^^
So interesting that the way the men describe the experience and the reasons they give for not fighting back harder are exactly the same as what we hear from women.
I’m middle aged, and I would accept a ride from a coworker, or someone I know socially through my church, etc. Now, it’s not terribly likely to come up, but if it did…
For many teenagers, needing a ride is a more frequent occurrence.
I don’t drive-- I bike everywhere. People I know more or less well are always offering me rides. I normally don’t accept the rides, because I’m perfectly happy riding (yes, even when it’s raining) but I certainly would.
And surely I’m not the only one who carpools to events with people I know socially, casually and in some cases not at all. My bike club facilitates carpooling to the start of faraway rides; we don’t want to flood the road with cars. My political activists carpool to events. This is normal.
For levity, I’ll tell my unexpected hitchhiker story.
I was a newbit army 2LT in rural Germany in the early 90s. I was driving to a bigger town to be a tourist. Took a wrong turn as I missed a sign. I did my u turn and ended up at a stop sign. My passenger door opens and an older German man gets in.
I don’t speak German except to count, request food or beer, and ask for directions to the bathroom.
I figured hey this is rural thing where there aren’t too many buses, so I drove and somehow managed to drop him off after driving in the general direction he pointed.
Those were the days.
The latest sad story about sexual assault.
Before anyone goes on to criticize Eliza Dushku’s parents, know that her mother has already accepted her part of the responsibility. (I can’t link; it’s on the Facebook thread.) Dushku has also said that she didn’t tell her parents the full story of what happened. Let’s not let ourselves be distracted away from the villain of the piece, Joel Kramer, the man who allegedly sexually assaulted her.
And the flip side. Should be easy enough to verify if there was actually a “we” that took her out to dinner and the pool swim and a bunch of people in the car (instead of a cab). Me, I’ll wait for the investigation before I pass judgement based on the original statement.
@momofthreeboys, if your friend rushed up to you and said, oh my goodness I’ve just been mugged, would you say you’d wait for the investigation before believing him? Do you make a practice of disbelieving everyone who says they’ve been the victim of a crime, or is it only women who say they’ve been victims of assault that you mistrust?
Male models have come out with complaints about Bruce Weber and Mario Testino.
Nope Cardinal Fang - only folks who take to Social Media or the media after twenty years. If a friend rushed up to me at the moment I’d absolutely drag their butt to the police station as fast as I could or call 911. Anybody who hurls an accusation after twenty years through social media should probably be verified especially in this climate where people’s lives and careers are being ruined simply on a turn of an accusation…not my style to condemn. I’d feel the same if some guy took to social media and called out a famous female for being a hooker, or a drug addict or something else equally negative. That guys story needs to be verified before it gets accepted as gospel. I’m an equal opportunity believer or disbeliever! Everybody in their brother in Hollywood has a beef about someone these days but the media doesn’t seem to give a whit if it’s true or not or even make an attempt to find out if it’s believable or not. I have no clue who these two are - but she says he did this and that and he says nope, they weren’t ever alone. Easy enough to verify if he was alone with her or not or if they were in a car or a cab or if they were alone in a car or a cab or if she went up to his hotel room while the rest of the crew stayed at the pool. Pretty simple to do before you start plastering headlines in all the rag sheets.
We’ve had a lot of discussions about women who accuse men of assault, @momofthreeboys, and you almost NEVER believe them.
This seems relevant to the topic of stupid or self-destructive decisions (nothing to do with Eliza Dushku):
https://www.snopes.com/tide-pod-challenge/
Human beings past toddler age are BITING INTO PACKAGES OF SUPER CONCENTRATED LAUNDRY DETERGENT. On purpose. On video. That is how dumb some teens will act in order to impress other teens.
So I am not automatically skeptical when I hear a story about a teenager acting with a toddler-level understanding of cause and effect. That’s how it goes.
Not too many get posted that are believable…the believable ones usually end up in court and of are zero interest to the media or to posters because there is no point counterpoint. I used to stay away from the threads, like the original Duke LaCrosse thread because I didn’t want to get skewered by fellow posters, but my skin has thickened because of all the media stuff and what happened to Al Franken…I think it’s gone too far and there is far too little scrutiny to the claims. Do I think kids are eating Tide Pods. You bet I do. LOL.
[quote} if your friend rushed up to you and said, oh my goodness I’ve just been mugged, would you say you’d wait for the investigation before believing him?{/quote]
It would depend on the friend. With some people (i.e.; my brother) you have to be skeptical of anything the comes out of their mouth.
Eliza Dushku would have to be a sociopath or utterly delusional to be making this up. That isn’t impossible, but playing the odds, my gut is to believe her. She has very little to gain from inventing this story, and he has every reason to deny it.
This doesn’t involve a bitter ex or rejected suitor. It isn’t a fuzzy story open to multiple interpretations (when is a joke harassment? What is the meaning of consent?). It also isn’t utterly outrageous past the point of credibility, a la Jackie at UVA. So, either ED is a blatant liar trying to destroy a random man she worked with twenty-five years ago, or she’s telling the truth. That’s not enough to convict in a courtroom. But it is enough for me. If she were just looking to jump-start her career, she could have gone with someone like Joss Whedon, who she worked for as a teen on Buffy, and which would have been a lot more explosive.
“It also isn’t utterly outrageous past the point of credibility,a la Jackie at UVA.”. Yet, despite red flags from the beginning, the article got published. I have no clue about any of the recent allegations but am somewhat cautious about automatically believing any and all allegations out there.
According to this, she did tell people when it happened. She also claims she was injured on set and he says he doesn’t remember that but if she was that she probably bruised herself.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2018/01/eliza-dushku-joel-kramer-sexual-assault-allegations/amp
I don’t believe any and all allegations. There are a lot of circumstances that lead me to doubt. What most of them have in common, though, is that there would be a motivation for lying - revenge, advancing a cause, attention. While I suppose gaining attention could be a motivation for anyone, if that were Eliza Dushku’s purpose, she wouldn’t have made up an incident with a stunt coordinator. She would have chosen a bigger name, or made insinuations without attaching a name who could fight back against her claims. And that’s accepting the premise that this would be a good way to get attention for more than about five minutes, given the sheer number of women who have come forward, and that a career actress currently engaged to a real estate billionaire wouldn’t have better ways of getting back in the public eye.
That’s very different from Jackie, who did exactly what she had to do if her account was going to be chosen over that of any other survivor: come up with a truly explosive story. The equivalent here would be if ED had claimed, for instance, that she had been a pawn in a kiddie actress sex ring.
I was really referring to recent allegations in general, not specifically to the ones made by ED. Allegations are coming out every day, from multiple people. Most are true I’m sure, a few may be open to interpretation by the parties involved in terms of what took place, very few luckily seem to involve outright fabrication.
I think it was more Sabrina Erdely looking for an explosive story to advance her agenda and story, as opposed to Jackie trying to get her account chosen . The whole thing there was very unfortunate on many levels- including for Jackie, her friends, the fraternity, and the university .
When you think of how careful the WP reporters were with the women they spoke to about Roy Moore, it is very different than what Rolling Stone did. The WP actually checked court records from back in the 1970s and the WP didn’t even follow up with that fellow lifeguard or some other recent event.