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<p>Unless the student’s high school has such on staff, hiring a college counselor for OP’s D1 would likely be as problematic in terms of family politics as taking D1 on college tours. That’s beside the point that not all college counselors are that good a value.</p>
<p>I do see the stickiness of having help with this particular situation. However, the small fee paid upfront can save hundreds or thousands in travel fees to schools, application fees to the wrong schools and gain money in merit awards and the like.</p>
<p>But what the wife objects to is a <em>fundamental</em> thing - that the family’s resources (time, money, energy) shouldn’t be resourced heavily against the daughter’s college search, because it’s not a big deal and not all that important and no reason you can’t pick sight unseen and any basic college should do (I’m exaggerating for effect, but that’s the gist). And what you’re suggesting would likely cost MORE than the cost of a plane ticket for the father to accompany daughter.</p>
<p>The family dynamics of the OP with reference to the topic at hand seem to have modified from the beginning of the thread until now. Maybe the OP has enough info and insight to figure it out the rest of the way by himself?</p>
<p>I am only on the 7th or so post (ok, 18th) of this GIANT thread, so please forgive me DgDzDad if I’m repeating what others have already said.</p>
<p>I just read the part where you indicated DW is D1s stepmother. Ok, here’s where I seriously think you need to put your daughter’s interests first and foremost, whether your wife is amenable or not. </p>
<p>Which definitely doesn’t mean that you need to visit the schools before your daughter applies. I think it is fine to wait to see if she’s accepted to the schools, and after that, winnow down to her top 2 or 3 for visiting. </p>
<p>But this is a four year, very expensive decision, and seriously, the east coast is very very different than the west. I’m a child of divorced parents, and I grew up in NY, and visited my dad in Southern Cal . . .and it really is night and day . . .so I’d encourage your daughter to have one west coast safety school just in case she does not like the east coast vibe.</p>
<p>And I’d definitely encourage you to take her to visit those top choices. I think you’ll be happy you did for reasons that go even above and beyond ensuring she makes a good decision.</p>
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<p>Remember that the OP’s stepdaughter (wife’s daughter) is going to community college at the same time as OP’s D1 goes to whatever college she goes to. So there is likely some resentment against allocating “scarce” family resources to D1’s college costs. Meddling grandparents (OP’s ex-wife’s parents) offering money to D1 with strings attached probably are not helping the family political situation.</p>
<p>It looks like this thread is not really about the merits of pre-application college visits, but more about the OP’s family politics.</p>
<p>“And yes, maybe I can hit up GP’s for part of the travel costs then. Thanks all.”</p>
<p>I’m not sure if the grandparents in question are healthy, but how about they take D1 on the college tour . . .they sound like they have the resources and the interest, and they might actually LOVE doing it and enjoy spending time with their granddaughter. </p>
<p>My grandparents funded my college education (also from a divorce situation), and I never thought to ask them to take me on college visits, but I really wish I had - - I ended up visiting one college with my mother. Fortunately, I loved that one immediately and went there . . .but seeing others would probably have been a good idea.</p>
<p>Best of luck and hope you find a compromise that everyone can embrace!</p>
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The OP asked whether he needs to visit at all, making clear that finances were part of the issue. It’s been presented as an all or none choice. I and some others suggested the option of the daughter traveling alone as possible solution, and pointed out some positives with that approach. He says he already took the D with him on a business trip to DC where they visited several campuses, so it is not as if he has been totally shut out of the bonding experience / parent-child college visit rite of passage.</p>
<p>My mom bought her last two cars without a test drive. It worked out fine for her. But I would not recommend that method. Likewise I would not recommend picking a college (costing same as 5 or 10 cars) without visiting. </p>
<p>In OP’s case, I worry about the GP finance factor. I heard of a case where GP changed their mind mid-college… bad for the student, bad for family dynamics.</p>