<p>I know it's a bad idea to "follow" your boyfriend or girlfriend to a college, especially to a college you wouldn't otherwise choose.</p>
<p>But what about avoiding a college that would otherwise seem like a good fit for you, because your boyfriend or girlfriend goes there? I don't hear much discussion about that.</p>
<p>If your child was admitted to a college that has their major, is in your price range, and seems like a good fit - but their bf/gf is planning to go there, would you allow your child to attend?</p>
<p>(Both my kids are already enrolled in colleges they love and have no plans to transfer. This is more of a theoretical question.)</p>
<p>S applied to the same school as his gf and they broke up before both were accepted. When we asked him if he was ok going there, he looked at us as if we were nuts. He said, “Why would I give my first choice school because of that?” Fast forward, he’s doing extremely well ad is involved in a great ec where he’s meeting new people (and girls, too, btw.)</p>
<p>A parent who forces DS or DD to skip Great Fit College, simply because of gf/bf, has given DS or DD carte blanche to blame that parent for every bad thing that happens in college and also for every bad thing that happens in the relationship.</p>
<p>My personal opinion is that, with few exceptions, the parent should decide the amount they are willing to fund (for any college) and the student should decide which college to go to school at.</p>
<p>I don’t think parents should allow or not allow their students to go to any particular college.</p>
<p>Of course, that gets tricky sometimes. Like when your kid picks the wrong college. Or won’t consider the college you think he would be happiest at.</p>
<p>What parent would not let their child attend a great fit university simply because of a bf/gf? </p>
<p>Now, I hear the poster on the “what if the bf/gf is a terrible person who is going to cause untold troubles for your D/S” point. But quite frankly if you forbid your kid to go to a school that is a great fit and the destination of her/his current love…she/he will become angry and resentful. And probably not do very well at whatever college she/he ends up at anyway due to said anger and resentment.</p>
<p>Now, if D/S goes to school and then proceeds to get terrible grades the first year, that’s one thing. But you gotta give them a chance.</p>
<p>This has been discussed many times on cc, but usually it was the student asking this question, and often it was the “should I apply to the same school my bf/gf is applying to” or similar. Bottom line, they typically decided it was fine to apply/attend as (a) it is easy to establish separate circles of friends and (b) relationships may or may not last. People date and break up on campuses all the time. What difference does it make when they started to date?</p>
<p>I chose the college I did despite my bf (who was a year older) going there – it had a particular unique program that was what I wanted. My parents disliked him but let me go anyway. We broke up by February of my freshman year.</p>
<p>^^Same here. I went to the same big state u. as my( two years older) bf. I would have gone there regardless of whether he was there or not. We broke up just before fall exams my freshman yr. Best thing that could have happened to me.</p>
<p>My S and his h.s. gf of three years planned to go to same big state u. Both were accepted in fall of senior yr. but then broke up before Christmas of sr. year. I wondered if it would be weird for them (they lived in side by side dorms) but it was never a problem.</p>
<p>In my H’s family, two sisters ended up going to same school as their BF’s.<br>
Both sisters ended up splitting up with BFs in their freshman year. </p>
<p>Unfortunately these two sisters attended small private schools, not a big public university. It did work out OK for both girls & eventually all were involved in new relationships. So it was never a problem for either one of them.</p>
<p>I think a more likely scenario is for your kid to resist applying to a good fit school because some person from high school that she dislikes is going there.</p>
<p>My S ended up going to the same college as his high school GF. It wasn’t the first choice of either one of them, so it wasn’t as if they planned to go off to college together. Rather, it was the best school each of them were admitted to. That made me feel comfortable that fit issues weren’t being ignored in favor of the relationship.</p>
<p>I didn’t like the idea for some typical parental reasons, like concern about them becoming too involved when they needed to be focusing on studies. But specifically for my S, I worried because he doesn’t tend to prioritize being social. So I was afraid that having one very good friend already would feel like enough to him, and he wouldn’t work too hard at meeting lots of people. Then if they ever broke up, he’d be really lonely at college.</p>
<p>Well, they stayed together for 3 more years. S had joined a frat and some other organizations, so he did have friends. But I wouldn’t say he had a lot of them or many close ones beside the GF. So my fears were realized.</p>
<p>Still, I did feel that it was his choice and he needed to be the one to make it.</p>
<p>Vitrac, both of my kids are very happy at their current colleges. </p>
<p>Hunt and Rodney - I guess that avoiding someone you don’t like is a legitimate question as well! D is attends the same college as a girl who actively disliked her in hs. When people ask her if they know each other, she replies, “It was a big high school.” She almost never sees this girl, and so far as I know both are happy there. It hasn’t caused any problems at all.</p>
<p>One of my good friends dated a girl for 2.5 years in HS (broke up January of senior year). Her older sister went to the school that he applied to ED (and was accepted in November). Fast forward a couple months, she had a bunch of acceptances to decide from (off the top of my head, Michigan, SMU, UGA, school she went to, and a couple more). She decided to attend the same school as my friend, saying that she wasn’t going to let the fact that he was going there prevent her from choosing the school that was the best fit for her. They are both happy and loving the school, although I think that there were a couple awkward moments during last year (it was a messy breakup).</p>
<p>What if it’s multiple kids? Our school has a history of sending many kids each year to Cornell. There are sure to be several kids at Cornell that my kid does not like. If Cornell is an otherwise great fit, should this affect his decision?</p>