involvement is greatly valued. My brother hosted many events in his hometown, participated in various panel discussions sponsored by his alma mater. When his sons were applying to his school, there were some special considerations.</p>
<p>There’s a poster here on CC who often says that the best way for an Asian male to get into an Ivy is to be a star football player. </p>
<p>What you should be doing in 8th grade is making sure he starts high school right by taking challenging classes. Having casual conversations about college admissions is probably OK, but I think it’s important that your child be self-directed, because there’s a greater chance of success than if you push him in any direction. </p>
<p>Kids change a lot in high school. Their interests change, sometimes several times. There are so many more opportunities in high school, for clubs and activities, than in middle school. Some kids stick with the same activities, like music or dance or soccer, but many others go in totally different, unexpected directions. Some kids continue to spread their time out over many activities, others concentrate on just a few, dropping all those activities they did when younger.</p>
<p>And many kids who were academically inclined in middle school start focusing on their social life in high school. While you can do your best to monitor this, sometimes factors out of your control take over and there’s just not much you can do. CC is full of posts from parents and kids who slacked off freshman and sophomore years of high school, decisions they regret as juniors and seniors. </p>
<p>One CC mantra is love the kid on your couch. Maybe your son will continue to be successful academically – maybe not. Maybe he’ll want to go to Harvard, maybe he decides he wants to go to a large state university and go to football games. The point is that 8th grade is too early to start specifically thinking about whether your son will go to Harvard. Think it privately in your heart, but be wary of saying it out loud.</p>
<p>Also, college admissions could look different in four years. Harvard could decide to drop the legacy preference (not likely, but honestly who knows?). It could drop early action again. </p>
<p>And to answer your question specifically – I don’t think that Harvard looks as Asian/legacy as canceling each other out.</p>
<p>To oldfort’s comment above, my friend, a Radcliffe grad, helped out (I am pretty sure as an unpaid volunteer) on the Harvard admissions committee reading applications. This was maybe 8-10 years ago. She was an at-home mom at the time. I don’t know how hard it is to land that kind of a position. It probably didn’t hurt that her husband was a professor there.</p>
<p>Most important of all, remember that your kid may not want Harvard. You can put it on the table as a suggestion, but be prepared for the possibility of no interest at all. Happykid has spent time at our Ivy and Ivy-peer Alma Maters, and knows that they were good matches for us at the times in our lives when we were there. However, none of them offer anything for her career goals that are anywhere near the level of what she has been able to do at our local CC and the not-top in-state public U that she has attended. </p>
<p>Trust your kid to know what will work for his own life.</p>
<p>Oh, and don’t let him apply ED anywhere if money is an issue. Even HYPSM have been known to have ugly money surprises.</p>
<p>When my kids were in high school, the first day of school often started with "don’t fall behind."They knew each one of their grades counted toward their GPA. I didn’t want them to have, “could have, should have” when they were juniors in high school. </p>
<p>Maybe OP’s son will decide Harvard is not for him, but woukdn’t it nice to be his option to decide?</p>
<p>Regret comes in lots of forms. CC is littered with posts from kids who spent high school trying to get into a top college, failed, and now feel they wasted four years. Whatever your son does, make sure he is enjoying it and not doing it because he (or you) thinks it will give him an edge at Harvard.</p>
<p>Have your son take up golf! My son plays golf competitively (he is a current ninth grader) and a lot of the kids in his program are Asian. The older kids have had great college success, including Harvard and Yale that I know of for sure. I have no idea if the golf helped, hurt or did nothing for them, but they are wonderful, fun, engaging kids who seem very academically accomplished, as well.</p>
<p>Seriously, let him figure out what he wants to do. He is obviously a very bright and talented child and will likely do just fine no matter where he goes to college.</p>
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