<p>Our list for D2 didn’t have the prestige associated with it that yours does - but she was down to 2 and it was REALLY difficult to decide.</p>
<p>Fortunately, she was able to visit - that made the difference. I told her just to close her eyes, remember the campuses and her visits there and make a good decision.</p>
<p>She has a difficult time making decisions - but she got there. I’m glad she picked the school she did. I think it was the right choice.</p>
<p>If your kid is smart enough to get into Harvard, Duke, Columbia, WUSTL, JHU and Brown, that kid is smart enough to pick one of them.</p>
<p>And it really doesn’t matter which one the kid picks (so long as the money side works out), so long as the kid picks it.</p>
<p>Don’t you have any real problems to worry about?</p>
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<p>You will know soon enough.</p>
<p>If you had issues with any of her choices you should have discussed them before she applied and fell in love with them. This really is the ultimate first-world problem, you know. Even the “worst” school on her list (if it’s even possible to rank) is fantastic.</p>
<p>You really don’t have an adult that can objectively help your DD write a pro/con list on a big sheet of paper or a spreadsheet using criteria that she has though important during the search. If you see she is missing something you think she should consider ask her if she thinks she should add a column for med school acceptance rate (or whatever) if she says no, then accept that she’s not going to consider that in her decision. For subjective things she can rate them on a scale of 1-10. For instance where weather is very appealing, just her perfect fit, they get a 10. Where the weather is her worst imaginable a 1. Surely even if you or your husband has a school you would prefer you can suggest and/or help your dd make such a list without interjecting bias, and then step back and let her mull over the results. Things are difficult in the abstract, however when they are all there in black and white it tends to be easier to differentiate.</p>
<p>Sally, most of the problems posted on this board are 1st world problems. I just see this an excited mom anxious for her D to hurry up and decide. I can relate. It takes much longer for my D2 to make decisions than it does for me. It drives me CRAZY sometimes to wait on her for the cool stuff!</p>
<p>Thank you so much for all the replies. I admit I am a wee bit anxious (okay, a mighty bit) so I will just take a deep breath and relax. (Easier said than done). I have asked her to make a list of her schools and tabulate her preferences. She is happy to do that. She has also agreed to go through Bluedevilmike’s list.</p>
<p>I am on holidays until the 22nd (8th for her) and that gives me plenty of time albeit making time drag by.</p>
<p>She said she wants me to be in her college decision making process. I am going to try very hard to make it her decision.</p>
<p>Like Granipc my son has narrowed the field down to two schools- although actually factoring in the cost, he has 3 options. His top two choices are very different- one is a large university closer to home and the other is a small liberal arts college 3 1/2 hours away. Price wise they are the same. When he received his acceptances, he initially stated that he wanted to go to the small liberal arts school. It’s been a week now and he seems to be switching to the larger school. With today’s technology he joined a facebook page of the smaller liberal arts college and started thinking that he may not fit in to the school. I reasoned with him that a facebook page should not be a factor in his decision.</p>
<p>Anyways, he is visiting the large university this Friday and the following weekend he is doing the overnight at the small liberal arts school. It is my sincere belief that he will know definitely which school he will want to attend in the fall after these visits. He has formulated a list as to qualities in a school that he wants as well as prioritizing which characteristics are most important to him. If he has no true favorite of the two, he will go to visit the third choice which is a small state university tthat is the combination of the two. It does not have the prestige of his other two choices but it is does have aspects of both schools that he likes. Also, the financial aid package is very good and a little less than his other choices.</p>
<p>To sum it up, if your child has a chance to revisit and possibly participate in an overnight visit, I think that will truly help them make the decision.</p>
<p>Wow! Should the rest of the world’s problems be so difficult!</p>
<p>The reality is this, it doesn’t matter. If she’s one who makes the best of her opportunities, she’ll be happy at any of the. If she’s one that looks for fault in the minutiae, then she won’t.</p>
<p>M</p>
<p>MACLASSOF2013… exactly what we are going through here. S knows he likes and will fit in at the large traditional university. Then small technical university came through with some pretty awesome opportunities for him, including participating in the sport he has enjoyed since he was very little. BUT, our first visit had him thinking he may not fit in with the student body at the small school. So, he is making one more visit to the small school, with an overnight and schedule arranged by the coach. I feel pretty certain that will seal the deal one way or another… he was at 3 schools until a week or so ago when he did an overnight at one of his other options and decided it was a definite NO.</p>
<p>With those kind of choices, she might need the real deadline to be ready to give up the other choices. I made lots of lists when making similar decisions (including one on the airplane while traveling back from a visit). I couldn’t make the decision until I had to, precisely because making the decision meant giving up other, potentially good choices. Think, the classic feeling of wanting to snatch back the envelope from the mail. I had a little bit of those feelings even after the deadline, but then, at least, I could say I had to make a decision.</p>
<p>She might as well flip a coin. There is no downside to any of these schools, at all. Wow!</p>
<p>I’d be very upset if my parents had stepped in during the process and said “Okay. This is the best school. You can choose it or the others. I don’t care which, but make up your mind NOW. I don’t care that you still have a month to make up your mind.”</p>
<p>In reality, your daughter recognizes that there is a deadline. As it approaches, she will probably become more anxious and probably questions a lot, but she WILL make a decision by the deadline.</p>
<p>Personally, I think you should just wait it out. She might even ask you for your opinion. If she does, then give it to her. If she doesn’t, then don’t. You’ll just make things more complicated and ultimately might cause her to make the wrong decision.</p>
<p>If it ends up being May 1 and a deposit is due in a couple of hours, then yeah, I might say something, but even then, I’d still say it’s her decision. If she doesn’t decide by the deadline, then that means she’s either taking a semester off or going to community college. Life Lesson number one. You don’t make deadlines, you suffer the consequences.</p>
<p>My D2 has many great choices - she finally decided on the school that was the best “fit” for her. Frankly, I was surprised but not surprised. I thought that she would stay closer to home and pick the “highly ranked” school or the one with more prestige. But she has very sound reasons for her choice all of which reflect who she is and how she learns. When she delivered her decision, it was clear that she had thought long and hard and was at peace with her decision.</p>
<p>I hit reply before I made my point - sometimes it just takes a bit of time to really process all of it. Many kids don’t really think seriously about one school over another until all he acceptances are in. Now, she needs to process it.</p>
<p>I’m not done reading, but of the choices, this is my top 3 (for neuro)</p>
<p>Duke, UCLA, WUSTL (in no particular order).</p>
<p>Duke however may be the best of those 3 for undergraduate. Although WUSTL will be strong too. UCLA has an amazing department, but I don’t know how much is available to undergrads.</p>
<p>I know this thread isn’t about my choice though :-)</p>
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<p>Are you saying she has not visited ANY of the schools?</p>
<p>My point was that if you got accepted to 13 colleges and probably applied to more then you haven’t done a good job so far at narrowing down your options, regardless of what 13 schools these are. It would be good if the parents helped provide some focus/direction in this process before selecting the ONE school she will actually attend becomes a crisis.</p>
<p>Mine also waited until 2 days before. Just wait.</p>
<p>My son made his decision the night before the deadline. We had arrived home from our final re-visit late on April 27th. My H and I had a different choice in mind for him, but we kept our mouths shut. It didn’t take long for us to realize what a good decision he’d made.</p>
<p>My problem is that DS doesn’t really seem to care about the process. He refuses to re-visit either school on his short list. I hope he’s thinking about it, but he’s always held his cards very close to his chest so I honestly can’t say whether he’s given it any real thought and will end up just choosing the path of least resistance! To make matters worse, DS is the master of procrastination. I don’t think he submitted any of his 5 applications more than 10 minutes before the deadline! What can I say, he seems to like living on the edge. Or driving me crazy. Or both. :S</p>
<p>He applied to 5 schools, but was really only ever considering the 2. Both schools are pretty equal in terms of quality, and he’d probably be happy at either one (frankly, he’d be happy anywhere – he’s a pretty laid-back, low-maintenance kinda guy). He’s leaning towards one, but only because it’s closer to home and he will know a couple of kids there. I have a strong preference for the other for a number of reasons, not least of which are the generous merit $ and the fact that it would force him out of his comfort zone and allow him more room to grow and gain confidence. I have tried to reassure him that proximity to home and knowing a couple of people are not going to be issues after the first few months. But since when does he listen to me, right? Haha!</p>
<p>So, at this point, I have stepped back and left it up to him. But to satisfy my own “mom” need to feel like I’ve tried my best, I sent him an email that, first, reassured him I would support his choice and, second, laid out the pros and cons of each school as I saw them. I then told him in person that the email was in his inbox, that it was up to him whether he chose to read it or not, and that I wouldn’t say another word about it unless he asked me. (I hope I can keep that promise!) </p>
<p>We’ll see <em>sigh</em></p>