<p>Two days ago my close friend told me that she has been taking a diet pill every day for over 3 months, and for the past month she has been vomiting about 5 times a week....And of course she said, "Please promise not to tell anyone!!" </p>
<p>I know if I tell a school counselor or someone in her family she will be unbelievably mad at me and stop talking to me, and i don't care.... My question is, would it be better to just go ahead and tell someone or would it be better to have a serious chat with her to convince her to seek out help herself? (Obviously i will proceed to tell someone if this doesn't work first.)</p>
<p>I'd talk to her at first, and see what her reaction is, then if nothing changes definately go to her parents. </p>
<p>I had a friend who was teetering on the edge of anorexia a few years ago, and whenever one of us tried to confront her she vehemently denied anything was wrong. A few of us ended up going to her mom and talking to her about our concerns. It turned out that the mom had noticed things were off as well, and was actually relieved when we came to her. She then knew that it wasn't just her being paranoid, and there was actually cause for concern. </p>
<p>Luckily my friend's problem was caught early, and it looks like your friend hasn't gotten into full fledged bulimia, with just 5 times a week of vomiting (less than once a day). But do something now, or things will likely get worse.</p>
<p>Try talking with your friend and be sure that you understand this is an illness. Girls have brain chemistry changes and early intervention and treatment do work. Be supportive and let your friend know that this is not weakness of character or something she is likely to control on her own. Sorry you have to deal with this.</p>
<p>Eating disorders have THE highest mortality rates of any psychological illness. If your friend told you in confidence that she was going to kill herself that night, would you tell?
It is an extremely awkward position for you to be in, but your friend is very sick. Bulimia is interesting eating disorder because often times the individual stays at or near a healthy weight, so its much more difficult for an outsider to detect than a 60 pound anorexic. But it is just as dangerous.
You are a good friend to be concerned. Remember that no matter how hard you try, you cannot make her stop purging, and there is not much you can do, which is why you need to tell a guidance counselor or trusted adult. your friend probably will be angry and in denial and resist, but she needs help.
if you want more advice or information, feel free to PM me- eating disorders are my area of expertise, professionally and personally.</p>
<p>Well you'll hate this.. but intervention all the way!</p>
<p>My friend is/was a big stoner. Like, she was stoned 24/7, like, being stoned was the normal state for her. And she moved out of her house, to her boyfriend's flat (who is also a big stoner and who HITS HER) and they live with 2 other stoners.</p>
<p>And so me and her other friend realised that we cant stop her. We tried talking to her and she just laughed it off.
SO, we contacted her parents. And we set up an intervention. Her whole family was there, and me and her friend were there. And she thought she was coming to her birthday dinner. (it was her birthday). And she got sent to rehab.. on her birthday.</p>
<p>And omg she cursed at me, she tried to punch me, she tried to spit on me, and she told everyone that she's gonna kill all of us when she comes out of rehab.</p>
<p>And i'm praying to god (even tho im agnostic) that she gets better when coming out. Because if she doesnt, i'll have to move house..</p>
<p>EDIT: oh and so the moral of my story is.. tell someone. First, try talking to your friend yourself. Keep trying to talk to her until she breaks. And if she falls apart and still disagrees with you, you should really tell someone. She might hate you for the time being, but when she recovers, she'll thank you. And i hope my friend will thank me too.</p>
<p>"Eating disorders have THE highest mortality rates of any psychological illness. If your friend told you in confidence that she was going to kill herself that night, would you tell?"</p>
<p>I agree. Your friend is risking her life and health. By telling her parents, you may save her life even if she becomes angry at you. If you don't tell, she may die or have lifelong health problems that were preventable.</p>
<p>THe fact that she told you indicates that she knows something is wrong. You could view what she said as a cry for help. She lacks the ability to stop herself from the destructive behavior, so told you in hopes that you'll take actions by telling someone who can get her to the professional help that she needs.</p>
<p>I also empathize for what you're going through because when I was in college, my roommate told me that she was suicidal. She asked me if I would push her out of our 18th story window. She asked me also not to tell anyone that she had asked that of her.</p>
<p>I told our dean, who called my friend in and insisted that she get professional help. My friend was very angry at me, but more than 30 years later, she's still alive.</p>
<p>Meanwhile, the year after we graduated, another student died when he jumped out of the 18th floor of the dorm where my friend and I used to live.</p>
<p>O, we contacted her parents. And we set up an intervention. Her whole family was there, and me and her friend were there. And she thought she was coming to her birthday dinner. (it was her birthday). And she got sent to rehab.. on her birthday.</p>
<p>And omg she cursed at me, she tried to punch me, she tried to spit on me, and she told everyone that she's gonna kill all of us when she comes out of rehab."</p>
<p>Your friend is really fortunate to have your friendship. Clearly, you are both courageous and compassionate to have done so much to try to help your friend get well.</p>
<p>I have a friend who is a great dancer. Whenever she gets a big part in a dance thing she goes on a diet for at least a month before the performance. Her diet consists of crackers pretty much. She hardly eats anything, and by the time her performance rolls around, she is looking pale and sickly. She usually loses about 10 pounds in a month and looks a lot smaller. </p>
<p>When she isn't prepping for a performance, she eats pretty normally, but she is constantly tlaking about her desire to be skinnier (she is 5'7 adn weighs 115 normally, and 105 after her diet)...like she is obsessed with weight. She has even talked to me (5'7 130) about going on a diet because I have "gained a little weight". </p>
<p>Should I be concerned about her? She is probably the smartest girl in our grade and I keep telling myself that she is too smart to have an eating disorder...am I being naieve?</p>
<p>This situation is kinda common. I'm going through the same thing and it is not fun. I have a friend who is anorexic and every time i confront her, she completly turns it around on me. tangerine_soup, i suggest that you talk to her and tell her that if she doesn't get help, you'll do it for her. But don't threaten her. She'll just get way more offensive. Just tell her that you love her and that you'll go through it with her. If that doesn't work, grit your teeth and prepare for her to hate you because you have to tell someone.</p>
<p>"Should I be concerned about her? She is probably the smartest girl in our grade and I keep telling myself that she is too smart to have an eating disorder...am I being naieve?"</p>
<p>Blythe: people who struggle with eating disorders are typically very Type-A: smart, over-achieving, perfectionists.</p>
<p>What do you think you can do that would make a difference? Think about this. Her cohort is the dance troupe. There are adults who have great knowledge about eating disorders and dancers......what have they done? Her weight is considered when putting her into a role and believe me.....the dance community has much more influence than you ever will. I'd try to avoid having her engage you in conversations about it.........she is very unlikely to change w/o professional counseling. You are not a professional counselor. If her family knows she dances then they know about eating disorders. Nuff said.</p>
<p>hazmat, you are an idiot. I'm sure you don't mean well by your comments. blythe89 and tangerine_soup are only trying to help the people they love. You just want them to turn their heads and give up. This is not realistic. Don't talk about stuff you don't understand!!!</p>
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I'm sure you don't mean well by your comments
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<p>Nay, Nay , Nay......the problem that usually develops for students who become enmeshed in the outcome of mental illness is: overwhelmed w/ responsibility, feelings of helplessness, anger. New friends, roommates of folks with mental illness generally have no experience and aren't equiped with the knowledge or boundaries to help students with eating disorders. Call me an idiot, call me uncaring.....but don't call me uneducated about this. Having compassion, offering support are appropriate but thinking you can affect the outcome isn't. These illnesses require professional treatment for a positive outcome. Me thinks perhaps you protest too much???</p>
<p>wow! That was a pretty comprehensive cut and paste you did there. No i guess i can't call you uneducated now that you've used the brighter side of google to make your argument. </p>
<p>ANYWAYZZ, this isn't about arguing, it's about taking care of people who need help and you do that with love! End of story. I'm done.........</p>