<p>Okay, I know this sounds pathetic, but.... I don't know any of you personally anyway, so I don't care...</p>
<p>I broke up with my girlfriend of 4 years last spring (we'd been going out since junior high), and would like to get back to meeting/dating girls again. Problem is, I've been out of the loop for so long I don't really know how to approach girls or ask them out in college (I'm a first-year student). Obviously if I were super-confident I probably wouldn't have any problems, but I'm not, so some tips would be nice....</p>
<p>Meet chicks at places where they have nothing to do but wait, so they end up talking to you. Like a gas station, line for parking pass, laundr-o-mat, etc. You will find striking up conversation easy. Also don't look for it and it will come to you. If you go out trying to meet chicks, it will never happen, just quit looking and one will come.
Plus try to meet chicks through friends, or the facebook is always a good option.</p>
<p>Agh. Don't meet women through the facebook! Don't refer to them as "chicks" or the like.</p>
<p>As a recent college graudate who is of the female persuasion, I'll throw in a few things. Many of the guys I have dated were friends for a while before we got together (at least one of them, however, was too shy to do anything - for, oh, a few years!). If you build friendships with women, it'll be easier to talk to them. You'll get some insight into the female brain. Women won't be as scary. They also think it is absolutely darling when a guy wants to be a gentleman and do something sweet for one of their friends to get her attention - they'll be more than happy to help! Furthermore, they will tell her that you asked, and she'll think it's sweet. (This is all presuming that you find a woman to whom you are attracted and are friends with her friends.) </p>
<p>Well - to meet girls - you're in college. It's easier than you think. Get used to smiling and greeting everyone you know a little bit - as in, anyone who is in a smallish class with you, on your hall, or whatever. You'll get more confident. Some girls are really talkative and you won't have to worry about striking up a friendship - they'll do it for you. Small, co-ed activities are always good - you just get to know people well. </p>
<p>I would not suggest frat parties or "picking girls up" - most think it's absolutely sketchy. As you've dated for four years straight, I don't think you're the one-night-stand type - but you'll come off that way. </p>
<p>Hang about the social part of the library (if there is one). You'll see people that you know. </p>
<p>If you see someone who is in a class with you and knows what she's doing, ask her to study with you or exchange papers to proof-read.</p>
<p>Lab partners also make good dates. But regardless of what anyone says, do not get stuck in the friend zone. You will never get any action that way, unless you want to work a chick for like 6 months before getting downtown.</p>
<p>A couple other thoughts: chicks with kids are not marriage material (unless you want to hear "your not my real dad" the rest of your life) but they are usually pretty easy and provide the highest return on investment if you are looking to score.
Also another good way to get a chick if you have patience is to pick out a real hot chick and act like you don't want her sexually. She will probably be yours by the end of the week. (Chicks are usually very shallow and want what they can't have.)
Finally making friends with a chick is an alright idea, if not to get to know other hot chicks. But unless the chick is a "friend with benefits" or likes sports or something, no need to have chicks as friends unless you want to watch 'The View' all day.</p>
<p>joev is also much older than the average non-parent here. I believe he recently graduated or something to that effect, so he is no longer a student. So his perspective on things is very different than an 18-23 yr. old college student's.</p>
<p>To be totally fair my comments are just so you don't end up getting burned in a relationship. Being the nice guy does get you absolutely nowhere. I am not saying you have to be a total a$$hole, but take some kind of authority in relationships with women or you will be constantly burned.</p>
<p>As much as I might come off to be a jerk too, Joev in whatever he attempted to mean does have a valid point or two. NEVER get caught inbetween being a "friend" nad something else. It's kind of weird, but for some girls if you're really nice and show a lot of attention they will start to like you, but others think of you as a friend. It's always a different case, but you need to learn how to get on the correct side of that line. Now this is where you're REALLY going to hate me!! Some girls honestly like what they can't have and (I disagree with joev, I have a lot of friends who are girls, we don't watch The View, but they give me insight into these things) often times are "curious" by guys who would not be the best fit for them.</p>
<p>It's a strange, strange, world. However one piece of advice: don't go looking for it too hard. You need to show you're interested because ignoring the girl will turn her off. If you give her some hints they become intrugied. This assumes there is some type of attraction. If you play it cool, don't look for it too hard, and enjoy social events even if you're not goign to meet girls, inevitably it comes. Some call it fate/karma/whatever, I just think the laws of statistics play it out. There are so many small factors that go into this, listing them is a waste of time and im sure you can all think of them (ranging from wether she has a bf, just got dumped, is rejected a lot, scared to talk to guys, thinks she is ugly that day, bad mood, hungry, pms ;), etc etc)</p>
<p>oh also-- a lot of girls as freshmen are just looking to "explore" because this is their new freedom from HS and other relationships. I don't think most people date until their jr-sr years. But of course this isn't a set rule, just something i've noticed.</p>
<p>Relationships that you obsess and analyze over probably aren't going to be very long lasting. When it's right, then it flows, and there is a connection that makes you comfortable. Unfortunately, most of the girls with great personalities (able to laugh and tease) are lacking in the looks department. They have personalities because they are less insecure than the good looking women, which doesn't make much sense to me, but that's how women function from my ignorant viewpoint. I think that the best thing you can do is be yourself, as pathetic and prissy as that sounds. Unfortunately, I don't do that because whenever I'm talking to a girl, I have to be "on" and put on a show for them. They're so damn picky about everything. Looks, sense of humor (in other words, a comedian. Anyone can "sense" humor), body, hair color, eye color, clothing, height, weight, arm span.</p>
<p>A lot of the good looking girls are that picky. Often even they are not specific over EVERY issue. I do agree though that girls often (or so I'd defend this position) specifically pick guys because they like the ability to show them off to friends.</p>
<p>But it's true. I've said this before, but for every trait, flaw, or deformity, there's always a bunch of women who get turned on by it and list it as a requirement in their perfect man. "I find all men with brown eyes unattractive." "I won't date anyone under 6ft." Brad Pitt is 5'11", you wouldn't date him? "No, he's so ugly!"</p>
<p>I just wanted to add to the conversation since to me it seems a little mis-represented... By the way, I'm a girl. </p>
<p>I think you guys are making girls sound way more picky than they are. Let me know if I am wrong, but I actually think guys are probably more picky than girls, at least when it comes to dating. I know way more girls who date less attractive guys than do I know guys who date "less attractive" girls. Maybe that is just my experience though.</p>
<p>Also, there are a lot of girls that are not nearly as picky as you think. Some yes are picky to the point of superficial insanity, but many many are super realistic and actually care about the personality more than you think. And not all girls like *******s like you guys think. </p>
<p>Finally, I agree with the "don't go searching too hard for it" advice. Just be comfortable with who you are and not critical of everyone else. It'll all work out.</p>
<p>"Chicks are usually very shallow and want what they can't have"</p>
<p>are guys like that too?i would like to hear from guys what is it that attracts them to a certain girl besides the physical appearance? if u think that certain girl doesnt like you , does it make you cross her off the list or want her even more?</p>
<p>What attracts me to a certain girl? Hmm... I like a girl that has a personality that is fun and exciting to be around. That could equate into any number of things. She could be spontaneous, a good talker, have similar interests, or any such things people find "fun" to be around. Most folks will admit that it's looks that convince them to go and and initiate a conversation with someone but those looks become amazingly unimportant if it's no fun being around that person. As an example, up here at BYU there are tons of pretty girls but most of the time I don't even give them the time of day because I realize they can't even touch the personality, emotionality, and attitude of a certain girl.</p>