<p>I would be interested to hear about experiences where parents sent their kids off to a college they didn't visit and how that worked out. Context: DD#1 interested in east coast schools and we're in CA. I don't want to waste time or limited resources flying around the country to visit colleges she either won't get into or that will end up being too expensive to attend. It also sets a bad precedent for DD#2, #3, and #4, who will expect college visit trips of their own when their turns come. And besides, my dear wife thinks the whole idea is ridiculous. She'd rather we spent the $ painting the house (it needs it), on our own vacation (she doesn't think sitting through college info sessions and taking campus tours is a vacation), or saving for tuition. So my thinking now is that we should wait to see the actual offers. But by then it will be late March and DD#1 will have to commit by May 1. April is an extremely busy time with prom, state finals for mock trial, debate, and DD#1's other activities. It's also a busy/expensive time for me, i.e., April 15. I don't see how we could possibly make more than one 2 or 3 day trip in April and even that might not be possible. I know that I went cross country to college (MA to AZ) sight unseen and that was before the internet, so no virtual online tours, photos, videos, etc. I really had no idea what to expect, but it worked out ok. (In hindsight, I would have chosen a different college, but I stuck it out for four years and now it's ancient history.) Any other viewpoints or experiences? I'm sure there must be plenty of kids out there whose parents can't afford or don't have time to fly all over the country visiting colleges and so they just show up at freshman orientation seeing the school for the first time. Yes?</p>
<p>Given the cost of college these days, I personally think it is crazy risky for her to ATTEND without visiting. Applying is a different story, but the feeling of the campus is something that can’t be replicated in any other way. It is very costly if she makes a mistake in terms of aid, too – merit aid especially is not available after that initial freshman year offer. So she can’t just transfer and make up the difference. It could work out – but I think the odds are a lot lower that they will if she has never set foot on the campus.</p>
<p>Some ways to keep the costs down if you do decide to visit.
- Just one parent goes with her.
- If your second kid is close in age and has an interest, take them at the same time (no visit for them later).
- Stay with relatives if you have them in the area.
- Book tickets well ahead of time for cheaper fares. That is one of the problems with the April visits is that tickets are pricey because you don’t even know where you are buying them for until the end of March.
- Investigate VERY carefully before you schedule the visit. Use the Fiske Guide to Colleges, the net price calculators at the college websites, have her do any online virtual tours for the colleges, and read the forums out here for a college before even thinking about a visit.
- You might do a few visits to schools closer to home to get a flavor for what she likes (small LAC? big campus?) before selecting schools to visit.
- My kids did give up some senior year activities for April visits. It was simply a matter of priorities. Making the right choice for the next four years was more important that some of those things.</p>
<p>I’m on the East Coast, and the son of a friend of mine applied to University of San Diego sight unseen, got in, and the first time he saw it was when he moved in freshman year. He said he had looked at it online and it seemed fine. He’s very happy there.</p>
<p>I too have a rising senior. We visited some schools, but probably won’t be able to visit all the ones he’ll apply to. When my daughter was doing this 3 years ago, she couldn’t visit Occidental before she applied, but she got in. We visited after she was accepted.</p>
<p>The cost is considerable, especially when you factor in flights, hotels, rental cars. intparent makes a good point about how to keep the cost down. She could even go on her own. 30 years ago, after I got in, my parents basically said “you want to see them? Fine” and I flew around to different schools on my own.</p>
<p>It may depend on how much your D1’s college preferences are affected by things that a visit would help assess. Some students have preferences that are readily assessed by information available on the web, so visits would be less needed for them. I wouldn’t be surprised if there were many students whose first visit to even a local college or community college is the day they have to be there for registration or orientation.</p>
<p>If you are willing to visit one or a few colleges with her, but not willing to visit a lot of colleges, perhaps prioritize the safety candidates that are certain for admissions and affordability, since finding a safety that she likes is the most important part of the application list. Or if a college is near a place where you want to go to a family vacation, send her to the college tour, while the rest of the family does other things of interest.</p>
<p>You and your D1 may want to read other threads about what to ask on and how to get the most out of a college visit, in order to avoid basing a decision like this on something superficial (like what the weather happens to be on that day).</p>
<p>We’ve combined college visits with vacation, and it’s worked out nicely. College campuses are beautiful places, and many are located very well for vacations. Parents don’t have to go to the info session or tour, just the kid. Take a good book and drink iced coffee while the kid gets the run down. It also means a more active vacation than I can usually pull off with a teen, since if you schedule for a morning tour/info session, you’re done by noon and off to do something fun instead of hanging out waiting for a teen to wake up. </p>
<p>We’ve use the time to connect with family and friends and really enjoyed ourselves. Since it’s a combo vacation and college visit, the kid has felt less pressure to make any sort of application decisions, but has absorbed a lot of (contrasting) information. And I’ve drunk a lot of iced coffee. :-)</p>
<p>We love visiting college campuses and look forward to doing it again soon. When we went through this process with my older one, it was one of my favorite " vacations." That being said, I understand that visiting schools is something that many people do not enjoy or want to spend money on. Many people visit for the first time after they are accepted. My daughter’s friend applied to a school 7 hours away, sight unseen. She was accepted and sent in her deposit, again sight unseen. The very first time she saw the school was when she moved in. This worked out fine for her and she loves her school, but it would make me a bit nervous. The family never doubted their decision to do it this way.</p>
<p>RT airfare to the east coast is about $500 per person. For family of 6, that’s $3,000 for airfare alone. No family or friends on that side, so add in 2 hotel rooms x 3 or 4 nights plus car rental, meals, etc., and you’re looking at $5,000 for a pretty crappy vacation (at least as far as DW and DD’s 2-4 are concerned). So taking the whole family is out of the question. DW and I could take DD#1 and leave the others behind (they are all in high school and could manage on their own for a few days), but the jealousy would be out of control (younger D’s already resent the hell out of DD#1 for her perfect grades, etc., and this would just add fuel to the fire). But DW has no interest in going anyway. So if we go, it would be just DD#1 and me. Still going to cost at least $2,500. Can’t send DD#1 alone. Schools she would like to visit are spread around several cities/areas, some rural. How would she get around?</p>
<p>Here’s how it worked out for my sister-in-law, who did not visit her school before attending: When she got there, she realized that the school she had applied to and been accepted to was the ‘wrong’ school! (okay, okay, it was about 45 years ago, no internet, little parent involvement; she had selected a school from a stack of brochures, and had inadvertently applied to the wrong brochure). The good news is, she still has happy memories of her four years there.</p>
<p>Check Southwest or Sun Country for airfares (they won’t show up on websites like Travelocity of Yapta) to see if you can find a better deal. I also keep checking car rental prices run up until we leave on a vacation, sometimes I can save some there as prices change. I also use hotel points (from my credit card) to keep the cost down. We also don’t often stay at the hotels recommended on the school websites, as some of them are very pricey (we are big on Comfort Inns due to points and relatively low cost). </p>
<p>Gotta say… if you can’t find the money for this visit, how do you feel about your EFC when you run the net price calculator on the website for all of these schools? Just to make sure your family can truly afford the colleges on her list… no point in visiting what you can’t/won’t pay for.</p>
<p>It depends on the kid and it depends on the schools on her list.</p>
<p>One of my kids really couldn’t have cared less about aesthetics, amenities, etc. Needed/wanted an intense, engineering type vibe, preferably urban but would have made it work if the school were suburban or close to a city (didn’t want remote but that’s what maps are for). Another one would have been supremely unhappy without having “kicked the tires” on quality of life, social options, etc.</p>
<p>I’d have been ok with first kid not visiting (although he ended up doing two visits to the school he ended up at- once before applying at his GC’s suggestion, and then at admitted students day.) And he’s just that type of person- not terribly picky or high maintenance about lots of things. The other kid I’d have been terrified.</p>
<p>You know your kid.</p>
<p>I would say however, that I’d have insisted that all my kids skip senior dinner, athletic events, community service banquets, prom, etc if it meant missing the one and only opportunity to visit the finalist college. Their education is too important to fumble that close to the wire. I knew so many transfers when I was in college (back in the dark ages, before internet, etc.) who made poor choices based on stuff that was readily “knowable” with a one day visit. (School bordered a gritty/urban neighborhood and sheltered kid from suburb couldn’t handle that. Housing stock was early 20th century and no air conditioning; kid miserable in September/October and April/May. Most kids move off-campus after Freshman year and the housing options are mostly “animal house” type places.) etc.</p>
<p>To me, a visit to confirm that the 8 semester/four years are going to be in a tolerable (or hopefully, much better!) environment is more important than senior year ceremonial activities.</p>
<p>And if your younger children are going to begrudge the eldest a college visit trip, you’ve got bigger problems than figuring out cheap air fares.</p>
<p>My dd also didn’t want to stay in state. We toured the local university that she had no interest in as a baseline. Went to other in state school for a tour. Flew to 2 separate schools on the west cost Oregon State and Colorado State then held tight to see if she would get into Alabama, Kansas State and TCU. In the end she chose a school we had already toured so we didn’t need to go visit the others. Good Luck.</p>
<p>As another parent here, a couple of thoughts. </p>
<p>You can use the summer and fall to visit schools within easy driving distance of home to help her develop a feel for her preferences and priorities in terms of public/private, large/small, urban/suburban, presence or absence of greek life etc. Then, come spring, that experience will help inform the priority of long distance visits on the east coast etc, after she has some acceptances. </p>
<p>If you are looking at east coast primarily next spring, you can easily fly in and out of one city and use Amtrak/rental cars to move among schools. Boston is 1 hour from Providence (and an easy drive to Smith, Amherst etc); Providence is an hour+ to New Haven: New Haven is 2 hours to NYC; NYC is 1 hour to Princeton; Princeton is 1 hour to Philly and suburbs (UPenn, Hford/Bryn Maw/Swat). Another 2 hours gets you to D.C. Not that those are necessarily the schools she would be looking at, but is just an illustration of how manageable it can be. </p>
<p>Presumably, if you are looking at acceptances, it is more like 3+ schools, and you want to spend a full day on campus – people disagree about whether an overnight is essential as it can either cinch it for a kid, or totally turn them off, all for random reasons.</p>
<p>Many parents who have been through this have described that those 1 parent/1 student college visit trips were great times. My son and I didn’t always get along on those trips, but we sure had fun (once I learned to stop insisting on doing “one more thing” once he had decided he was done with that school). </p>
<p>Good luck, and hang in there.</p>
<p>Teach your kids to be interested in schools near nice places :). College tour one in January is New Orleans, Austin, Houston, and College Station, TX. Tour two is Clemson, Atlanta, and RTP area. A few other tours will be done as day trips as we’re near by (Cleveland, Urbana, Cinci). We’re also combining for two kids (one grad, one undergrad).</p>
<p>You said you can’t send her alone…you do realize you would be doing that a few months later? If that is really impossible, I would think the best option is to limit your visit to the first choice or two that she is 1)admitted to and 2) you can afford, and she may have to miss some of those spring activities. I agree that it seems like an awfully big leap of faith to go to a school without having seen it or being familiar with its area of the country at all. Has she spent time on the east coast? As a CA person myself, it can be a bit of a culture shock, and she better have a sense if she likes it before accepting a college place there.</p>
<p>Two different children, two different sets of preferences for schools, several years apart, but common experiences. Both had colleges that were first or second choice, absolutely love-it colleges based on the internet. Both hated the colleges based on some vibe they got and didn’t want to finish the tours let alone stay for a pre-arranged interview or talk with a professor. I am so glad that we visited the schools.</p>
<p>DH and I didn’t tour our state u’s before freshman move-in day. Since they were instate schools, we pretty much had a handle on them without an official tour. </p>
<p>Both our S’s went to the same two big state u’s that DH and I attended. After acceptance, S1 and his best friend went for a weekend visit on their own. DH and I went w/ S2 to tour his univ. in Feb.(skipped a day of school) after having received his acceptance before Thanksgiving.</p>
<p>i think you are fine waiting for acceptances. You could plan a 2-3 campus tour on fairly short notice without too much time and money. My son and I toured about half of the schools he applied to before submitting his application. It is not unusual at all.</p>
<p>I will say, if you are concerned about the expense before she enrolls, how ready are you to pay the travel bill for Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc. </p>
<p>Have a good answer before she applies. You’d hate to break her heart after she’s been accepted to her ‘dream’ school.</p>
<p>There are LOTS of GREAT schools in California. There must be a few she’s interersted in.</p>
<p>Personally, I really enjoy college visits. I took DD#1 with me on a business trip to DC a few months back and we visited some campuses and had a blast. If it were up to me, I would spend the money for a New England trip this fall. But I guess my real problem is DW, who thinks the whole idea is absurd. I told her I didn’t want DD#1 to attend a college sight unseen and her response was,</p>
<p>“Why not? I’m sure there are plenty of kids whose parents can’t afford to fly them all over the country to pick out the ‘perfect’ college. She’ll do fine wherever she ends up.” (DW is DD#1’s step-mom and did not go to college, so this is all new to her.)</p>
<p>Me: “Well, why don’t you come with us? It’ll be like a vacation.”</p>
<p>DW: “No way. Driving around from campus to campus while DD#1 talks about her SAT scores, GPA, and what the cafeteria and dorms are like at each place is not my idea of a vacation. Instead of taking her on another trip, why don’t you and I go someplace just the two of us?”</p>
<p>Me: “Uh… never mind.”</p>
<p>But it does make me wonder… is it just another example of the way our generation spoils our kids? The music lessons, traveling sports teams, academic summer camps, college trips to find the perfect fit… My parents never did any of that stuff. The closest I came to a college trip was over winter break of my senior year when my best friend and I jumped in his old broken down Ford and drove down to DC because he wanted to visit G-Town and American U. I just went along for the adventure. Stayed in a cheap motel in Chevy Chase, MD. Amazed we made it back alive.</p>
<p>Anyway, I turned out ok. Are we over-involved and over-doing it? Is all the worrying over whether little Johnny or little Susie finds the perfect college fit a healthy thing or just another sign of over-indulgence?</p>
<p>NCalRent: “There are LOTS of GREAT schools in California. There must be a few she’s interested in.”</p>
<p>Not really.
Stanford - maybe, but too close to home and acceptance highly unlikely
UC Berkeley - too close to home
UCLA - too LA
USC - ditto AND in the ghetto
UC San Diego/ Santa Barbara: “i’m not a beach person”</p>
<p>Besides, I’d like to see her get out of CA and go back east, where I came from, and get a fresh start, eventually marry and settle there. I am bearish on the future of CA. I would go back too if I could, but I’m a licensed prof’l with a client base, so too late for me to start over.</p>
<p>NCalRent: “i think you are fine waiting for acceptances. You could plan a 2-3 campus tour on fairly short notice without too much time and money.”</p>
<p>This sounds like a reasonable plan. Once acceptances are in, she should be able to narrow the field down to 2 or 3 schools on paper. We can then make one trip in April to finalize, and if she has to miss some activities, so be it.</p>