<p>Yep, but OP has said that his wife resents such a plan. It would also be a LOT more expensive. D should be able to set up overnight stays on campus. Dad would have to pay for a hotel.</p>
<p>As for traveling solo to NYC, it’s possible…though a bit pricey…to get a shuttle or limo directly from the airport to Yale. If she doesn’t want to visit schools in NYC, she could also fly into Newark. Go by monorail to the train station and then take Amtrak to New Haven. [Newark</a> Liberty International Airport, NJ Train Station (EWR) | Amtrak](<a href=“Amtrak”>Amtrak) IMO, this is not the least bit scary.</p>
<p>My older son hated college visits, insisted all dorms look the same and that he only cared about the quality of the academics especially in his major. Then he didn’t get into what he thought were his top choices… He did get into a very highly ranked university not so good in his major and another school ranked tops in his major. The visit, which he did after acceptances came in, made it pretty clear which school to choose and he never looked back.</p>
<p>My younger son really wanted to see colleges, but except for Chicago stuck to colleges that were a four hour drive away so we managed to do visits mostly while visiting relatives or day trips. </p>
<p>Back in the day, my parents were overseas my senior year and I checked out colleges on my own. Plenty of students still do that. That said, I really enjoyed visiting colleges with my kids, my husband only went on one set of college tours when we were visiting his sister.</p>
<p>If you want a success story…my daughter went from CA to the East Coast school sight unseen and hadn’t been to the east coast before. It was great for a girl who really wanted the away experience. She stayed and did research most summers too, so only had short trips home. </p>
<p>She did visit UChicago which had been the top choice. Great visit, they organize the visit day well and give you access to student panels for discussion. It was fun to visit Chicago. But she still was comfortable picking Brown instead. In hindsight it was a better fit. But who really knows.</p>
<p>Can’t think of much to add. It helped that she was the kind of person who would do well most everywhere, and not concerned about things like dorms. I think her school was really easy to like too. </p>
<p>Your trip sounds great and with a nice variety of schools, I think that you should go with her instead of sending her alone because it will be more efficient to get around and will be interesting for her to have you to discuss the colleges with. But if you have to go just where she gets in, it does make more sense. Just let her know up front that the trips will be limited to the top choice or two. Maybe that trip makes more sense to go alone. Maybe the grandparents would like to spring for that? hehe</p>
<p>This sounds more like family dynamics than like seeing colleges, and it doesn’t really sound like it’s about the money either, except as money is used as a proxy for attention and love. Don’t get me wrong, there are real costs involved, but that’s not primarily what this family is actually discussing. OP needs to figure out for himself if the resentment from W will outweigh father-daughter time with D. People live complicated lives.</p>
<p>I don’t see how we’re going to resolve this for you, though.</p>
<p>I think if there is no time or money for visits then you limit where those visits go and apply to. Yes I understand that there are other priorities (we had the same issues) but we took the kids to visit schools that were in our budget. If that meant forgoing the family vacation so be it. In the scheme of my life span a couple of years of no beach vacation is small potatoes. </p>
<p>Besides visiting schools was chump change compared to the tuition years when vacations were few and far between. </p>
<p>It sounds like the husband and wife are far apart as to what this child should be spending in the family budget. Different priorities. I’m sure this happens in second marriages. Also first marriages. But it sounds like there are a bunch of kids in this marriage and colleges to pay for. It sounds like one kid is more high performing than some of the others. Allocating who spends what part of the college pie seems to me like Solomon’s baby. I hope that made sense lol!</p>
<p>Are most people’s 17 year old daughter’s confident enough to do a trip like jonri proposed by themselves? My D gets around NYC, takes the train through 2 boroughs to get to school and back everyday, and I wouldn’t call her sheltered, but I can’t imagine she would want to take a trip like that by herself at her age. Travelling to college and back as a 17 year old by oneself is one thing, schlepping to many different schools and different states, over multiple methods of public transportations, in cities one has never been to, is another. Or am I crazy?</p>
<p>Thanks for all the posts. Lots of opinions, no right answers. Right now I’m leaning towards the wait-until-acceptance plan, get her to narrow the field to top two choices that she hasn’t seen (maybe three if two are in the same city), and then visit next April to confirm final selection. And yes, maybe I can hit up GP’s for part of the travel costs then. Thanks all.</p>
<p>One of mine would have been fine doing a cross country trip alone at 17, the others not. Depends on the kid. If you’ve got a day-dreamer who locks himself out of the house a few times a month and then can’t remember where the family stashes the “secret” key and leaves for school without his watch, phone, or pencils on SAT day then no, a cross country trip alone is not the right plan.</p>
<p>I am from NY and there is no way that I would let my 17/18 year old daughter do that trip alone. It’s hard enough for an experienced adult who is familiar with the area, let alone a teenage girl from California. I think the OP needs to sit down with his wife and have a nice discussion- that won’t be easy. It sounds like there is some jealousy and resentment going on with the wife. I like the suggestion of laying out a plan for both daughters. I would never allow my kids to choose a college without visiting first, as you learn a lot about " fit" by walking the campus. We have not taken a vacation in many years- these visits are our vacation and I would not change that for anything.</p>
<p>There’s no way I would let my 17 or 18 yo D do a multi city trip like the one above without a parent or other adult. That’s a lot of burden to put on the D just because W doesn’t “get” college trips. It sounds that W just doesn’t “get” spending on college at all, and that’s the real issue. Good luck.</p>
<p>I agree with those that say the issue goes beyond visiting colleges. That said, when the son of friends was accepted into colleges, he visited his top two choices and did overnights [set up by the school) on separate occasions. Parents said that gave him a far more in depth look at the schools than just a day tour and presentation.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t have any issue sending a high school senior on such a trip on his or her own.</p>
<p>I hope the family has several contingency plans for their kids, as things may get stickier and stickier. It’s always challenging when a party tries to control actions of another with finances or other carrots/sticks, especially when uneven incentives are offered and there are significant apparent (and hidden) strings.</p>
<p>Well…the whole purpose of the trip seems to have changed…which is fine.</p>
<p>There’s no need to visit Yale or Brown before decisions are made if you are from California. However, I wonder if UMass-Amherst or BU is going to hand out any merit money to someone who has never set foot on campus. I guess there are other ways to show interest.</p>
<p>BU never offered a penny of merit to our S. We believe he MAY have been offered some if he had listed them as his 1st choice with College Board (he was a NMF), but he didn’t KNOW which U was his 1st choice and preferred to remain undecided until he had all the offers to consider. He did eventually list USC as his 1st choice and got their generous merit award.</p>
<p>When my daughter was 17, she followed this itinerary.</p>
<p>1) SFO to DC (I think Dulles); then a taxi or airport shuttle to the home of an adult family friend who lives in DC.
2) On her own, using DC metro: visit American & GWU. Also Smithsonian.
3) Train (?) to Baltimore, for scheduled overnight at Goucher.
4) Train to Manhattan. Stay with friend attending NYU* (NYU was not originally on the college-visit list, but d. liked NYU so much that it was added. I believe she was able to fit in an info session there)
5) Subway to Barnard / Columbia.
6) Subway to JFK & return flight home.</p>
<p>My d. had previously visited DC & NYC, more than once, and she was meeting and staying with friends, both her age and adults – so I am not sure how much this compares to what Jonri suggested. She did not have parents traveling with her, but she did have contacts to meet in every city. I’m not offering an opinion, just an example. </p>
<p>My d. was only interested in attending colleges in or near major urban centers, so in our case there never was much of a transportation issue. </p>
<p>I would point out that wherever the student chooses to attend college, if the college is far away, that student will have to be able to get to that college and return on their own. If the kid has the confidence and maturity to manage the travel, then the experience of actually doing the travel without a parent to rent a car and drive may end up being a factor impacting the college decision. The student will be a year older when they head off to college, but the logistics aren’t going to get much easier.</p>
<p>To add to the anecdotes, I toured my first school before I applied, and loved it so much that it became my first choice. During my first year, I grew less and less fond of it, probably because I rapidly matured during that time period (in retrospect, I should have taken a year off before applying to colleges), and switched my major to one that the school didn’t offer. In the second semester I applied as a transfer to a university and the first time I visited the campus was the day before classes started. As of now, I love my new school. However, I heavily researched the school before applying, and knew exactly what I liked and didn’t like about my old college and thus sought out one that offered that fit my criteria. </p>
<p>I think your plan about not visiting until after admissions is a good one. After all, there are a huge number of ways to research college (I recommend virtual tours and emailing admissions about potential concerns), and it’s fairly easy to tell which colleges will not be good matches based on the official and unofficial information available.</p>